A Break in the Case
by Vorima Calina
Summary: AUJames and Lily have been married for a little over a year. He is an Auror with the Ministry and she works as a Healer for St. Mungo's. What will happen when they are assigned to work on solving a mysterious and gruesome murder investigation? Ch.16 UP!
1. The Beginning

**A/N: This is a story that I co-wrote with the lovely Lils. It will go back and forth in point-of-view because I wrote for James and she wrote for Lily. Please R&R. If I see that people like the story I will add to it, and trust me, it gets better. :)  
**

Lily was sitting in her office reading her newest case file. She had just been promoted. She now headed a Magical Law Enforcement Forensics team. Interestingly enough, she worked, many times, with James' auror buddies on cases, although never with James himself. Her eyes scanned the gruesome details. This one was horrible. But it was strange; there were no pictures of the body included. Great. She'd have to go to the morgue. A footnote at the bottom requested that she give Barrington, head of the Auror's offices, notice before she went to inspect the remains of the victim, so that he could send an auror over.

Lily sighed and tossed the file onto her desk, sipping at a cup of tea. She'd never been a coffee drinker. Getting up, she strode over to the small fireplace, bent down, and took a pinch of floo powder from the small bowl on the mantle. Tossing it in, she gave the hearth the head auror's office. In a momentary whirl of color, she was looking out of the man's fireplace.

"Barrington," she said loudly. The man sitting with his back to her jumped in surprise.

"Evans. Got the note in the case file, I see," he said in a gruff voice.

"Yeah, I got it," she said, rather disdainfully. "I'm headed down to the Morgue now. Just do me a favor; don't send me someone right out of training, will you? I was cleaning up vomit for an hour last time, and I didn't appreciate it."

Barrington laughed. Lily rolled her eyes and extricated herself from the fire. In a second, she was back in her own office. Sighing, she picked up the case file. Tucking it under her arm, she made to disapparate. This was going to be a long day.

James sat down at his desk and sighed. He probably would not get a chance to sit for very long and he took the opportunity to gulp down some coffee that his new assistant had left on his desk for him. Yawning, he stretched and thanked the fact that he had the caffeine from his coffee otherwise he knew he would be sleeping on his desk.

James's newly appointed assistant, Jack Schroeder, opened the door and stumbled in under a very heavy looking stack of papers.

"So many reports already?" James asked in a tired voice.

"Yessir, two more attacks in Wales, another in London, and a really nasty one just outside of Edinborough. By the way, Barrington left you a memo on top of this stack. He says it's urgent." Jack said nervously, setting the papers down on James's desk. Jack was only seventeen and fresh out of Hogwarts. Even though James was only nineteen, he could see the difference between himself and Jack, and sometimes it was frightening.

"Thanks, Jack. I'll get right on it." James replied picking up the memo from the top of the stack. Immediately after Jack had left, James found himself leaning into the fireplace and face-to-face with Barrington.

"James, good you got my memo. I was beginning to wonder if that assistant of yours was worth his minimum pay," Barrington grumbled.

James simply watched his boss, with a cold expression on his face. Barrington had a way of demeaning some of the newer recruits and James was not at all sure that he liked that.

Once Barrington saw that James was not going to respond he continued, "I need to move you to the case on the attack outside of Edinborough. You're to accompany a healer from St. Mungo's to the morgue to view the body. Then you will both work on trying to solve the case. Got it?"

"Yes sir," James replied, "I just hope it's not one of those Hufflepuff softies who's sweet all the time. Otherwise he won't be able to make any progress in a case like this."

Barrington gave a bark of laughter and looked much too amused for the situation in James's opinion, but he ignored this, saluted his boss and pulled his head out of the fireplace.

Once he was back in his office, he gathered a few essentials, grabbed his cloak throwing it over his uniform, and apparated, trying to brace himself for the worst.

Lily nearly fell over in shock when James apparated nearly on top of her. Regaining her balance, she stared at him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, cocking her head to the side and giving him a quizzical look. "Don't you have work?"

"I could ask you the same question," James replied, returning her quizzical look with one of his own. "I'm suppose to be meeting a St..." he let his sentence fall away unfinished as he realized what was going on. No wonder Barrington had found the situation amusing.

A look of comprehension dawned on Lily's face. "Remind me to hex Barrington later," she grumbled, although she was secretly glad to have him here and not somewhere dangerous.

"Come on, follow me."

She began to walk briskly down the hall and took a left into a very large, white room, where she stopped just inside the doorway, opening her case file.

"Says here it took place outside of Edinborough, about five or six hours ago," she said, looking down the sheet in front of her again. "Nobody who arrived on scene was sure what curse had been used on the victim. Weird," she said, flipping through the pages. "No discription of the body. No pictures, nothing. Just a body number."

"Everyone around Auror headquarters is referring to his as "a nasty one"," James said. He was beginning to feel as though this case was going to be even more unpleasant than usual.

"Well, we're about to find out why." She pulled out her wand and raised it. "Body number 20804, please," she said, consulting her file.

A cool, ringing female voice responded in a rather mechanical tone.

"Body 20804. Location: Edinborough. Identity unknown."

"Correct," said Lily briskly. A large, flat table-drawer rolled out from the wall, twenty feet in front of them to their right. On it was a black body bag. Lily moved to the wall immediately to their left and drew out a medical mask and a pair of gloves. She put a pair on and then offered the same to James.

James accepted the proffered mask and gloves. After fitting the mask over his mouth and nose, he pulled the gloves over his hands. However, he could help but think that under no condition would he be handling this body. As strange and not in control of the situation it made him feel, Lily was the medical personnel assigned to this case, and poking and prodding the body was her job, not his. Once they had secured their masks and gloves James and Lily walked the twenty or so feet to the metal table that held the black body bag.

Lily slowly unzipped the bag and opened it. She let out a gasp of horror. The only thing remotely human about it was its outline. The rest might as well have been file of decomposing flesh. This was definitely the worst she had ever seen. The entire skeletal structure; every bone had been broken at least once. Wait, she shouldn't have been able to see the bones...

"Oh my god," she said quietly, taking a step back as a wave a nausea washed over her.

James turned his head away quickly, fighting the need to retch. He had seen bad cases before, but never one this grotesquely mutilated. "Goddamn fucking bastards," James muttered in anger, hatred, and disgust.

Lily scowled at her husband. "James, Potter, mind what comes out of your mouth!" she shot at him, frowning. Then, she steeled her stomach and took a closer look at the body. Her examinations all pointed to one terrible conclusion. "I know the spell that did this. And it was no accident."

"Of course it wasnt an accident," James replied irritably.

He chanced another look at the body and realized that all of the bones were broken. "Someone really hated this poor soul," he added, feeling a sudden pang of sympathy and...fear.

"Or just wanted them in as much pain as possible before they died," said Lily in disgust, "And they did a very good job of it, too. Definitely male, judging by height and build. Six foot, probably close to 150, maybe 160 pounds..." She suddenly grew rather quiet. "This is the only time I've ever seen the effects of this spell," she murmured, feeling queasy again. "They only ever mentioned it in the restricted section at Hogwarts. Not even auror training covers this one."

James swallowed hard. "So...what is this curse? What does it do? What type or skill of wizard is likely to know how to perform it?"

"It's the Corporeus Extrosa curse," said Lily, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. The smell did nothing to make her feel any better. "It... it slowly turns the victim... inside out..."

James turned around and compulsively took several steps in the opposite direction. The smell that seemed to have permanently penetrated his nostrils and the thought of being turned inside out forced him to place all of his concentration on keeping his churning stomach from expelling its contents.

Lily shuddered. She closed the body bag and rolled the drawer shut with a snap. She took off her gloves and her mask and tossed them into a trash can. A small puff of smoke came from it as the contents was incinerated instantly.

"You'd better follow me back to my office. I want to keep this quiet. It'll cause a panic if anyone overhears," said Lily quietly to James as they stepped out of the morgue. She squeezed his hand. With a compressed feeling, they landed in her office a moment later. Lily sat down and put a shaking hand to her temples.

As soon as he felt his feet hit the floor in Lily's office, James set to pacing. A million questions were flying through his mind and he could not decide which ones to find the answers to first. The only wizard powerful or hateful enough to do this was Voldemort. So, what had the victim done and why was he important enough to be murdered personally by Voldemort?

James continued to pace, mulling all of these things over. They would need to bring in some choice wizards for interrogation.

"I'm going to have to disect the body in order to determine any kind of identity, but I can't promise anything. They body isn't holding up well, as you just saw. But even if I do manage to sort out the identity of the person, this has to stay low profile. The wizarding world would go into a state of panic, and we don't need any more of that right now," she said, looking up at him. She then looked down at her teacup. She really needed more tea. She tapped it with her wand and took a long draw from it.

James nodded and stood still for the first time since he had arrived in her office. "Alright, I need to go check up on an old "friend". Try to get your findings to me as soon as possible." James said distractedly, before disapparating.

He felt his feet hit the floor and immediately began walking briskly down the corridor. James grabbed a blood red piece of parchment out of his pocket and scribbled a note:

_To: Shroeder. See that Igor "Iggy" Mansford is waiting in the interrogation room in fifteen minutes. -Potter._

Then he pointed his wand at the piece of parchment which quickly folded itself into an airplane and zoomed off, knocking other less important memos out of its way.

Lily watched him disapparate, and then she did the same. Appearing in the St. Mungo's staff room, she found just who she was looking for.

"Bernice, get Gouche in here, stat."

One look at her face sent the nurse nearly running out of the room. Good. Now she was going to get down to business.

James headed to his office and set to transferring some of what he had seen to three, small flat mirrors. These would do, since neither he nor Lily had wanted to stay long enough to take pictures, and Lily would not have time to send him the pictures from the autotopsy by the time he talked to Iggy.

Fifteen minutes later, as James was leaving his office, a red paper airplane collided with his head.

_Sorry boss. No one down here can find him. I think he might have left the country. I sent a request to the Seeing room, but they're swamped. They said they would get on it as soon as possible._

James made a frustrated noise and crumpled the paper airplane in his fist. Well then, he would just have to find Iggy himself, and when he did, Iggy would wish he had stayed at home.

Throwing his black travelling cloak on and pulling the hood up over his head, James disapperated.


	2. Une Piste

**A/N: Here's Chapter 2!!! I know I know…_finally_. But hey…I'm in college now and well…better late than never. Alright so, it occurred to me that this story was written over a year ago…so please…take that into consideration. Also…please review. Thanks so much to iluvromnce, Delilah Evans, LilyPotter003, miss-mags-ak, Random irish girl. You guys make it all worth it and are the reason that I finally got of my rear and updated. Yay! Oh yes…one more thing…the title of this chapter "Une Piste" is French for A Clue. So yeah…enjoy!**

In twenty minutes, Lily and Ferdinand Gouche had already prepped for the autopsy. Gouche realized how important silence about this case was, and agreed without hesitation to keep it quiet. Lily grimaced at the sight of the body on the table. "Poor bastard," muttered Gouche, voicing Lily's thoughts. She picked up a scalpel. As much as she hated to do this, some things were best done without magic.

* * *

Instantly James found himself in a dark alley beside a pub in Japan. Iggy wasn't the brightest tool in the shed and he had been spotted here less than a week ago. James waited in the alley and listened for the sounds coming from inside the establishment. The door opened and a bell clanged as a couple of patrons headed out for the night. After all, it was nearly four o'clock in the morning here. As the door opened, James could here the distinct voice of one, Igor Mansford.

Pressing himself against the building and fading into the shadows, James waited.

* * *

Lily carefully started on the midsection, while Gauche bravely took the head. Lily was not about to complain.

"Ok, we basically need to be able to turn him right side out again, but only the skin is going to survive that, so we need to get tissue samples from all the major organs; stomach, intestines, liver, brain, the usual," said Lily, as though she did this every day.

As she began to cut through the flesh and skin within the now inversed body, she pulled it back. There was a scar... or... Lily looked closer... a tattoo. Of a... Lily squinted, and then shuddered... of a basilisk on the low abdomen.

"Ferdy," she said, pulling him over to her. "We have an identifying mark." Gouche peered at it, took a second look, and went deathly white.

* * *

James had only been lurking in the shadows for about ten minutes when the door opened again and Iggy stepped out onto the street. James heard the pub owner lock the door behind Iggy and a few seconds later the light that had been cast into the street by the windows was extinguished.

As Iggy stumbled by the entrance to the alley, James grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the alley. He got a tight hold on the front of Iggy's robes and pinned the somewhat rotund man against the wall. Iggy gasped and didn't seem to be able to make any kind of noise out of fear.

"No one told you you could leave the country, Iggy," James said dangerously, as he pulled back his hood, revealing his face. Iggy seemed to relax, but only marginally. "Goddammit, Potter. You scared the shit out of me!"

Iggy said, breathing heavily. "Good," James replied, bringing his wand out and pointing it at Iggy's throat. "Now, tell me what I need to know and we'll both make it back to Britain in one piece."

* * *

Finally, Lily made it back to the lab. It was late; most of the staff had gone home, at least those on day shifts. Lily was the only one left there, which was the way she wanted it. Even Gouche had gone, looking quite shaken. She made a mental note to have James check in on him later.

On second thought, maybe she'd just do that herself. She didn't want another murder on her hands. She added a few drops of a clear solution to one of the samples she had taken of the victim's blood.

It turned a murky blue. That was to be expected; she'd just taken all of the oxygen out of it. But a few moments later, it turned a pale green. Lily frowned. Nothing like that was supposed to happen. This meant only one thing. Her eyes went wide. She grabbed a piece of parchment and scrawled a note on it.

After that Lily apparated to James' office and left the note on his desk. Once she had left, the red letters shone out against the multitude of paper on his desk. "Potter, get your arse to my office, now!"

* * *

Iggy's eyes grew wide and he gulped several times. "I don't know anything. I haven't even been in the country..." he whined.

"Perhaps you left the country because you knew something was going to go down. Iggy, this doesn't look good for you. It really doesn't. Tell me what you know about this curse and why he used it."

Iggy stared wide-eyed at James for a few seconds. He briefly wondered if he shouldn't just apparate to the North Pole to keep from having to deal with Potter, but decided to make his plans another time.

Finally, Iggy took a deep breath and told the younger man everything he knew about what had happened in Edinborough.

Once he was satisfied that Iggy would not be going anywhere anytime soon, James followed up on one of the leads that Iggy had given him.

He apparated to India, where it was several hours after dawn, and spent the next four hours staking out one, Roald Zwieb.

James finally made it back to his office around eight o'clock Britain time, and flopped into his chair, exhausted. He made a note to go and have a talk with Roald tomorrow, and then noticed a small note. It was written in red ink and in a familiar scrawl. James picked up the note and, rolling his eyes, apparated to Lily's office.

Lily looked up as a familiar crack rent the air. She looked like she had the entire Potions lab at Hogwarts spread out in front of her, with different colored potions bubbling, evaporating, and condensing inside delicate glassware.

"Hello, love," she said, getting up and kissing him lightly. She noticed some sand on his shoulder and brushed it off. "Where on earth have you been? The Kalahari desert?"

"Close. India," James replied, surveying the plethora of multi-colored, bubbling and steaming potions in the room. "And what are you doing? Trying to blow up Great Britain?" he asked, doing his best to give her a joking smile.

He walked over to a chair and sat down, rubbing at his face, which was gray and tired. Through his traveling he had spent roughly fourteen hours working today, but only nine hours had passed in Britain. He sighed and rubbed at the faint lines that he knew where creasing his forehead.

"Only Remus could manage that, darling," she said, grinning at him. Remus had always been abysmal at potion-making. "No, I'm testing samples that I took in the lab. Look at this."

She held out a small vial of violently green liquid. "You know what that is?" she asked excitedly, her eyes still trained on her potions, stirring, adding ingredients and stoppering samples.

James coughed slightly as she thrust the violently green and rather rancid smelling liquid in his face. "No, dear. I can't say that I do," he replied. "Should you be in here, breathing in all of these fumes?" James asked concernedly, trying to suppress another cough.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, James. If something in here was dangerous, I wouldn't be in here, and I CERTAINLY wouldn't have let you in here. What kind of lover leads her darling into danger?" she asked, smiling coquettishly at him.

"No. But this," she shook the vial, "It actually human blood."

"That's funny. It doesn't look at all human to me," James said, eyeing the vial suspiciously. "What happened to it?"

Lily absentmindedly waved her wand and the smells in the room vanished. "I tested it for oxygen content. And it turned blue, as it's supposed to, but then, it turned this color. That means only one thing," Lily said, her eyes widening excitedly.

"Will you just spit it out, sweetheart? Please, I'm tired and my patience is wearing thin," James said, putting a hand over his eyes. He hated having to deal with people like Iggy. It put him in a foul mood for days.

"It means," Lily began, putting the vial down and sitting down next to him, "that there was more than one person after this man. He was poisoned as well." She looked rather pleased with herself. "I think that's what activated the Inverting spell that killed him. It was in something he ate or drank, or even something he breathed in. But that means the charm had to have been placed on him at least 48 hours in advance, according to Thorton's Latent- Curse Maturing Law!"

"Great," James muttered, ignoring the fact that Lily had just cited an obscure potions law. "This means that it could have been anyone. It could have been his mother under the imperious curse, or his cat that had been dusted with the stuff..."

James heaved a heavy sigh and lost himself in who the possible culprit could have been.

"Not quite," said Lily. She grinned at him in anticipation, and then got up. "Your brilliant wife managed to separate out the ingredients in another blood sample. I was only able to get two out, but even that was an achievement, considering the state of the body." She grabbed a vial and a very old looking tome from her desk. "I managed to trace the ingredients to one potion."

She opened Moste Potente Potions to page 72 and turned it to face him. "This is the only potion with the same two ingredients that have the same effects when combined."

"What potion is that, and who knows how to make it?" James asked, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly as his "brilliant wife" turned to face him carrying Moste Potente Potions.

"That potion is Invertias, and only someone with particular interest in the dark arts and access to some highly illegal ingredients would know how to make it. See for yourself. Most of the ingredients are Class A Non-Tradable substances."

She handed him the large tome, open to the page that listed the ingredients to Invertias.

James skimmed the ingredient list and, sure enough, most of them were either Class A Non-Tradable substances or Class B Non-Tradable substances. "Hmm...who do we know...easy to beat out..." James mused to himself. This definitely narrowed the number of individuals who may have brewed the potion.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Lily asked, looking at him in some concern. "Did the heat in India get to your brain?" she teased suddenly, sticking her tongue out at him.

"No, no," he muttered distractedly. "I'll definitely be able to dig up a few leads with this information." James handed the book back to her. "Thanks. See you at home." And with that, he disapparated.

Lily was a little miffed. James had rather brushed her off. She rolled her eyes in frustration. With a wave of a wand less hand, all of the potions vanished, and the glassware stowed itself neatly in a cupboard. She gathered her things, including the case file, and disapparated toward home.


	3. Unexpected Suspicions

**A/N: Yay for finals being over and having a bit more time to update!!! So..kudos to those of you who are reading and reviewing and well...:-P to those of you who aren't lol. Anywho, please keep the reviews coming. I really like to have feedback and I like to hear what you guys like and don't like. Okay, now that that's over...THANK YOU to Little Flower Princess, MarauderQueen, krizue, Tinn Tam, and Holy Cross Baby for reviewing the last chapter. And now, without any further ado, here is chapter three. Enjoy!**

After apparating out of Lily's office, James found himself prowling silently down Knockturn Alley, his hood pulled close about his face. It was nearly nine thirty and the alley was deserted. Before stepping into the shop, James performed a type of wand less magic that he had been taught as an auror in training. Very few wizards were trained in it and no wizard who had not shown at least a slight natural aptitude for wand less magic had ever mastered it. James waved his hand in front of his face, concentrating hard. Then he opened the door and quietly slipped into the shop.

"Good Evening," a voice, much lower than his own and tinged with a Russian accent, issued from James' throat. "I was told you might be able to help me locate...ah...some items." The shopkeeper eyed him suspiciously for a moment, but after some consideration seemed to decide that James was a potential customer and no threat.

"How can I help you, Mr...?"

"That's not your concern. Not yet," James replied. "I need to know if you can supply me with these ingredients," he said, pushing a scrap of parchment across the counter.

"Well, I'm going to have to get some more of these ingredients from my supplier. I sold the last of the dragon scale a few days ago."

"Really?" James asked, trying not to sound too overly interested. "I wonder who else would be daring enough to try and buy such ingredients on the black market," he remarked casually.

"Oh, that Dolohov is quite the shady figure, of course we get lots of those types here..."

"Barry," an angry voice barked from the back of the shop, "What have I told you about that? Get in the back!"

The man hissed his last command and kicked the younger man in the shin as he walked by. After he had quickly glanced over the list, the new man continued in a strict business tone. "It will take me two weeks to secure these items. Do you want then delivered to your house?"

"No. That won't be necessary. I'll come back for them then."

With that James swept out of the shop, did his usual multiple apparition points and then apparated to a safe point three miles outside of Godric's Hollow. After checking to make sure that he wasn't being followed James apparated to the corner of the street that he and Lily now lived on. He walked quietly down the empty dark street, his footsteps echoing. He unlocked the door of the house and stepped into the dark entryway. After locking the door back, he remembered to take his disguise off and removed his cloak, hanging it beside the door.

Lily heard James' footsteps enter into the drawing room, and snapped her fingers. The nearest lamp clicked on, revealing her in her nightdress, arms folded over her chest, and a less than happy look on her face.

"And just where have you been?" she demanded, giving him look that would give a banshee lock-jaw.

"Lily, I really don't have time for this," James sighed, walking over to the desk and pulling out a piece of parchment, a bottle of ink, and a quill.

Lily got up from her seat. "I think I have a right to know! Where were you?" she asked forcefully. She was so afraid. He had been working such odd hours for several weeks and never telling her what he was doing or where he was going. Lily desperately hoped that her fears were unfounded and that they were due to the fact that she was pregnant and her hormones were running wild. She wanted to know, but she didn't want to know. If he confirmed her suspicions, her heart would break.

"Please, Lils...You look tired. You should go to bed. I have a lot of work to do," he said, turning back to the desk, not noticing the expression on her face, and scribbling some notes on the piece of parchment.

"Tonight put me behind," he muttered quietly to himself, pondering the reactions of the shopkeeper and his assistant.

Lily stopped. Her face fell. "James, please, where were you?" she asked quietly, almost pleadingly, laying a hand on his arm. One fear was foremost in her mind. It was totally irrational, but she couldn't help but remember how he was with women... back at Hogwarts...

"C'mon Lils, I..." James trailed off as he turned around and saw the look on her face. "What's the matter, Lily? What does it matter where I was? Are you okay?" he asked his concern for her showing through his mask of exhaustion.

"N-nothing," she stammered, trying to keep herself from tearing up. "Nothing. I'm... I'm fine." She turned and walked into the kitchen sinking down at the table. Her eyes were burning. He wouldn't tell her. Why? Her mind was flashing one irrational fear: was he being unfaithful to her?

They had been through so much already and now she was pregnant. Was he afraid of what that meant? Was he looking for a woman who wasn't constantly on the verge of tears or screaming at him almost all the time that they were together? Or…was he simply tired of her? Lily's heart ached at the thought, though a small voice in her mind told her that her fears were unfounded.

James shook his head in confusion as Lily walked into the kitchen. Was this just more hormones? He finished writing a letter to Barrington and whistled loudly. Their gray owl, Apollo, swooped into the room and landed on the desk.

"Take this to Barrington," he said quietly and watched as Apollo swooped out of an open kitchen window. After doing his best to rub the exhaustion out of his eyes and keep himself awake, James walked quietly into the kitchen and began making himself a cup of very strong tea.

"I know you're not "fine", Lily. What's wrong? You've been acting strange lately."

Lily hastily shoved away a tear. "I've been acting strange? You're the one who disappears in the middle of the night without telling me where you're going!" Lily shot at him, her eyes burning worse than ever. She dropped her voice.

"Please tell me where you were..." she said, not looking at him. He'd just sent an owl out, but she hadn't caught the name. She was rather under the impression that he'd muttered it on purpose. This did not ease her fears in the least.

"I really don't understand why you need to know where I was Lily. To be frank, I'd rather not tell you," he said, walking the few steps to the dishwasher, checking to see that it was full of dirty dishes, and turning it on while continuing to take large gulps of tea. Then, he turned and leaned against the counter waiting for her reply and trying not to doze off.

"James," said Lily, seeing that she wouldn't be able to get that out of him, "If you were... were with someone else..." she couldn't finish. She choked on her words and fought back tears, but she was fighting a losing battle.

James spluttered slightly on his tea then frowned deeply and stared at her. "What?" he finally asked, sure that in his haze of tiredness he had wrongly heard what the love of his life had just said.

"Please don't make me say it again," Lily said, the words making her throat hurt. "Please." She put her face in her hands. Please, God, no. This couldn't end like this. She wouldn't survive without him...

James closed the distance between them in two strides and, wrapping his fingers around her upper arms, pulled her to her feet. "Lily, look at me," he commanded in a serious tone.

Lily didn't look up. Instead, she looked aside, unable to meet his eyes. She was in so much pain. This couldn't be real. The tone of his voice scared her. He sounded angry.

"Look at me, Lily," James repeated hooking a finger under her chin and tilting her head up so that she was forced to meet his eyes. When their eyes finally met, hers were bloodshot and showed distinct signs of crying.

"Lily Evans Potter, I love you. More than one person should be able to love another. I love you so much that sometimes it hurts," James said calmly and evenly. "But it also hurts me that you could think something like that," he added, frowning slightly.

"I love you too," Lily started. "But you never tell me anything anymore. You come home late at night and won't tell me where you've been! What am I supposed to think, James?" she asked tearfully.

"You're supposed to trust me, just like I trust you," James replied smoothing his thumb lightly over her cheek. "I have to work, and I would rather you didn't know where I went. I go undercover a lot, Lily, and I don't want anyone to trace any of those identities through you or vice versa."

"James, you can't protect me this time. I'm heading the forensics of this case. I'm in as much danger as you are. If not because I'm your wife, then because I'm your partner; where were you?" she asked, her mind feeling as though a great burden had been lifted from her. But she was still concerned. Where had he been for over two hours? He had said he would meet her at home.

James sighed and let go of her; turning around to walk several steps away to the other side of the kitchen. "I can see you're not going to let this go," he muttered, placing his hands on top of one of the counters and leaning heavily on it. "I was at Maldovers. You know, the potion shop several doors down from Borgin and Burkes." James said finally. The feeling of the place seemed to cling to him, like cigarette smoke, except much fouler.

An expression of dawning comprehension lit up Lily's face. "Did you find out anything there?" she asked, feeling it better to save her scolding until after she got the information she wanted out of him.

"Yes, I did. I know who bought the ingredients, though I don't know if he is the one who brewed the potion or if he slipped our victim the poison," he said rubbing his temples as he felt what was surely the beginnings of a migraine.

"Sit down," said Lily. "I'm putting on some tea. You look like you could do with some more." She tapped the kettle on the stove. Steam issued from it, and Lily poured it over some tea leaves and into two mugs.

James obeyed, glancing at the clock hanging on the wall. It was nearly two. He wasn't sure about Lily, but he knew that he had to be at work by seven the next morning, and he wondered if he would even be able to get up in the morning.

Lily took out her wand and stirred the contents of both cups with it. She handed one to James, and seated herself next to him putting her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said, looking up at him. "I don't know why I even thought..."

James nodded in the silence that followed, immediately regretting it as a bolt of pain seared his head. That wand less magic really took it out of him. He took a few sips of tea and felt surprisingly better. As his nerves settled and the silence drew on, James found himself beginning to doze.

"James, darling?" said Lily, gently nudging him. "You're falling asleep sitting up." She chuckled quietly. "We both ought to..." she was cut off by a huge yawn, "get to bed," she finished, getting sleepily to her feet.

"I agree," James muttered sleepily, standing up, taking Lily's mug from her and placing both of their mugs in the sink. Then, wrapping and arm around her waist, he walked her back to the bedroom. After slipping on a pair of pajama pants, James pulled back the covers on the bed and settled in, sighing at the simple pleasure of a comfortable bed.

Lily didn't even bother to put on pajamas. Taking off her bathrobe, she slipped into bed in her underwear, not really caring all that much. It had just hit her how exhausted she really was. She shimmied over next to him, snuggling against his chest.

James only had time to breathe in the familiar scent of her hair, before utter exhaustion took over and he fell asleep, cradling Lily in his arms.


	4. More Than Just Partners

**A/N: Hey all! Merry Christmas! This update is my present to you and I hope you'll comment me. Alright, in this chapter not a lot in the way of plot occurs but I do finally earn that M rating. So….if you are sensitive to such things, which I assume you're not cause you started reading the story in the first place, then you might want to skip the last part of this chapter. Oh and by the way, I had wanted James and Lily's first rated M encounter to be a bit sweeter and I'll just say it...mushier, but things just worked out this way and far be it for me to try and tell James and Lily when and where to be intimate...lol. Thanks again to those of you who commented! Have a great holiday!**

Lily was the first one to wake in the morning. She looked groggily over James' shoulder at the alarm clock. It was 8:45. She flopped back down on the bed. She didn't go on shift for another two hours. But... "James!" she said suddenly. "Wake up, love!"

James groaned sleepily and rolled over to face her. "Huh?" he asked, confused and not entirely awake.

"James, you're late for work," she said, still dazed a bit from just waking up.

"What?! Dammit!" James rolled over quickly and promptly fell on the floor. He struggled against the sheets that imprisoned him, and finally managed to free himself and head into the bathroom.

Lily laughed as James caught himself in the sheets and tumbled out of bed. "James, slow down! You'll hurt yourself!"

"Can't slow down. Very, very late," James said through a mouthful of toothpaste. After jumping in the shower for a total of about two minutes, he threw on his work clothes, he decided he could do without shaving today, and rushed out to the study. Then, a few moments later he rushed back into the bedroom and kissed Lily thoroughly.

"See you later," he called as he nearly ran back into the study and traveled by floo to his office.

Lily squealed as he kissed her very thoroughly and unexpectedly. Well, at least the man had his priorities in line. "Love you!" she called, sitting up with her arms around her knees, giggling as she watched James tear back through the house. She got out of bed and pulled on her bathrobe, shaking her head. What was she going to do with that man?

James stepped out of the fireplace in his office and walked over to his desk. Not surprisingly there was a note there.

Potter. My office. Now.

James groaned, turned around and stepped back into the fireplace to emerge in Barrington's office.

"Yes sir. You wanted to see me?" James asked consciously trying to flatten his still wet hair.

"Damn, Potter. You look like hell," Barrington barked in his usual gruff tone. "Yes sir. Anything else, sir?"

"You're a right smart-ass. You know that, Potter?" Barrington said, eyeing James. "But you've got balls," the older man added, the corners of his mouth twitching. "I only have a few aurors who would voluntarily venture into Knockturn Alley these days, much less interrogate one of the shopkeepers there. I'm impressed."

Lily, fully dressed, took floo powder and, upon addressing it, stepped into the large hearth. Green flame erupted around her, and with a blur, she was off. A minute and a half later, she landed on Sergeant Barrington's grate, brushing soot from her shoulder as she stepped out of the fireplace.

"Barrington, I'm here with an updat- Oh!" she said, her eyes flickering from her husband, whose hair was only half-dry, to Barrington. "It seems you've already been updated then."

"No, actually, Evans. Well, I suppose Potter now, but I just can't get used to it," Barrington said, grinning at her. "Anyway, no, I've just been admiring your husband. He must be hung like a horse to go down Knockturn Alley late at night for interrogations." "Yes, well," said Lily, shooting her husband a look. "I'll be having a word with him about that myself."

James tried his best but could not help but blush at his commanding officers comment. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and slightly irritably as both Barrington and Lily looked toward him.

"Well, um. I found out who bought the ingredients, Antonin Dolohov. I'm certain he is a Death Eater and could easily have passed along the ingredients to someone skilled enough to produce the potion."

Lily pushed her way in before James could go on. "It's Invertia, Sergeant. Rather a gruesome mix of potion and spell work. The victim can ingest it and have it in his system for up to two weeks, giving the spell caster more than sufficient time to find the perfect moment to strike."

"Which means that we don't have a lot to go on to figure out who actually did it. Except for beating it out of some people and making other people slip," James said, trying not to look at Lily. Somehow his usual methods of gaining information from people made him feel like a bully when he spoke about it around Lily.

Lily eyed her husband suspiciously before continuing, "I'm going to take some more samples later today and do a little more research on the potion. I still haven't IDed the victim yet, but if I do, you'll be the first to know," Lily told Barrington.

Barrington looked from Lily to James and back again before saying, "I can tell who wears the pants in this family. Very well, Evans. Potter, don't be late, or you'll risk my boot up your ass, although this fine young woman will probably do a better job of it than me, by the looks of things." Lily snorted with laughter as she turned to leave Barrington's office. Barrington caught James's eye and winked as James too turned to leave. It was a familiar and friendly gesture intended to communicate that Barrington thought James had his hands full with his wife, but James frowned as Barrington's office door closed behind him. Barrington was _never_ that familiar with anyone. As far as James had seen, Barrington wasn't even that familiar with Mrs. Barrington. Something about that tiny gesture boded ill for James and he made sure to file it away were it could be quickly referenced.

James entered his office and walked over to his desk as he and Lily emerged from the elevator. Since they weren't in quite as huge a rush after meeting with Barrington, they had decided to take the normal method of transportation for the Ministry.

After searching through a couple draws, slamming each of them when he didn't find what he was looking for, James pulled out a piece of blank parchment, and a rather well used quill. He scrawled a note to Jack and sent it flying from the room, then started trying to sort through the piles of parchment on his desk, all the while ignoring Lily.

It wasn't something he was doing on purpose, or at least, not entirely on purpose. He was still distracted by Barrington's somewhat odd behavior. The man had always been gruff, but something was different…

Lily surreptitiously locked the door behind the memo as it exited the room. "Well, Barrington was right about one thing," she said. She moved behind him. Bending down, her lips very close to his ear, she whispered, "You are hung like a horse." She then backed away quickly, a rather smug smile on her face.

James raised an eyebrow at her incredulously, all thoughts of Barrington wiped from his mind. He then turned back to filling out a form shaking his head.

"Lily, I'm not in the mood to defile my office today. We have a hell of alot of work to do," he said with a wry smile, placing a stack of finished forms on a bookshelf, before turning his attention to more of the unfinished pieces of parchment.

"Alright then," she said, nipping playfully at his earlobe. "But my offer still stands," she whispered in his ear.

"And _my _office is spotless." Lily disapparated to her own office leaving an echoing giggle in her wake.

James sighed and put down his quill, before leaning back in his chair.

_Who did Dolohov give the ingredients to? Did that person poison the victim? Who is the victim? Was Lily really serious about what she'd said? Did the person Dolohov gave the ingredients to...? Did that person...? I wonder if Lily is wearing that... Who was the victim?_

James shook his head vigorously. He had asked himself the same questions repeatedly. For a short (compared to James) skinny girl, Lily could draw quite a lot of attention when she wanted to, James mused.

James was roused out of his pondering by a knock on the door. Pointing his wand at it, he unlocked the door and let Jack in.

"I got that book you asked for, sir," Jack said, setting the book down on the desk, as well as another rather large pile of forms.

"Thanks Jack," James said dully. "Jack, I'm probably going to be out of my office for most of the day today. Can you forward messages to my house please?" James asked, eyeing his watch and wondering if he might find one of Dolohovs "friends".

"Sure," Jack said, before heading out of James's office and closing the door behind him. James reached for another form, signed it, reached for another form, then threw his quill down in frustration. _Damned distracting woman!_

James apparated to Lily's office, took one step, and pressed his lips firmly against hers.

Lily was totally (albeit delightedly) caught off guard. "I thought... you had lots of work to do," she said breathlessly, pulling back a fraction of an inch.

"Well, I've got...about...twenty minutes," he said between kisses.

"Let's make the best of it then," Lily said breathlessly, before her lips collided with his again in a frenzy of windswept kisses.

"We should...probably...lock the...door," James breathed between kisses as he tugged at the fastenings on her pants.

Lily flicked her wand hastily at the door. "Colloportus!" The doorway sealed itself. "I knew you just couldn't resist," said Lily, grinning like a vixen at him.

"You know me too well," James whispered as he undid the fastening on her pants and let them fall to the floor. Kissing her fiercely, he put his hands on her hips, lifted her up and set her on her desk.

Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her fingers in his unruly black hair and kissing him desperately. This was going to be hard and fast, just the way she liked it. The anticipation sent a thrill up her spine as he set her up on her desk. She reached behind her and swept off the few papers that were on its surface, sending them fluttering to the floor.

James kissed her desperately, reaching for his belt at the same time. His blood was hot in his veins as their lips continued to collide. How did she manage to drive him absolutely crazy?

Lily had to lean backwards onto her desk under his kisses, hastily pulling him on top of her and impatiently pulling his belt from his waistband. She ran her hands down his sides and pulled his shirt off over his head, letting her hands roam over his bare skin.

James sighed as her fingers moved over his skin. He smoothed his fingers over her face and neck, placing kisses along her jaw-line.

Lily shuddered as his lips moved lower and lower down her neck. She felt a surge of warmth flow through her body as her skin became flushed and her heart began to pound. She arched her back against him, pressing her body to his desperately.

James deftly unzipped his pants and shifted the garments that were still between them out of the way. He wondered for a moment at the interesting situation that they were in, but he didn't spend much time pondering this as his heart was pounding heavily in his ears and his breath was catching in his throat.

James ran a couple of fingers down the inside of Lily's thigh, telling her, without a shadow of a doubt, that he wanted her, now.

Lily made a purring sound and opened her thighs eagerly for him. She took his face in her hands and brought his lips down onto hers, kissing him greedily. Raw passion infused every inch of her, heated by his lips, his wandering hands, his breath hot on her mouth.

James returned her kisses, feeling his love and passion flow through them as well as the heat rising in every inch of his body. As Lily complied, and spread her legs, he wasted no time. Lining their hips up, James drove forward eagerly, excitedly; glad for the leverage that the hard desktop offered as Lily's hips were pinned between him and the desktop.

Lily barely had time to register that the desk wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world to lie on before James pushed forward hard into her. She let out a little moan of discomfort as James roughly pinned her to the desk but the sound was laced with the promise of pleasure, which turned into a purr of satisfaction as she looked up into his face, her eyes darkened with lust.

James stifled a moan as thrust forward, this time harder, again pinning Lily to the desk. He supposed that the less noise they made, the smaller chance that someone would wonder what was going on and come to investigate. James placed his hands on the corners of the desk, right above Lily's head, and curled his fingers around the edge, giving himself more leverage. He let out a low growl and pushed forward again.

If he hadn't been in such a frenzied state he may have realized that Lily would probably end up with bruises from this particular tryst. But, as it happens, he was in a very frenzied state, and he didn't notice.

Lily had to bite her lip hard to keep from crying out as James thrust forward roughly again, causing shockwaves of pleasure to play themselves up and down her body. Feeling rather wanton, she let her hand slide down her own body, between them, touching herself. She gasped loudly as the tension intensified sharply.

James was not at all sure what to think as Lily slid her hand down between their bodies. However, as she gasped in pleasure, James felt the slight tension in his lower abdomen and pelvis intensify. He moaned quietly and pulled away from her. Then with another low, guttural growl, James drove roughly forward again, using his grip on the desk for leverage and slamming Lily's lower back into the hard desktop under his weight.

Lily really did cry out this time. The pleasure was so intense she could barely stand it.

"Please, James, faster," she whimpered, panting hard. Her body was flushed, she could feel the tension building and building until she wasn't going to be able to take much more.

James was happy to comply, after he had pinned both of Lily's wrists above her on the desk. He began to push harder and faster, feeling the tension in his body mount as well as the tension in hers. For a few moments the only sounds that filled the small office were their heavy breathing, low moans, and the dull "thud" of their bodies repeatedly hitting the desk.

Then James, suddenly determined to make Lily writhe with pleasure, pulled back and changed his angle before roughly and relentlessly grinding their hips together.

Lily gasped and started as James ground into her, which made the tension and pleasure become unbearable.

"Oh god, James," she whimpered, her head falling back against the desk. She never even noticed that she'd hit it rather hard. She gave up all hope of keeping quiet. It was impossible.

James stifled their moans by covering Lily's mouth with his own as the tension in his body threatened to overcome him. Then Lily whimpered his name into his mouth, and James felt himself lose control. His muscles tightened as his mind reeled, as he lost sense of what was going on.

"Oh, Lily," he moaned as quietly as was humanly possible, doing his best to keep moving his hips with hers until she too climaxed.

Lily cried out as white light flashed behind her eyes and a glorious feeling of ecstasy and completion filled her body. When she finally opened her eyes again, she lay there, panting, spent and totally satisfied. She grinned up at him, chuckling, and pushed away some of the hair that clung to his brow.

"Well, your hair certainly looks much more believable now," she teased breathlessly.

James chuckled and smiled down at her, panting.

"So does your office," he commented, gazing around the once tidy office. "I love you, Lily," he whispered, pushing a stray lock away from her face and kissing her tenderly.

"I love you too, but we'd better get dressed before someone begins to suspect..." She made to get up, but James stayed resolutely on top of her. "James!" She said, although she was smiling. "Let me up!"

James grinned wickedly at her. "No, I don't think I will," he breathed, kissing her firmly and slipping his tongue into her mouth.

Lily pulled back. "James! People are going to start to suspect us!" she whispered, looking a little embarrassed and turning pink, trying to wiggle out from under him.

James pushed his hips forward firmly, pinning Lily in place and keeping her from escaping. "Yes, but I've still got seven minutes," he said, checking his watch, "and I'm not finished with you yet." James moved his lips over her neck, sucking wetly at her skin and rolling his hips forward slowly, almost as though it was an accident.

Lily whimpered at the sensations, but stopped him for a moment. "Do you really think you can pull it off in seven minutes?" she asked, arching a skeptical eyebrow at him.

"What do you think?" James whispered huskily in her ear as he thrust forward sharply and then lay still again.

Lily let out a small moan, her fingers finding the edges of the desk and curling around them, clenching them as the sensation finally subsided.

James continued to trail wet kisses down Lily's neck as he rolled his hips forward at an excruciatingly slow pace, again and again; whispering in her ear, kissing her lips, still pushing slowly forward again and again.

Lily whimpered and moaned as the sensations sharpened. It was sheer, blissful torture. Her fingers became white from clutching the edges of her desk. Her head reeled. All that mattered was that he kept going.

James moaned quietly as he continued his slow pace, drawing out the tension he knew was building in her body. He bit her neck lightly and slowly began to increase his pace. Sliding his hands down her sides he let them rest on her hips. He held her hips still on the desktop and pulled slowly away from her for several moments, letting her anticipation build before sliding slowly forward again, groaning slightly at the sensation.

Lily let out a wonderful little sob of ecstasy, before James brought her over the edge again, trembling against his body as the huge wave broke over her. She could hardly breathe for the first few moments. Even as the sensation began to ebb, her body shivered from the wonderful prolonged contact.

James moaned quietly as Lily writhed and trembled beneath him.

"See, plenty of time," he muttered, kissing her lightly before finally pulling back and releasing her.

Lily smiled at him, her pulse still racing. "I'm impressed," she said, sitting up and looking around for her underwear.

"Good," James said, already zipping up his pants, and grinning roguishly at Lily. He walked back over to Lily and offered her her underwear.

"Looking for these?" he asked, leaning in and kissing her lightly.

Lily gave him an amused and slightly accusatory look as she tried to take her underwear from him. But just as she went to take them, he lifted them out of reach.

"James!" she said, scandalized. "Give those back!"

"No...I don't think I will," James replied as he straightened his shirt. Then, grinning wickedly at his wife, he stuffed the small lacey things in his pocket and disapparated.

Lily gaped indignantly at him for a moment, but didn't even have time to protest before he disapparated. He was so infuriating! Not that she minded all that much. One more thing on her side when they got home. She rolled her eyes and pulled on her slacks, buttoning them back up. Then, she sat at her desk and got back to work.


	5. In Which James Recieves a Message

**A/N: Hey everyone! I'm really sorry for the lack of updates. My grandma passed away in January and it has been really hard for me to do much of anything. I do really enjoy getting back to this though. Anywho…lots of action in this chapter. Hope you enjoy it. Oh yeah, and thanks to everyone who reviewed! They really make my day.**

James found himself in a deserted back alley in one of Capchens slums. This was a dangerous area, and he made sure that his hood was pulled close about his face. Across the street from the alley was a small wizarding pub. James decided that he should not need a disguise if he stuck to his plan, and knew that at this point it would be hard for him to summon the proper amount of concentration to disguise himself anyway as thoughts of Lily continued to float unexpectedly through his mind.

James strode casually into the small establishment, ordered a fire whiskey and made himself comfortable at a table in a shadowy corner. He had a feeling that Dolohov would be coming this way sometime in the next few hours, and his hunch soon paid off. Dolohov meandered into the bar, ordered a drink and made himself comfortable. James was patient and waited for Dolohov to finish his drink, and his flirting with a rather attractive blonde witch, then waited for him to leave. When the other man stood and made his way to the door, James quietly followed.

Outside, in the now darkening street, James could not believe his luck when Dolohov turned to go into a deserted alley. So convinced was James that this was his lucky day, and that he would catch Dolohov; he failed to stop and think about the situation that faced him. He followed Dolohov down the deserted alley and was within a few paces of the man before it hit him.

'It's a trap!' he realized suddenly. He turned and was about to apparate when a large fist came in contact with the side of his head. The force of the blow, made him stumble sideways and hit the alley wall, stunning him. James shook his head against the stars that were exploding in front of his eyes, and his wand was out before his attackers could draw another breath.

"Crucio," James heard a cold, harsh, familiar female voice say. He brought his wand up, but it was too late to cast a shield around himself. Every nerve in his body felt like it was being torn from his flesh, and his wand slipped out of his fingers as he yelled in pain.

"Quiet," hissed another cold familiar voice, this one male, "Someone will hear him." Almost immediately it felt as though an invisible hand clamped over James's mouth, muffling his yells. The horrible, bone wrenching pain continued for another solid thirty seconds, though it felt like an eternity.

After a few more moments, the pain that was tearing through James's body seemed to dissipate and he lay panting on the ground, groping for his wand. His fingers closed over the wood, but a boot came down on his hand, crushing his fingers against the pavement and making it impossible to wield his wand.

Another of his attackers, there seemed to be four plus Dolohov, kicked him savagely in the stomach. The others joined in, repeatedly kicking and punching James. James lashed out at them when he could with well placed kicks or punches, but it was very difficult to move, much less gain the upper hand on several attackers. James coughed and spluttered blood onto the cold gray concrete, his mind racing, trying to think of some way out of this predicament. One of the Death Eaters aimed a kick at James's face, but James's brought his arm up to protect himself. James did manage to protect his face, but he earned himself a painful crunch as his wrist broke. James bit his bottom lip to muffle his yell of pain.

"That's enough. Let's see who it is that Barrington sent to track us down," the female voice said, and James felt someone haul him to his feet to the sound of malicious laughter from several of the group members. All of his attackers were wearing opaque black masks with slits for eyes, and the only reason that he could identify the female was that he had seen those eyes before.

They were the same eyes that James saw every time he looked at his best friend; except where Sirius' eyes were filled with laughter, this woman's were filled with hatred. A hand gripped the back of his hood and pulled it off of his head.

"Ha!" Bellatrix shrieked in derision. "It's Potter! They sent ickle Potter to twy and catch us!"

"Hello, Bellatrix," James replied coolly.

"Oo, smarter than he looks, this one," Bellatrix said shoving him away from her.

James took stock of his surroundings and did not like what he saw. He was surrounded, and outnumbered five to one. A picture of Lily's face flashed fleetingly through his mind, and he clenched his teeth, setting his jaw stubbornly.

"You're smarter than you look too, Bellatrix. Otherwise you would be growing moss," James replied somewhat recklessly.

Bellatrix's eyes narrowed in anger. She brought her hand up and slapped James hard across the face. Then Bellatrix pulled her arm back and slapped him again. James shifted his jaw trying to dissipate the stinging that filled the left side of his face.

"Control yourself, Bella," the cold male voice said, grabbing her wrist to stop her from hitting James again.

So far, James's plan to keep them talking was working, but he could not help but pray that a stroke of inspiration would hit him soon. The owner of the cold male voice, whom James now recognized as Lucius Malfoy, approached him.

"What a young and reckless fool you are, Potter. To think that you could stop us, or that we would not find out that you were following us. You forget," he said leaning very close to James's face, "we have spies everywhere. Even at your precious auror headquarters."

Malfoy drew back his fist, aiming to hit James directly in the eye, but James veered to the side at the last second, and Malfoy's fist made contact with the brick wall behind James. One of the huge Death Eaters who had not spoken yet advanced on James. They seemed to have forgotten that they were wizards and went for the physically overpowering approach.

James, however was smaller and faster than they were and landed a good hard kick on one of the wizards knee and he elbowed the other in the throat. A crack rent the air as James's well aimed kick shattered the other man's knee and the second wizard gasped for air though a partially crushed wind pipe.

Bellatrix shot a curse at James, and he threw himself to the ground. Picking up his wand, James rolled into a fighting stance, ignoring his broken wrist. As Bellatrix turned to face him, James made a quick slashing motion and a shallow cut appeared in her mask.

Bellatrix tore her mask off and put a hand to her bleeding cheek. She looked at James with pure hatred. James returned an infuriating look just as Malfoy turned and raised his wand in his left hand, as he had managed to crush all of the bones in his right.

"Avada...," Malfoy began, but he barely had time to finish the first part of the spell before James had disappeared. Despite his panic and the fear that still flooded his system, James apparated several different places before finally appearing back at Lily's office. He leaned against the wall and looked to where Lily was sitting at her desk.

"Hey, Lils," he said weakly, sliding down the wall and sitting heavily on the floor.


	6. An Unexpected Set Back

**A/N: Sorry about the wait, but HERE IT IS!!! Just in time for Easter too! Thanks for all of your reviews keep 'em coming please. I hope you enjoy this chapter (I personally enjoy the angst of this chapter lol).**

Lily had been finishing her report on the items found in the victim's blood when James apparated into her office with a loud crack. She jumped up, startled, and then she saw the state of him.

"Oh my god," she said, hurrying over to him and dropping to her knees. "What happened? You were attacked, weren't you?" she asked, her eyes wide and fearful.

She gently put a hand under his chin so she could inspect his face. "What did they do to you?" She was filled with anger and hatred toward those who had done this to the man she loved, but the most powerful emotion going through her was fear.

"I'm fine," James rasped. He licked his lips and found that there was blood on them. He had a split lip and he continued to cough up blood from being hit so hard in the stomach. "Okay, so maybe not quite _fine_," he said ruefully.

Lily conjured him a glass of water and handed it to him. Then she almost sprinted over to her desk and opened a large drawer. She pulled out a box and opened it. This was her personal first aid kit, which was far from the ordinary bandages and alcohol swabs. There were antidotes to several nasty poisons, veritaserum, among other things; more than enough specialized equipment to make even a head healer look twice.

Getting out a small cloth, ointment and other various things, she settled herself back on the floor in front of James. With a wave of her hand, a bowl of warm water appeared at her left knee. She soaked the soft cloth in it and started gently wiping blood off of his face. "Were you ambushed?"

"Yeah….it was my fault," James muttered through swollen lips. "But, I think I've found our culprits." He let his head fall back against the wall, and winced as a large bruise made itself known.

James coughed weakly, but it soon turned into a hacking cough. When his cough settled, James pulled his hand away from his mouth to reveal fingers that were coated in bright crimson. He caught the frightened look in Lily's eyes, and hastily took a drink washing the blood from his mouth.

Lily hadn't failed to notice that James was coughing up blood. She started to unbutton his shirt, being careful not to hurt him any more than he already was. He had been in worse shape before, but he was by no means in good shape now.

Lily finished unbuttoning his shirt and pushed it open. Sure enough, there was a massive contusion starting on his stomach. Obviously someone had taken it upon themselves to kick the living daylights out of him. Anger flooded her at the sight and thought of it.

"I'm going to kill them. All of them," she muttered darkly as she started applying the ointment to his bruises. "Does anything feel like it's broken?"

"I dont know," James answered truthfully. His whole body ached from being under the Cruciatus Curse and he could not tell where that pain ended and any other pain began.

"I'm alright, Lily. Really. I've had worse," he fought to stand up, but slid back to the ground, coughing again. "Well, at least I got what I was looking for," he said grinning slightly which turned into a grimace of pain.

"It's Malfoy, Bellatrix, Dolohov, and I'd bet my left leg, Crabbe and Goyle."

"You aren't going anywhere, not until I'm thoroughly convinced that you're able to manage it! Now, sit down, and stay down! And hold still," Lily said sternly. She checked his lips and under his eyes. They were badly bruised. "They used the Cruciatus, didn't they?"

James nodded and made to lift his left arm and give Lily's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, but he found that he could not move it. "My left arm's broken, Lils," he said frankly, settling back and sitting still, knowing that he could get word to Barrington as soon as Lily was finished.

Lily took his left arm and gently pressed on it, searching for broken bones. "Yep. In... three places. What in god's name happened??"

"Long story short...I found Dolohov, followed him, almost caught him, it was too good to be true, was ambushed, managed to escape, and now I'm back here," James replied, wincing as she pressed on his arm.

"By the way, I don't want you talking to or sending any notes to anyone at auror headquarters except for me and Barrington. There's a spy there. That's how they knew I was going to be there..." he trailed off, losing himself in thought.

Lily didn't like to hear that, but she nodded, understanding that it wasn't just her safety at risk anymore. "A spy?" she said quietly. "But who...? I thought it was impossible for them to get a spy in with the aurors... Episki," she muttered, waving a hand over one of the breaks, healing it instantly.

"We are running really low on personnel and they aren't screening the people who will just be working in the offices as rigorously as before. I know who it is, and I'm looking forward to dealing with him," James said darkly.

"D'you see this?" he asked Lily suddenly, indicating the red hand print on the right side of his face. "That's from Bellatrix. She couldn't _hand_le what I said about her," James began giggling rather uncharacteristically. Gods did his head hurt.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Never underestimate a woman. I thought I'd taught you that lesson." She healed his arm.

"You know who the spy is?" she asked quietly. If he knew, and did something rash, he could get himself killed.

"Yeah, don't worry. I'll take care of him," James said, staring off into space over her shoulder. "Her hands are bigger than yours," he commented randomly, as he closed his eyes and slipped out of consciousness.

Lily snapped her fingers in front of James' nose, forcing him to focus. "James, do you feel dizzy or sleepy at all?" she asked sharply. "You might have a concussion..." His eyes snapped open as Lily tried to get his attention.

"Kind of tired," he replied groggily, trying to focus on her face, but having trouble keeping his eyes open. The room, including Lily, was blurry and shifting sickeningly before his eyes. James mumbled something incomprehensible as his eyes closed again.

Lily took out her wand and put an Insomnius spell on him. "James, you can't fall asleep. You'll go into a coma and then…our child will never know his father! Do you understand me?!" she said very seriously.

James struggled to open his eyes. He saw Lily's face, inches from his, real fear shining in her eyes. His eyes met hers, and he clung to that, refusing to let go, refusing to go to sleep.

Lily's eyes were glazed with tears that she refused to let fall. She didn't want him to see her cry again. She gently brought a hand to his face and stroked his cheek with her thumb and kissed his bruised lips tenderly.

James felt her lips on his and brought his recently cured arm up, twining his fingers in the ends of her hair. "How is it that you keep saving my life, and I...I can't manage to do the same when you're in trouble?" he asked in a choked voice.

"Don't say that," Lily said tearfully. "You have saved me, even if you weren't there. All I could see was you. You were all that kept me from giving up hope. You have saved me more times than I can count, James. I love you." She put her other hand to his cheek, cupping his face in her hands, and gently rested her forehead against his, a stray tear coming loose and falling down her cheek.

"Don't cry, Lils. Please don't cry," James whispered over a growing lump in his throat. "I love you too. So much," he muttered, smoothing her hair and catching her lips lightly with his.

"I hate seeing you like this," Lily said, her voice relatively even, but another tear fell silently down her face as she spoke. "I wish I could stop it all from happening, or have it happen to me instead. I just can't bear to see you in pain..."

James put a finger to her lips, cutting her off. "Don't say that, Lily. I was doing my job. I know the risks, and I took them anyway. I'll just have to be more careful from now on that's all," he said, trying to sound as though this was a simple problem that had a simple solution.

"You? Careful?" chuckled Lily, although her voice wavered slightly. "You know how to be careful? I had no idea." She gave him a watery smile, looking deeply into his eyes.

James smiled weakly at Lily, and kissed her gently. He closed his eyes, relaxing as their lips met, not realizing as his mind relaxed too much and a dangerous sleep enveloped him.

Lily shook him a bit roughly once she noticed that he had gone unconscious. "James! JAMES!" she said, shaking him by the shoulders.

James was only vaguely aware of someone (Lily?) shaking him and yelling his name. He started to move, but his arms were so heavy, and he was so tired; tired of fighting, tired of the evil that he had to confront every day. He was just _tired_.

"Please, James, wake up," whispered Lily in his ear. "Please. I need you. Please, don't go. I love you! Come back to me, James!" she said, in tears again. She took his hand in hers and held it to her face. "Please, James," she said, nuzzling her face into his palm. "Please...


	7. Unwelcome Revelation

**A/N: Yay! New chapter! I hope you enjoy. Finals are almost over and I'll get to go home for the summer! And what that means for you is that I'll get to put together chapters more often, and thats just good for everyone. So yeah, here it is, enjoy. Oh, and thanks again to everyone who reviewed. I love reading the reviews and knowing that I'm entertaining someone, keep 'em comin'!**

Through the quiet and all encompassing darkness, James heard her voice. Tears, panic, fear, and love were there as she called to him. Lily.

He had to get to her. James struggled to move, but his body felt so heavy. His arms would not move, and his eyes would not open. Thick fog obscured his senses and he struggled desperately to free himself from its dark folds.

After what seemed like an eternity, James's eyes fluttered open, and he found himself looking at Lily, who was pressing her cheek against his palm. He lay there, leaning against the wall of Lily's office, watching his wife cry into his palm; unable to form words through his still clouded mind.

Then the realization hit him, he had come dangerously close to never waking up. The fact that he could come so close to death seemed to throw into sharp relief the fact that he was only mortal. With James's realization came a rush of fear.

How was he supposed to keep himself alive through this war, much less his wife and unborn child? What had he been thinking when he had asked Lily to have a child with him?

Lily looked up and saw that James's eyes were open. She threw her arms around him and murmured into his chest, "God, I thought, I thought...", but she couldn't finish. It was too horrible to think about.

"Can you stand?" she asked him anxiously. She needed to get him to the hospital.

"Yeah, no problem," he replied in a hollow voice, still lost in thought. He slowly stood, and immediately doubled over as his stomach felt like it was going to explode. After a few moments, and several deep breaths, James slowly straightened and managed a weak smile.

"See. Fine," he said trying not to grit his teeth from the pain as the color left his face.

"Yeah, fine my arse," said Lily as she slid under his arm to help support his weight. "We need to get you to St. Mungo's. Of course, I'm going to be overseeing things, so don't even try to refuse treatment again," she warned, her eyes flashing.

James nodded dully as she tried to help support his weight. Despite the pain from having the shit kicked out of him, James barely noticed their trip to the physical injury treatment ward. He was overcome by a new feeling; a feeling of fear that seemed to squeeze his chest so tight that it was hard to breathe.

He wondered why he had never been so afraid before. Was it just that he was young and had not thought of the consequences of his actions? And what the hell had he been thinking when he decided he was old enough to be a father?

What had they been thinking? He was not ready for this. James wondered if he could even keep himself alive long enough to meet his child. More importantly, could he keep Lily alive long enough to have the baby? Nothing was certain anymore.

Half an hour later, Lily had managed to get James onto a stretcher and into the hospital. He was in the Spell damage ward for the after-effects of the Cruciatus curse. He had been unnaturally quiet during his treatment and had not even protested when Lily fussed over details. That was just downright unnatural. Now, sitting by his bed, she was starting to worry.

"James?" she said quietly. "Is something wrong?"

James started as Lily called his name, and he turned to look at her. Her beautiful emerald eyes were worried, and there was a slight crease running across her fair forehead. "I'm fine...I'm...fine," he muttered, sitting up and staring into the space in front of his bed, unable to look her in the eye. "That word," he muttered irritably.

"That Goddamn WORD!" he yelled suddenly. He definitely was not "fine", but he did not know if he could bring himself to tell Lily what was really bothering him.

Lily jumped as James yelled, the worry in her eyes mixing with a little fear. "What?" she asked, startled. "James, you're not making any sense. What's wrong?" She stretched a placatory hand toward him.

James caught her wrist as she reached a hand to him. "Don't Lily. Just...don't," he said, letting go of her wrist and turning his face away from her, covering his eyes with a hand. How could he possibly tell her what he was thinking? James knew it would break Lily's heart to hear him express concern about their decision to have a baby.

Lily drew her hand back, looking hurt and startled by his response. "James, just tell me. You can tell me anything, you know that," she quietly urged.

James turned and looked at Lily, knowing that she was already startled and upset by his demand for personal space from her, he intended to tell her that it was something he would deal with himself and try not to upset her further, but as he opened his mouth all of the questions he had been asking himself tumbled from his lips.

"What were we thinking, Lily? What was I thinking? I talked you into it. What happens if one of us dies? Or, both of us for that matter? Will either of us even live long enough to see our baby?" As he finished speaking James turned his face away again, sure that he could not handle the look in Lily's eyes at these questions.

Lily's face went through a few different expressions from surprise, to pain, to clouded fear and anxiety, and then finally to a resigned uncertainty. "Oh James," Lily sighed. She had thought he might be struggle with the same question she had asked herself a million times over.

"First of all, you didn't 'talk me into' anything. I've wanted to have a family ever since I can remember, and I did it because I love you. Secondly, we WILL live to see our baby, if I have any say in it. You're too strong…we're too strong together, to let it be any other way. James, you can't worry about these things. What happens will happen. But we can't let fear govern our actions. What if we were both killed before we even had a chance to try to have children. Think about what we would have missed out on. We have to live life now, James. I love you, and I want to have your children. I want to raise a family with you, grow old with you, and die with you. James, you're my life."

James sighed and stared intently at his hands, his elbows resting on his knees as he sat in the hospital bed. She was right of course, they could not let the evil in their lives keep them from actually living, but there was still something about it that made James feel as though they were acting irresponsibly.

It was a strange feeling since he had spent most of his time at Hogwarts acting irresponsibly, but when it came to Lily…James could not bear to let his actions hurt her. James realized that if he was going to continue to act grown up, he would have to actually grow up. He tried to push his worries and fears from his mind, and he took to heart what she said. After all, they did have to live.

"You're right, Lils," he whispered finally. He reached for the same wrist that he had grabbed earlier and gently pulled her over to sit down on the edge of his bed.

"I love you too, Lily. I want to spend my whole life, no matter how long it is, with you," he said hugging her tightly. In that moment, James decided that he was going to do whatever it took to make sure that their "whole lives" was a very long time. Lily held him close to her, heard his heartbeat, felt his warmth, and breathed in his familiar, comforting scent. "Good," she said, "Because I wouldn't have it any other way." She pulled back and smiled lovingly at him, and then stood up carefully. "Now, about those bruises..."

James sighed heavily and lay back on the bed. He did not have the energy to resist her fussing over him. As Lily went to work however, James suddenly caught her hand and looked up at her determinedly.

"I promise I _will_ take care of you, Lily. I will protect you and our baby with my life. I swear it," he finished in a whisper, and brought her hand to his lips.

Lily stopped dead, a small jar of salve in her hand. Her heart suddenly felt as though it might burst with love for her husband. "I know you will," she said quietly. "And I will too." Lily sat on the edge of the hospital bed and began to unbutton James's shirt, which was stained and torn around the sleeves and stomach from the massive beating he had received.

James smiled lightly and resolutely settled back on his pillows, watching her. Lily's face was a mask of pure, gentle, and innocent love as she began rubbing salve on a rather grotesque bruise which had spread across most of his abdomen. James continued to watch Lily and soon slipped into thought as she worked. He began to wonder what he was going to do with the information that he had so painstakingly acquired.

Lily finally remembered why it was he had gone out in the first place. "James, what do you think it means? I mean…what are they all up to…and are they connected to the case?" she asked, looking up at him. Lily was rather curious and anxious to get to the bottom of things. She was, after all, the head of forensics in this case.

"I didn't exactly find anything that directly pertains to our victim," he replied after a moment. "I did find out that Dolohov was…is working with Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Black, Crabbe, and Goyle, and that he passed along the ingredients to one of them (probably to Malfoy), so that he could brew the potion."

"I'll send the information to Barrington," Lily said, nodding rather officially.

"And you," she said, failing to suppress a grin, "will be staying here until I am absolutely sure that you're alright."

"C'mon Lily," James said, suppressing the whine that threatened to leak into his voice. "I'm fine. Plus, I have a spy to take care of."

Potion.

Spy.

James's jaw dropped and he fought for breath, the surprise of his revelation nearly choking him. "Lily," he finally managed to rasp. "Can you detect that potion in a living person's blood stream?"

Lily was taken aback. "Y-yes," she stammered, totally bewildered by this sudden question. "I'm pretty sure I could, but only if I had a rather good sample of…"

Then it hit her.

Lily's eyes widened in fear as she looked at James in horror; terrified of what he was implying.


	8. Blood Threat

**A/N: Yay!!! It's Summer!! And as such, this chapter is a bit longer than usual. Yay, right? Thanks for the reviews guys! I know that a couple of you were a little confused as to what is going on, but trust me, all will become clear shortly. Most of you picked up on it though ;-). Well, enjoy! (Oh, and keep reviewing, I love reading your thoughts and feelings about my writing.)**

"Take as much as you need," James said, swallowing hard and offering his arm. "The spy that I told you about...It's Jack. He brought me that coffee yesterday..." he trailed off, looking her in the eye and trying to swallow the large lump in his throat that was threatening to suffocate him.

"Jack?!?" Lily gasped. "But... I never... Jack?" She shook her head. _Save the questions until after you take a blood sample, Evans._

"Alright," she said, reaching under the bed and pulling out a white box. Putting it in her lap, she put a pair of gloves on and raised her wand to his arm. She muttered a disinfecting spell. A smell like rubbing alcohol was noticeable for only a few moments before it disappeared. Lily opened the box. In it were neatly arranged needles, in order of gauge.

James shuddered, still holding his left arm out, he turned his head in the opposite direction. He hated needles. An antiquated muggle tool if you asked him.

Lily arched an eyebrow at the grimace on James's face. "What? Is James Potter, fearless Auror and Quidditch player, afraid of a little needle?" She laughed, smiling as she picked up a syringe.

"Don't laugh," James ordered irritably. He felt his breath catch in his throat as Lily picked up an extremely sharp-looking needle. Shaking his head, he did his best to push the silly fear out of his mind. Did he or did he not just survive an attack from Death Eaters? He gritted his teeth determinedly, and met Lily's eyes with a level gaze.

"I need you to relax your arm James," Lily said, biting her lip and grinning. She felt him relax. "Good. Now, who was the winning team in the 1924 Quidditch World Cup Series? I can't ever remember..."

"Nice try, Lils," he said, giving her a look. "Just get it over with." James watched her, trying to stay calm, as she got everything ready. Lily frowned and looked closely at his face for a moment.

"Wait, you have a cut or something right there..." Mid-sentence, she slid the needle smoothly into the crook of his arm. James frowned slightly at the mention of a cut on his face, but he was soon distracted by the feeling of the needle driving deep into the crook of his arm. James ground his teeth fiercely, but still managed to utter a stream of swear words that would make him the envy of any sailor. Lily grabbed a piece of gauze, quickly covering the place where the needle went into James's arm. She pulled back the plunger causing dark crimson liquid to rush into the syringe.

Lily frowned at him. "Watch your mouth, James!" she said pulling the needle out quickly and applying a bit more pressure than was necessary to his arm.

"There," she cooed teasingly, "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Lily held up the syringe and flicked it, looking at the blood sample.

"I don't have enough," she sighed, "Looks like we'll have to take another one." The look on James' face was priceless. She couldn't help herself. Lily burst out laughing as she stowed the white case back under the bed.

"That was not funny, Lily Evans," James replied sternly. He bent his arm over the gauze that she had placed over the hole in his arm, and sat up swinging his legs over the side of the bed. James stood up, grimacing slightly as his stomach protested.

"Sit back down, now! You need to hold your arm over your head until the bleeding stops," said Lily, her eyes flashing dangerously as she leapt to a stand and strode around to face him, her hands on her hips. If looks could kill, James would have been dead on his feet.

"I have to go. I have alot of work to do, and I may not have very long to do it," James replied stubbornly, avoiding her glare. The persistent feeling that he had to do something right away intensified as he stood there, intentionally not looking Lily in the eye.

"You're not going anywhere until I've tested this," Lily said, shaking the syringe filled with his own blood at James.

"If you've really been poisoned and one of them puts the curse on you..." she trailed off, still glaring at him, although her look was more pleading than before.

"So what, you're going to put me in lock down now? No one in, no one out?!" James asked, his temper rising. He had to do this. Even if he was poisoned, which he was reasonably sure that he was, he had to do something. He refused to just sit there like a helpless child. 'Why did I drink that Goddamn coffee?,' he thought frustratedly. 'Because he was your assistant. You assumed that he was trustworthy,' Another voice reasoned.

"You're goddamn right I'm going to put you on lockdown! If you think for one fucking second that I'm going to let you barrel out there and make yourself a bloody WALKING TARGET, you've got another thing coming!" Lily shouted.

"You are my patient, under MY jurisdiction, AND, until I say otherwise, you will NOT be LEAVING THIS ROOM!"

James paled slightly as the fiery redhead set to screaming at him, but this did nothing to improve his temper either.

"DAMMIT, LILY! I have to do this! What if you can't find an antidote?! I have to go and get whatever I can out of him! I just...I HATE being so FUCKING HELPLESS!!"

Lily recoiled as James yelled himself hoarse at her. "He'll be expecting you!" she said loudly, "Especially after your attack. No doubt his little Death Eater friends told him about it, and he'll be ready for you! What he WON'T expect is for someone else to show up, someone totally unexpected..." she gave him a significant look.

"NO!" James replied shortly. He started to tell her that he would call in another auror to do the job, but realized that she was just about the only person that he could really trust at the moment.

"Fuck….FUCK!," James muttered vehemently. He hated the idea of Lily knowingly going up against a Death Eater. What if something happened? Jack was not a very large person, but he could still over power her if it somehow came down to hand-to-hand combat.

"James," said Lily, laying a hand on his arm. "You know it's the only way. You know that. I don't like it either, but you're not leaving here, and I'm the only other one who knows about this. Jack's probably intercepting all owls and reading your mail. But we have an advantage. He doesn't know I know."

James stepped around Lily, not too carefully, and began pacing. She had a point. But he could not just send his wife to deal with a Death Eater spy on her own. She had no training with this sort of thing and even female aurors received slightly different training than males, because they generally had to use different techniques when fighting hand-to-hand with wizards.

"I don't suppose that I can stop you," James said finally, "but you had better come back." Then he added, "Otherwise there won't be anyone who can find an antidote for this poison," trying to look as casual as possible.

"I'm testing your blood before I leave," she said, sitting down at a table and waving her wand. "You may not even be poisoned," she remarked. As Lily waved her wand over it, a small vial of de-oxidizing solution appeared on the table. She emptied the syringe into it.

The contents turned a murky, dark blue. But after about a minute, the blood turned a sickly green. Lily's stomach fell out of her body. So he had been right.

"You were right," she said very quietly, showing him the vial with his own, unnaturally colored blood in it.

James closed his eyes for a moment, nodding solemnly. He stood there, quite still, with nothing to say. He felt contaminated.

Lily dropped the vial to the floor. It shattered, but she was so busy hugging James, that she didn't notice or care. Before James knew what was happened, the vial was shattered on the floor and Lily was wrapping her slender arms tightly around his shoulders. Lily pulled James down to her lips, tears forming in her eyes. When she pulled back, she looked deeply into his eyes.

"I will find an antidote," she said. "It mentioned one in the book. And I will come back."

James nodded again, this time only distantly paying attention to what she said. The feeling of contamination was growing and spreading within him. It would not go away. He knew it was just in his head, but the fact that he knew this did not change the way he felt. And for the first time in James's life, Lily's touch; her kisses, were not comforting to him. They made his skin crawl, as though she were going to catch something from being near him.

"Just go," James breathed, looking vaguely off in another direction.

"James, look at me," Lily said gently. She hooked a finger under his chin and brought his gaze to hers. "I love you. You're amazing, brave, strong, and so many other things that most people can only dream of being! That," she said gesturing to the smashed vial and the clotted green substance on the floor, "is no more your fault than it is Remus's fault that he's a werewolf. I still love you, and I'll always love you, until the day I die, and even then, I'll still love you." Lily brought his lips to hers again, kissing him, letting all her love and warmth pour through her and into James.

James relaxed marginally as she kissed him again. He knew that. He knew all of those things, but it did not prevent him from still feeling dirty or contaminated. Hugging her tightly, James finally released her and forced a smile. "The sooner you get back, the sooner we can cure me," he stated simply. "I love you."

Lily hugged James one last time and disapparated to his office.

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Someone opened the door. "Oh! Lily!" said Jack, looking startled. "I was just coming in for some papers..." he shut the door behind them. Lily had been waiting for a little over an hour before Jack finally appeared. Each minute had been an agonizing wait as her worst fears had played out in her mind's eye. A small part of Lily was absolutely terrified and positive that someone would activate the potion on James before she would get the chance to help him.

But finally Jack had come into the room and Lily saw her chance. "Did you hear what happened to James?" she asked, feigning tears.

"Oh, yes, terrible, that," said Jack, looking a mite uncomfortable. Lily waved her hand, and he was pinned to the wall, unable to move.

"You traitor," she hissed, moving right up in his face. "I should kill you for what you did to my husband. But I'm going to be nice. If you comply, you get a fair trial and a sentence in Azkaban. Otherwise, I'm wasting my time. And you must be aware that Barty Crouch has authorized the use of unforgiveable curses against Death Eaters," Lily growled dangerously.

"Now, I want you to give me all of your memories pertaining to the Invertias potion." The young man had begun to break out in sweat. Lily put the tip of her wand to his head and took off her necklace.

"I'll be checking to see if they're the right ones, so don't even try to fool me," she snarled.

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An hour later, she popped back into James' private hospital room, very angry, but very pleased with her results.

James had spent the last two hours pacing the tiny hospital room. True to Lily's word, no one had come in, and James had not been able to leave, despite a half-hearted attempt. He probably was not doing himself any good with his constant pacing, but it was easier to concentrate on his physical pain than to relax and try to deal with his emotional anxiety.

"Lily?" James sighed as she came in. He stopped pacing and turned to face her. She looked furious, but she did not seem hurt. The first thing James wanted to do was to hold Lily tightly in his arms, but training and habit made him think of security first. The familiar montre of Lily's security question tumbled quickly from James's lips.

"What was your calico cat's name when you were a child?" James asked dutifully.

"Donne, for my favorite Muggle poet," Lily responded with the same automatic tone. "And where was the first place you flew a broom?"

"Outside of Devon, at my Great Uncle Harper's estate," James replied quickly. And after that was finished he immediately shot a questioning glance at Lily.

"I'm fine," Lily said, taking a deep breath. She stumbled a bit as she walked over to him. "Just a bit dizzy."

James rushed over to steady Lily, and eyed her concernedly. "Are you sure? What happened? Where's Jack?"

"I called the aurors in. He's going to Azkaban pending his trial. I didn't give him a chance to try anything. But I have all the evidence we need right here," Lily said, pressing her hand to the gleaming onyx stone on her necklace and putting her other hand to her head.

James wrapped an arm around Lily's waist and led her over to his hospital bed, sitting her down gently.

"Let's see it," he said, failing to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

"A-alright," she said, still a bit dizzy. She unclasped the necklace and touched James's fingers to the stone. "Ready?" she asked, also pressing her fingers against the cold gem.

"As ready as I'll ever be," James replied taking a seat next to her and taking a deep breath.


	9. How to Brew an Antidote in Record Time

**A/N: HEY! I know its been awhile, but I hope you find this chapter worth the wait. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and favorited and put this story on their story alerts, it means alot to have people show interest in this story. Well, without further ado...enjoy!**

"Ok." Lily closed her eyes. Then, she was falling, tumbling gently downward until she felt her feet on solid ground. She could feel James's hand on her shoulder the whole time and felt him stumble slightly as they landed, his legs still weak from everything that had happened and from finding out he was poisoned.

Lily opened her eyes. They were in a large, dark, stone room, lit with torches in brackets that burned green, casting an eerie glow over the occupants of the room. All of them were unmasked now. Lily was standing next to a man who had long, white-blonde hair, but she was behind him, and couldn't see his face.

"It will be your job to report to me everything that Potter is doing," hissed a cruel voice from the other side of the circle of people. Lily didn't need to see him to know who it was. She shivered.

"We will eliminate him afterward, no?" said Bellatrix Black, who was standing next to the man with blonde hair.

"Yes we shall, Bella." It sounded as though the dark lord was smiling.

Lily took a tentative step forward and walked through the man in front of her. There he was. Voldemort. He looked inhuman and cruel, like a snake with unnatural, red eyes. She hastily stepped backward through the man again, not wanting to feel those red eyes glare through her.

"I have finished the potion, my lord," said a voice Lily couldn't place. She looked around the room, but nobody seemed to be talking.

"Very good," said the dark lord. "Then carry out your orders as planned. Malfoy, report to me when Potter realizes this is all a setup."

"Yes, my lord."

"Very well. You may go for now." The man in front of her turned around, and Lily froze. Those eyes... those ice-cold, gray, piercing eyes...

Lily gasped in fear and backed into James. The memories of her attack were flashing through her head. There was no mistaking those eyes. It was him. She quickly turned away from the memory of the man and hid her face against James's chest, shivering slightly.

A chill ran down James's spine as Voldemort's voice rippled through the cold air in the dark chamber. Something tugged at the back of his mind, but he was distracted as Lily gasped and backed into him, looking at Malfoy with a horrified expression on her face. James wrapped his arm protectively around Lily, leaving his freshly healed (and still tender) arm at his side and narrowed his eyes, glaring hatefully at Malfoy.

He understood the look in Lily's eyes and it did nothing to improve his opinion of Mr. Lucius Malfoy. His breath quickened and his chest rose and fell rapidly with the effort to contain his fury.

The memory grew dark, and Lily felt herself fall head over heels again. When she opened her eyes again, they were back in the hospital room. She stayed in James's arms, the only thing that made her feel safe at the moment.

"That... that man..." she said, looking up at James, fear still in her eyes. "He... he was the one that... that..." She bit back tears that were threatening to fall.

"I know," James replied more sharply than he had intended. Biting back his rage at Malfoy, James took a deep calming breath and tilted Lily's face up to his.

"I know," he repeated, gently, sadly.

Lily sniffed, and then shoved away the tears impatiently. "Look at me, I'm acting so stupid..." she said with a forced chuckle.

"No, Lily. You are not acting stupid. You have never been stupid...well…except for that one time when you stole my broom and locked it up in a closet," he added, smilingly softly at her.

Lily chuckled again, but it was genuine this time.

"And then when Filch opened the cupboard, it beat him about the head," she reminisced, giggling. James had gotten a detention for that, but he'd had it coming to him anyway for the prank he'd pulled on her two days before.

James nodded and pulled Lily into a tight hug, resting his chin on her head. After a moment, he spoke, though he did not loosen his hold on her.

"Do you think I could get another shirt?" he asked casually, having not had a shirt since being healed several hours earlier.

"No, I don't think so," she said, grinning up at him and raking her fingers down his chest. "I seem to recall you denying me a particular garment earlier. I think I'll return the favor."

James gave her a disappointed look, but then shrugged. After all, fair was fair. He inclined his neck and kissed her gently; as though trying to gain comfort from the feeling of her soft lips against his battered ones.

Lily felt warmth surge through her as James's bruised lips pressed against her own. All the love and compassion she felt for him transferred, she hoped, from her into him. After a moment, she pulled back.

"The antidote," she breathed, her eyes still fixated on his mouth.

James frowned suddenly and a frightened look flashed over his face, though he suppressed it after a moment. He checked his watch then ran his hand somewhat frantically through his hair as he looked at Lily.

"How long has it been since you had the other aurors take Jack to Azkaban?" James asked, his voice tight with anxiety.

"I don't know, half an hour, maybe an hour? Why?" she asked, cocking her head and looking at him quizzically.

"Lily, how quickly can you brew an antidote to this poison," James asked as his heart began beating quickly and heavily, filling his ears with the rushing sound of his own blood and his arms and legs shook with adrenaline and fear.

"Why? What's wrong, James?" Lily asked worriedly, feeling him start to shiver.

"Voldemort is going to cast the spell that triggers this potion as soon as he gets word that Jack was captured. He's going to try and make sure that the information dies...with me."

James began pacing back and forth across the small hospital room. "No one knows that we were working together on this case except Barrington so they don't know that you know everything. They know that I am working on this case and that I am only allowed to report to Barrington. I'll bet you they have someone who knows that Barrington doesn't have nearly all of the information yet and they are going to make sure that he never does."

By this time James was pacing very quickly across the three meter wide room, and ended his statement by slamming his fist pointedly into the wall.

Lily stared blankly at him, her head buzzing. Then, she swept over to the table and waved her hand over it. Immediately, all the things she would need appeared there.

"You're going to have to help me," she said, looking at him seriously. "If we have to beat Voldemort to it, we'll need to work together."

She pointed a finger at the broken vial on the floor and said "Reparo!" It immediately repaired itself and re-contained the green substance that was once blood.

"Right," James muttered. "Okay, where do you want to start?"

He looked at her questioningly. James had been a reasonably good student in everything, including potions, but he had been nowhere near the brilliant student that Lily was when it came to potions.

"One thing...I don't think I'll be able to do any kind of delicate work," he added, referring to his shaking hands.

"No chopping for you then," Lily said, picking up the vial and separating the contents by waving her wand over it.

"There, I've removed what was left of the actual blood, so now we actually have the potion here. Now," She pointed her wand at the cauldron again, and it immediately separated itself into five different liquids, each a different color. "Get me a vial, will you?" she said, still looking down into the cauldron in intense concentration.

"That I can do," James said, managing a weak smile as he pulled out his wand and conjured a vile. Handing the vial to her, he said a silent prayer that this would not be the last time he would get to admire the way that the cauldron's firelight reflected off of Lily's shimmering, fiery hair.

Lily smiled reassuringly at him and lifted the vial out of his trembling fingers. She pulled one of the five liquids out in a long stream that seemed to hover and float in thin air before arcing gracefully into the vial. When all the liquids were in their respective vials, she waved her free hand, and a book appeared in it: Moste Potente Potions.

"Look up Inveritas," she said, handing James the book. "I'll get to work on these."

James flipped quickly through the pages of what seemed to be quickly becoming Lily's most used potions book. He found the page that she needed and lay the book open on her makeshift work surface. Running a hand anxiously through his hair, James watched as Lily began to skim ingredients.

Her eyes still skimming the book, Lily waved her hand carelessly at a large cupboard in the corner. It opened with a creaking sound, and was revealed to hold all sorts of ingredients. She started summoning different ones, until she had a rather formidable pile on her left hand side. Pointing her wand at the burner under her cauldron to make the fire burn hotter, she poured the contents of the first vial, which was totally clear, into the cauldron. It hissed and issued opalescent, purplish steam when it hit the hot metal. Working quickly, she identified it. Picking up a silvery, spiraling unicorn horn, she used her wand and cut a piece off of it. She put the piece into a mortar and handed it and a pestle to James.

James shakily began grinding the horn into a fine powder. He had an inkling that Lily was probably one of the only witches in all of Great Britain's wizarding community that would be able to brew an antidote to this potion at all, much less in as little time as possible. Momentarily, he wondered how long he had and if the antidote would need to stew, but he quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind and concentrated on grinding up the unicorn horn.

Lily quickly burned off the poison, and it evaporated with a hiss. She poured in water and gently lifted the mortar from James's shaking hand. Pouring in the powder, she began to stir it counter-clockwise.

"That's one down," she said, sighing in relief as the potion turned a lovely shade of blue.

"How many to go?" James asked, failing to keep his voice level.

"Just four. Now, which was the next ingredient?" she asked distractedly, pouring the unicorn horn mixture into a flask.

"Um...a roughly twenty gram bezoar," James replied, skimming the page of Moste Potente Potions. A picture caught his eye and he swallowed hard as the image illustrated what awaited him if they could not finish the antidote before news about Jack reached Voldemort.

"Good, that's an easy one to sort out," she said, sighing. She picked up her knife and pulled a large amount of rosemary and peppermint toward her. As she diced them, she asked, "And the next one?"

"It's...er...huh, well that's strange. Doxy wings," he stated, before skimming down the page to find the last ingredient for the antidote.

Lily hastily added the ingredients to counter the doxy wings and the bezoar to the flask. The liquid turned bright yellow. Good.

"And the last one is..." James trailed off. He drew in a deep shuddering breath and fell to his knees. Then the air caught in his chest and he could no longer breathe. Everything in his body; every muscle, every nerve, felt as though it was being twisted up and ripped apart.

James clenched his jaw tightly against the pain, but the excruciating feeling of...of being turned inside out, had him screaming after only a few seconds. The pain was a thousand times worse than ANY Cruciatus curse he had ever been placed under.

Terror shot through Lily as James fell to the ground and began screaming and writhing in pain, but only the antidote would save him now. Sweat rolling down her forehead, Lily furiously looked for the last two ingredients.

Monkshood and Deadly Nightshade.

Reaching for her knife, she hurriedly cut up the mushrooms to counteract the wolfsbane and added them, but there was only one thing to counteract the deadly nightshade.

The blood of a loved one.

Without a second thought Lily slashed the knife across her palm. The blood fell from her skin and into the flask. The potion turned black, and then instantly became transparent.

James ran out of breath and his screams of pain died, caught in his throat. He collapsed, forehead pressed to the floor, his hands clenched tightly and was unable to see anything. He wanted to scream, to cry; he wanted for the pain to end. He wanted to _die_.

Dropping to her knees with the flask in her hand, Lily managed to roll James over and pulled his head into her lap so that she could tip the entire contents of the flask into his mouth. His eyes were shut tightly and his glasses had fallen to the floor when he collapsed. Lily watched James's face intently, praying that the antidote would work.

Amidst the pain that seared through his body, James felt something cold, cool, comforting trickle down his throat. Slowly, so slowly, the pain began to ebb and he lay there, trembling on the cold tile floor.

Lily flung the flask aside. It skidded over a meter across the tile and hit the wall. She cradled his head in her arms, her tears falling onto his face, in his hair. He had come so close. All of the fear and terror and pain caught up with her as he lay with his head in her lap, shivering on the floor.

"James," she whispered tearfully, over and over again, rocking back and forth. "James. Oh, James."

James opened his mouth to reply, but every muscle in his body screamed in protest. He felt like he had somehow managed to sprain his entire body and grind all of his bones into a fine powder. He tried again, but still could not find his voice so he gave up and simply closed his eyes, letting Lily's tears wash over him. She was the reason he was still alive, and he began to wonder what he could possibly do to ever repay her.

Lily bent down and captured James's lips in a long, tender kiss, tears still coursing down her face. He was alive. The relief was as overwhelming as the fear had been.

"James, I'm so sorry," she said. "I should have done it sooner..."

James fought the heavy feeling that was spreading through his arms and legs making it hard to lift them and placed his hand on Lily's cheek.

"No, Lils," he rasped, "You were perfect."

Lily put her hand over his and pressed it to her cheek, feeling it warm and wonderful and alive. She waved a hand and the pillow flew off the bed. She gently placed his head on it before getting up and rummaging around in the storage cupboard for something.

"I love you, Lily," James whispered as he let his eyes close and waves of exhaustion flooded his system. He was almost entirely unaware of his surroundings, but there was one thing he knew, Lily was with him.

"I love you too, James," said Lily quietly as she returned to him. She magicked him back onto the bed, pillow and all. Then she poured out a measure of potion into a small glass and handed it to him.

"Here, take this, love. You'll feel much better after a full night's rest."

James was too tired and _far_ too sore to fuss and simply drank the potion. Everything around him dissolved as he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**Another A/N: In case you didn't catch on, Lily's necklace holds a rather large black opal which can be used to focus magic. This one has been turned into a portable pensive as well as scrying device. It was a present from James. :-D Also, don't get to excited and come murder me because of the ending of this chapter. I've already started on the next one and plan to have it out in the next few days. Okay...think thats it...Oh yeah, I don't own any of these characters that you recognize, just the ones you don't lol.**

**UPDATE: As I'm sure you can see, there isn't really a cliffhanger here. I rearranged the chapters a bit to make this section flow better. Just a heads up. Hope you're enjoying the story!  
**


	10. A Short Reprieve

**A/N: Going back and doing some updating while I work on the next chapter, which will hopefully be out soon, and I felt that this chapter and the previous chapter needed some rearranging. No big changes, just placement changes. Of course...now this is a really short chapter... Oh well, I still feel better about the flow now.**

**A/N: See, I told you the next chapter would be up soon. I felt too mean leaving you with that last cliff hanger. Although...honestly, 125 hits on chapter 9 already, but only ONE review? Help me out here! Lol. I LOVE to read the reviews. Its sad when there aren't many. Thanks so so much to Garaas Girl, who did review. Yay! Anyways...read/enjoy/review!**

**Case File 119826 – Day Three**

Lily sat there for an hour, simply watching James sleep, thinking. What if James was right? What if neither of them lived long enough to start a family?

No. That wouldn't happen, Lily promised herself. Not if she had it within her power to fight back. She had drawn up a chair and was sitting next to his bed. Fatigue clouded Lily's vision and she yawned; folding her arms over the edge of the bed, she let her head rest on her arms. In that position, Lily quickly slipped off to sleep.

James woke up several hours later, feeling considerably better, but dying of thirst. Careful not to wake Lily, who had dozed off on the side of his hospital bed, James stood up and set out for the water pitcher in the far corner of the room. His muscles complained fiercely with every move that he made, but, as far as James was concerned, it was a far sight better than he had felt only hours ago.

Once he had consumed nearly the whole pitcher of water, James made his way back to the hospital bed. Glancing down at his watch, he saw that it was nearly eight thirty in the morning. Cursing softly James began to figure out how he was going to share the information he had been collecting with Barrington. Lily had placed his glasses on the night stand next to his hospital bed and James gratefully picked them up and placed them on his nose. After running his hands through his hair several times, James dug into his pants pocket and pulled out an extremely shiny crystal.

After walking into the bathroom that adjoined the small hospital room, James placed the crystal on the countertop and waved a hand over it. The crystal hummed quietly and began playing an assortment of the past few day's happenings. In his opinion, and probably Barrington's too, James would not be of much use if he did not know what had been going on while he was nearly turned inside out.

Ten minutes later, James pulled back the sheets on the hospital bed and climbed under the covers once more, everything seemed to be running smoothly for the rest of the aurors, at least for the time being. James fully intended on sleeping until nine and then apparating back to the house to get showered and changed before reporting to Barrington. James closed his eyes and took several deep breaths.

Lily sighed in her sleep and turned her head on her hands, her face toward James now. Her hair was a mess, spread out all over the bed, and she was still a bit pale from last night's events. She quietly murmured his name in her sleep and smiled.

James grinned, his eyes still closed, as Lily said his name in her sleep. He reached out and smoothed a hand over her hair.

"Lily," he called quietly. She looked pale and even from here, James could tell that she had dark circles under her eyes. Of course, he felt sure that _he_ would be lucky to look pale and have dark circles.

"Hm?" Lily breathed drowsily, opening her eyes halfway and stirring a bit. She looked up to see James smiling down at her. He looked a real mess, with his hair even messier than usual, dark circles under his eyes, a cut across his cheek, his lips still a light bluish-purple, tinged with yellowish-green now as they healed, plus a distinct shadow of stubble. Lily smiled back. It was amazing, she thought, how handsome he looked no matter what state he was it.

"Come here," James said, lifting up an edge of the sheets and motioning for her to join him under the covers. "You look exhausted," he breathed, taking her hand and kissing it as he drew her closer.

Lily smiled gratefully. She kicked her shoes off and slid under the covers with James, a sigh of relief whispering past her full pink lips.

"I feel exhausted," she replied. "Saving a life is not easy business. Especially when that life is yours, what with all the trouble you get yourself into," she teased, tapping him playfully on the nose with her finger.

"What would I do without you?" James asked, closing his eyes and wrapping sore arms lazily around Lily's slender form.

"You would party, womanize, and still think you were God's gift to the world," Lily said, chuckling and cuddling closer to him, relaxing in the warmth he provided.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Why did I marry you again?" James asked pretending to mull it over. He smiled and kissed her lightly. They both knew the answer to that question and it was not something that either of them could put into words.

"Well, I think it had something to do with the fact that you'd been smitten with me for the last four years at Hogwarts, asked me out at least once every day, and followed me around with these big, puppy-dog eyes..." Lily demonstrated, pouting her lower lip and giving him a sad-eyed look.

It had only been roughly three years ago, James thought disbelievingly, that Lily had finally agreed to go out with him. Laying a hand pointedly on Lily's stomach, James kissed her, savoring the taste of her lips.

"And look at how far we've come," he commented softly. Lily smiled and put her hand over James's.

"Sometimes, I can hardly believe you were the same little eleven-year-old boy who used to call me carrot-head and pull my pigtails," she said. James smiled broadly at the recollection of his eleven-year old self.

Holding Lily close, James drifted off to sleep again, still exhausted from the last night's ordeal. It would be at least an hour before he would wake again, and then it would be time to take action.


	11. Love and Deception

**A/N: YAY!! New chapter!! I know what you're thinking, "Its about **_**time**_**. What, was she mauled by a hippogriff?" And the truth is, no I was not mauled by a hippogriff so there really is no excuse as to why it took me this long to get this chapter up. But my lateness aside, this was a fun chapter to write and I hope you enjoy it. This chapter is one of the very good reasons that this story is RATED M! Other than that…Enjoy!**

Lily woke up a bit after nine in James's arms, not realizing she'd fallen asleep. She was a bit disoriented and unsure of where she was at first, but then she realized that she was still in the hospital with James. He was still asleep. She smiled and pushed a bit of hair out of his eyes, listening to his deep breathing. He really did look like an angel when he slept. 'A strong, sexy angel,' she thought to herself. James mumbled something and stretched slightly, before gathering Lily tightly in his arms again, like a child with a favorite stuffed animal.

"Do I have to get up?" he asked, eyes still closed. He grinned slightly and nuzzled into the crook of her shoulder. Lily chuckled as James pulled her close to him.

"In a few minutes, yes, you do," she said, a bit disappointed herself. "How about I give you another..._twenty minutes_?" Lily said, raising her eyebrows slyly at him.

James was somewhat startled by Lily's rather forward comment. They were both almost too tired to move, much less... He seemed to consider this for a moment then nuzzled further into the crook of her neck.

"I don't think so, Lils. I'm too sore for another twenty minutes. I might just have to get up now," he said; his voice muffled by Lily's skin.

"I was just teasing you," Lily said, chuckling again and sighing contentedly as James nuzzled further into the crook of her neck. She giggled. "James! That tickles!!"

"What?" James asked with feigned innocence as he put his lips on Lily's neck and blew gently. Lily laughed and squirmed in his arms.

"James! Stop that! Ah!"

James grinned and bit lightly at Lily's neck as she began to squirm. Then, as she squirmed against his stomach, James winced and pulled quickly away. The large bruise on his stomach, although much better than the day before, still made absolutely certain that James remembered its existence. Lily gasped.

"Oh my gosh, James, I'm so sorry!" Lily apologized, pulling away and putting a hand over her mouth. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," James reassured her as he stretched out on his back; as this seemed to relieve some of the pressure on his bruised abdomen. "What a mess...," he muttered more to himself than to Lily. "I'm just glad that it was me and not you," he told Lily earnestly, resting a hand gently on her stomach.

"I suppose I would have to say the same, but not for my sake," she agreed quietly. "I can take care of the rest of that for you now, if you want. I couldn't do it last night for, well, obvious reasons..."

"Please," James interjected eagerly, feeling as though his bones were probably bruised. "Then we have some work to do..." he trailed off, still strangely focused on her stomach, part of him delighted and part of him terrified by the life growing there.

Lily sighed and reluctantly rolled out of James's arms and the bed and retrieved her wand. She used an X-ray charm.

"You've only got a few bruised ribs. Nothing I can't cure." She put her wand back in her pocket and waved her right hand over his stomach.

James sighed in relief as most of the dull ache in his stomach and chest dissipated. "Good," he said, standing up and taking stock of his body while he stretched sore limbs. When he was satisfactorily stretched out he turned to Lily and pulled her into his arms.

"Thank you, sweatheart," James murmured, kissing Lily tenderly. Lily smiled up at him.

"Anything for my stag," she replied, standing on tiptoe and giving him an eskimo kiss. Then, she realized that he was shirtless and that she was well... She turned red as she realized that James still had her unmentionables in his pocket.

"Er, James?" she asked looking up at him, still pink in the face. "Could I have my panties back please?"

James heaved a fake sigh and produced the aforementioned garment, winking amusedly at Lily. "If you insist," he muttered in pretend disappointment.

Lily took them from him and stood on tiptoe again and kissed him lightly. "Don't worry, you can watch me take them off again later," she whispered in his ear, before slipping out of his arms.

James closed his eyes, savoring the thought for a moment before uttering a noise of approval. He knew that he should be planning his next move in the mission right now, but Lily could be so damned distracting sometimes. He wondered momentarily if that had not been an ulterior motive for making them partners, but he quickly pushed the thought away. Lily smiled coyly at James upon hearing him make a contented sound, before pulling the curtain that separated the room for privacy. After putting her underwear back on, she reemerged and cleared the small table of her potions and cauldron.

James stood there for several minutes thinking deeply about what their next move would be. Voldemort would be fairly sure that he, James, was dead, and James wondered if maybe they should use that to their advantage. He also wondered how long he could pretend to be dead without anyone finding out the truth.

"Hey, Lils," he called after considering this for a moment, "What do you think of the fact that Voldemort most likely believes that I am dead? Gruesomely dead, I might add."

Lily stopped wiping the table down with a conjured rag and looked up at James, startled. He was right. They were the only two who knew that James was still alive. She had not thought of that.

"I'm not sure..." Lily replied thoughtfully. There were an awful lot of reasons for him to use it to his advantage, but there were an awful lot of downsides that went along with it.

"I need to find out who the victim was and who might be next, and this is the perfect opportunity to be able to move freely through many city's...er...darker sides," he finished, avoiding eye-contact.

"Of course," James added quickly, "I would try not to take too long, because until we tell everyone that I am, in fact, still alive, we cannot be seen together, and I cannot be seen at all." James bit his lower lip, thinking hard about the consequences that followed his actions. It would kill him to lie to the world like this. To let his parents, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, not to mention every other significant person in his life, believe that he had died a horrible death. The more he thought about it, however, the more James, as a specially trained auror, could not pass up this golden opportunity to move freely around the wizarding world without suspicion.

Lily grimaced. A grieving widow was a part she did not want to have to play, but if it meant finding out who their victim was and who the next victim might be... Lily sighed.

"I guess it would be for the best. But...but please, use disguising charms, and your cloak," she said reluctantly as she made the rag vanish. "But we can't tell Sirius? Or Remus or Peter?" Lily asked, almost pleadingly. It would feel so...wrong. At least it wasn't permanent.

"I really would rather we kept this just between the two of us..." James began, mulling the possibilities over in his mind. "I'll try not to take more than a week or so at the most."

"Well, promise me you'll come home tonight. Just tonight," Lily said, walking over to James, looking pleadingly into his eyes. Just one more night with him would be a comfort.

James cupped Lily's cheek in his hand, and kissed her thoroughly. He could not deny Lily's request, not with the desperate look that lingered behind her eyes.

"You're sure _you're_ okay with this?" he questioned, wondering if Lily was up for the emotional stress that his plan required her to endure.

Lily bit her lower lip and nodded slowly as her emerald eyes met James's warm hazel ones. She put her arms around him, not wanting to let go, but knowing she had to. She pulled back.

"Where are you going to go?" she asked. "Because you need to go there before someone comes in here."

"I'll probably go to the Shrieking Shack and wait until nightfall. Then I'll come home, collect the things that I need, and find a more secure place to stay until all of this business is finished," James replied, kissing Lily lightly on the forehead. "I need you to make the report to Barrington, too. Don't tell him that I'm alive either. I trust him, but rule number one of undercover missions: the fewer people know, the better the chances of success."

"Alright." Lily hugged him close for a moment, and then pulled away. "Go," she said. "Before someone finds you here."

James nodded before apparating silently from the room. He found himself in one of the rooms of the Shrieking Shack. It had been deserted since the end of their seventh year at Hogwarts, and a thick layer of dust coated everything. James walked over to the bed that sat glumly in one corner of the room, and after uttering a cleaning charm, lay silently on the bed to think through what he was about to do.

Lily sighed heavily and rubbed her temples lightly with slender fingers. It had been a long, long day, one of the longest of her life. She had told Barrington, in tears, that James had been killed, but luckily, she was able to manage being too upset to answer his questions about James's "body". Having been pressed for time, Lily had simply conjured what she imagined James's inside out body would look like. The process had nearly made her physically ill, but being the well trained healer she was, Lily had dealt with it. The fake body would not hold up under extreme testing or attempts at identification, but they didn't need it that long.

Lily then dealt with Sirius and Remus, telling them she did not want to talk about it right then when their heads had popped into her fireplace. She shut the front door of her and James's home behind her. It was only nine thirty. She stared impatiently at the clock, waiting for him. He'd promised, without words, that he'd be there.

After waiting and watching the rays of light that came through the wooden slats over the windows grow longer and longer then finally extinguish themselves, James got to his feet. Something had been whispering in his mind all day that something bad was going to happen through this deception, and he was eager to finish what he had to do as quickly as possible, but he had promised to go home, if only for a couple of hours that night. Concentrating hard on a face that would soon form over his features, James took a deep breath. As he exhaled, James muttered a very complicated illusion spell and his features slowly began to re-arrange themselves into those of some unknown individual, who may or may not have existed.

Once he was sure that his disguise was in place, James apparated to the corner of their quiet street. Keeping to the shadows, he made his way to the modest home that he and Lily loved more and more with each passing day.

"Alohamora," James muttered, in a voice that was unfamiliar to him. After muttering the alohamora charm, James also completed a series of complicated wand movements over the door. There was a quiet click as the door unlocked, and stepping inside, James locked it safely back.

Lily jumped up. A man she had never seen before had just entered her home. Her wand was out and pointed at his heart before he could take another step.

"Who are you?" she asked coldly, her wand arm stock-still.

James closed his eyes and took another deep breath. As he let it go, this time his own face and body appeared through what had been, admittedly a rather scraggily and frightening disguise.

"It's just me," he said quietly, his own voice strangely comforting in his ears. There were times when he really hated disguising himself. Times when he found himself irrationally afraid that he, him, his body, would be lost forever.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief, but her wand only lowered a few inches.

"Wait, how do I know you really are James?" she asked. The question that they had made to identify each other with spilled from her slightly trembling lips.

"Where was…was the first place we made love?" she asked, going a bit pink.

James took a step forward, closing the distance between them and grabbing Lily's wand hand firmly. He moved the wand to the side allowing him to wrap an arm around her waist and press their bodies closely together.

"The Room of Requirements," James replied in a deep, quiet voice. "What is my pet name for you?" he asked, in the same low voice.

"I'm your fawn," breathed Lily, smiling and turning an even deeper shade of pink, although her eyes were following his lips as they formed the question.

"Yes you are," James agreed huskily, guiding Lily's arm, that he still had a tight hold on, over his shoulder, to wrap around his neck. He pressed his lips to hers, softly and seductively at first, but with increasing insistence.

Lily kissed him desperately. Her arm around James's neck, she dropped her wand and let her hand travel up into his unruly raven hair, pulling him closer to her. She needed him here with her. Just knowing that James would not be there for days made Lily's heart ache.

James moved his hands deliberately over Lily's body, delighting in her familiar curves. Sliding his hand down her back and over her full, round derrière, he lifted her off of the floor and stumbled toward the bedroom as Lily wrapped her legs around his waist, and they continued to kiss each other heatedly.

Lily moaned into James's mouth as he ran his hands over her body. She stumbled slightly as her feet hit the floor rather forcefully once they were back in the bedroom. She pulled away and backed a meter or so away from him, an eyebrow arched suggestively. James took one long stride, and pressed his body against Lily's again, kissing her forcefully. The momentum from the force with which their bodies met continued. They made a graceful arc as they both lost their balance and fell over, landing on the bed.

Lily was caught off guard by James's forwardness, and was rendered momentarily breathless as James landed on top of her, but her lips never left his. Lily murmured something incoherent against James's mouth as he began unbuttoning her shirt. She ran her hands down the back of his neck, her fingers making little circular patterns as they went.

"Hm?" James muttered, kissing down Lily's jaw-line as he finished removing the clothing on her upper body and headed for the clasp on her pants.

"You know, I never did actually put those underwear back on..." she muttered breathily as James pressed delicious kisses down her neck.

James stopped and looked at her quizzically for a moment before smiling appreciatively at her and pressing his lips to her jaw-line again. Inwardly thinking that he might have to keep a closer eye on Lily in the future…

Lily ran her tongue along her lips in anticipation as James continued down her jaw-line to the sensitive flesh beneath her ear. She wrapped her arms around his neck and purred contentedly as James kissed and lightly bit at the sweet spot below her ear.

James moaned and continued kissing his way down Lily's neck and collar bone. His pants had become exceedingly constricting and he was eager to lay there with nothing between himself and Lily.

Lily let her hands wander down James wiry and toned, although still clothed, chest, and found the button fastening his waistband closed. She hastily unbuttoned it. She wanted him so badly it made her head spin. She jumped and made a startled high-pitched sound as James hit a particularly sensitive spot on her neck.

James growled contentedly as Lily started and he lingered over the spot on her neck, sucking lightly on it. He moaned quietly as he felt her hands working frantically to free him from his horribly confining garments. While Lily was fumbling with his waistband he went back to work on her pants and was sliding them down her legs in a matter of moments.

True to her word, Lily had not replaced her underwear. James made a noise of intense desire and moved his lips up along Lily's jaw-line and closer to her ear.

"Oh, Lils," he whispered, his voice deep and tinged with lust.

"Mmm.." Lily sighed. She finally managed to unbutton James's pants. She sat up slightly in order to remove them completely, since he was so much taller than her. Running her hands up the sides of his body, she caught the hem of his shirt and lifted it off over his head, letting her hands roam over the newly exposed skin.

After quickly and easily slipping out of the only remaining garment between them, James pressed his body eagerly against Lily's, shivering at the electricity that seemed to pass between them. He groaned as the feeling of their bare skin meeting and brushing lightly together, sent ripples of pleasure up his spine.

"My fawn.." he mouthed, the words barely audible.

Lily felt a surge of pleasure as James let out a moan. She sighed contentedly as he barely murmured his name for her, the name he used on only their rarest, and most gentle, of love making occasions.

When Lily met James's lips again, she could have sworn that sparks flew from them. James let out a pleasurable sigh and moved his hands down Lily's sides to rest on her hips. Her skin seemed to tingle under his touch and their kisses felt as though they were sending sparks back and forth to one another.

"Let me have you, Lily" James said in a deep, husky voice, only partially asking her for permission.

"Yes! Make love to me, James," Lily breathed, sighing as her lips met his, arching her body to meet him. James possessively dug his fingertips into her hips. He broke their kiss and let his forehead rest on Lily's as he gently pushed forward into her open legs, watching the blissful expression that filled her features. Lily arched her back ever so slightly as James moved smoothly forward and their bodies locked together in a natural and seemingly fluid way. Lily could not move much at all for the moment, as James's hands held her hips surprisingly still and pinned to the bed.

James held Lily very still for several moments, letting all of their attention focus on where their bodies met. Lily shuddered and whimpered at the overwhelming sensation but frustrating lack of movement. James trailed kisses down Lily's neck, teasing her. And while their initial contact was wonderful, it did nothing to quench his desire.

"James….please," Lily panted almost inaudibly, trying without success to rock her hips forward. James grinned against Lily's neck as he slowly began to establish a rhythm between their bodies.

"Lily," he breathed letting her name roll off of his tongue and hang in the air between them as absolutely nothing else could. Lily moaned as he slid into her, creating that unearthly friction between them and fueling her passion. She let her hands glide down his back, contouring to every curve of his body, the heat of his skin searing into her own body. She let her head fall back and closed her eyes, letting her body swim in the wonderful feeling he was evoking in her.

James moved his right hand around to cup Lily's neck at the base of her skull and let his left hand stray, his fingertips lightly caressing Lily's side, shoulder, arm, any section of skin within its reach. He lowered his torso, his head mere inches from drawing even with Lily's as she closed her eyes and let her head fall back on the pillows, making it so that Lily's chin was almost resting on his shoulder. Lily whimpered and rested her hands on his shoulders. His slow movements were driving her crazy. She pressed her lips to his collarbone, trailed them down his shoulder, and back up his neck, relishing the taste of his skin.

James shivered at the sensation of Lily's lips moving over his skin and taking her unspoken encouragement, began to move faster, small pleasurable noises deep in his throat with every thrust.

Lily could hear her moans mingling with the noises James was making, could taste the salt on his skin, feel him moving in time with her, within her, and took in his wonderful scent, her breathing labored under the exertion of their bodies. Her senses were filled with him, and only him, and knowing this sent little shockwaves of pleasure through her body, coupling with the wonderful sensation that James was causing to build within her.

The sounds of their bodies moving together, their breathing, their moans; James felt his body tense more and more with each thrust under the plethora of other senses that bombarded him. The feeling of Lily all around him, their bodies melded together and moving as a molten liquid, the smell of Lily's hair, her skin, made James grow increasingly lightheaded as he continued to rock forward faster and faster.

Lily moaned loudly as James hit a rather sensitive spot within her, tightening her grip on James's shoulders and instinctively opening her legs a bit wider. That was incredible! If she moved a little to the...

"Oh!" she cried out, as the pleasure and tension increased tenfold. James groaned loudly as Lily shifted, presumably pursuing a sensitive spot. A bolt of pleasure shot through his abdomen as Lily cried out, and the tension that was slowly mounting began to increase more quickly. James continued to move smoothly and quickly, driving himself deep within her only to pull back slightly and do it again. His movements created an almost unbearable friction between their bodies, and James found himself gasping for breath through waves of pleasure.

James drove into her over and over, into that one spot that was making her mind explode into little rivulets of pleasure that coursed themselves through her veins and into her entire body. But it was getting too intense. She couldn't take it anymore. Her body was willing her over the edge, and finally, she relented, letting the pleasure crash over her, crying out in intense pleasure.

James felt Lily tense around him, and the sound of her crying out in pleasure was making him crazy. He continued to push forward over and over, deeper and deeper until finally the tension and raw pleasure became too much. With Lily's cries ringing in his ears, James felt himself lose control, and he too cried out in pleasure as the wonderful sensation wracked his body.

Lily whimpered as she felt him tense within her, all coherent thought totally lost to memory. Breathing heavily, she rested her chin on James shoulder, totally spent, trying to make the world stop spinning as James's body relaxed on top of her. Instead of rolling over to lie beside her, he simply continued to lay on her and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist.

James let out a long, low groan of pleasure as his mind finally began to clear. He lay there for sometime, Lily's chin against his right shoulder, their bodies still pressed together in a passionate, lovers embrace. He let his head rest beside Lily's on her pillow, his face turned away, thinking.

James thought about how much he loved this woman, who willing shared her body and soul with him on countless occasions; who was loving, caring and kind even when her temper threatened to show through; who, at not even twenty years old, was gladly carrying his child. He was thinking about all that they had been through in such a short amount of time, and everything that he was about to put her through.

Lily lay there with her eyes closed, idly stroking James's hair, feeling his heart beating against her chest. He was the love of her life. Tears fell from her eyes as she realized the implications of their situation. They were deceiving their closest friends, putting themselves in a very dangerous situation. She held him close, never wanting to let him go, but knowing that she had to.

After several more minutes of simply enjoying each other's embrace, James sighed disappointedly and gently disentangled himself from Lily's hold. Tonight she seemed more reluctant than usual to let go of him. Once their bodies were separate and once again their own, James turned to face Lily. His fingers traced the outline of her face as he watched her, not even trying to hide the sad, grim look that spread over his own features.

"Please... please stay, just for a little while..." Lily whispered, closing her eyes and hiding her face against his chest, trying to take in as much of him as she could before he had to go.

James nodded, silently acquiescing to her request, and gathered Lily tightly in his arms. "I just need to make sure I'm gone before dawn."

"I know," said Lily heavily, closing her eyes again and allowing herself to sink into James's firm embrace. Several quiet minutes passed and then, unable to ignore his growing sense of guilt any long, James lifted Lily's chin up so that he could look her in the eye. Lily opened her eyes sleepily, but returned his intense hazel gaze with her own emerald one. He lightly trailing his fingers over her lips and kissed her gently.

"I'm sorry, Lily," James murmured.

"For what? Making love to me?" Lily asked, smiling gently and chuckling. She kissed James on the tip of his nose. As far as Lily was concerned, there was nothing for him to apologize for. The next few hours went by much too quickly. It seemed like only moments had passed when James finally and reluctantly got up. She did as well, pulling on a more conservative nightdress and robe, and sliding on her slippers.

They had shared a sleepless night. After their love-making, the couple had simply held each other, occasionally whispering loving words to or gently caressing the other. They did not sleep however, and as the clock on Lily's nightstand clicked onto the four o'clock hour, James had decided it was time to get his things together and go.

James sighed and made his way into the bathroom where he showered quickly. He was not sure when he might get a chance to shower again and he took advantage of the luxury. Coming back into the bedroom, James got dressed. He chose practical black slacks and a black button up shirt to go under a black work robe. Often he would glance over at Lily as he went about his business, knowing that she was watching everything he did. James avoided her gaze however, as he went to the closet and got out a small suitcase. He began packing several changes of clothes as well as an assortment of other sundry items and a few more obscure magical items.

Finally, James was ready to leave. It had seemed to take days to pack, though it had really taken a little less than an hour. James sighed and picked up his suitcase, turning to face Lily.

Lily fought back the tears that were threatening to fall again as she and James walked out of the bedroom and into the hallway together in silence. She smiled to herself. He was so brave, and so wonderful. And he needed to do this. She opened the door for him, her eyes fixed on his face.

James smiled at her, grateful for her strength. If at this moment she had asked him to stay, he was not at all sure that he could turn her down.

"I love you, Lily. I'll be back in a few days," he said quietly, before leaning in to kiss her.

Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her lips forcefully, kissing him desperately, trying to give him one last piece of her before he left. A single tear left her eye and rolled down her cheek. Neither of them noticed.

James gently pulled away from Lily's kiss, and brushed away the tears that coursed silently down her cheeks. Then, gathering every modicum of concentration he could muster, James changed his appearance to that of the man who had entered the small house only a few hours previously.

"Bye, love," James mouthed, and, after glancing around, he apparated.

Lily gave him a watery smile before he vanished silently. The air where James had been standing smelled faintly of him for a second longer, and then all traces of him were gone. She stood there for a moment, staring at the spot where he had vanished. He was really gone. And now, as far as the rest of the world was concerned, he was dead. Dead.

He could not believe the news. James, dead? How could that be?! No one was saying anything about the details, but the story seemed to be that he was murdered with a very nasty curse. That was all that Sirius, Peter, or Remus had been able to learn from anyone. Remus had just returned from an errand for Dumbledore when he heard the news, and even though it was barely 5 o'clock in the morning, Remus knew that Lily would be awake and he knew that she would need all the comfort she could get.

So, intending to lend a friendly and likewise grief-stricken shoulder to cry on, Remus had set out for the small home his friends had shared. He apparated to a spot a little ways down the street, and made his way slowly toward the small house. His footsteps echoed coldly on the pavement and tears flowed down his cheeks, though he continually brushed them roughly away. 'I have to be strong for Lily,' he thought, knowing that she was a wreck and that she needed her friends.

Once he had received the news and planned to go see Lily, Remus had hoped that Sirius might be there already. But he had soon discovered that Sirius's grief was too much to share with his friends yet. Sirius had instead decided to drink himself into a stupor. Remus made a mental note to check up on his friend later. At the very least, Peter should have been at the Potter's small home, Remus reflected, trying to think if he had heard from Peter since receiving the news.

Remus drew level with the house and was about to cross the street into the yard. Then, something totally unexpected happened...

The door to the house swung open to reveal Lily, in her dressing gown, and a tall man, wearing all black, whose face was in the shadows. Remus froze. He backed slowly into the shadows cast by the two houses nearly directly across the street from Lily's front door. Remus stood there at a complete loss for what to think, and the bottom seemed to drop out of his stomach as he witnessed Lily wrapping her arms around the mans neck and kissing him as though he were the love of her life.

Remus swallowed hard, a painful pressure building on his chest. He could not remember the number of times he had seen Lily kiss James that way, and his mind screamed at him that he could not possibly be seeing what he was seeing; that it did not mean what he thought it meant. But no matter how he tried to reason with himself, no explanation but one presented itself, and Remus did not like that explanation.

The man in black turned his head, glancing up and down the street, and Remus felt his throat tighten. The man was older, probably in his mid to late thirties. He had dark eyes and dark brown hair that grew to his shoulders, but was tied neatly back, as well as stubble forming over his chin and upper lip. Remus did not know him; did not want to know him. He wished that he could erase the memory of the man, but knew that it was impossible.

Then a new emotion overcame him. Remus found himself truly angry at Lily for the first time in his life. How could she be kissing that man just hours after James…? A part of Remus's mind screamed at him that there HAD to be a reasonable explanation, but he felt too betrayed to listen. Throwing caution and manners to the wind, Remus stepped out of the shadows and had come to the front door of the quaint little house in moments.

He knocked briskly, trying to suppress all of the mean and angry thoughts that were spreading through him like poison.

**A/N: Oh yeah, please review:-D**


	12. The Witch and the Werewolf

**A/N: Yay!!! Chapter 12! Yeah, I know, "Finally!" But better late than never right? Well I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review!!!!**

Lily could not believe that she would have to play a grieving widow. She had come so close to actually being one, but now, she had to pretend be one, even if it wasn't true. She couldn't stand out here all night, though. It wasn't safe, not without James here... "Without James". How could those two little words make her feel so empty inside? Lily turned and went back inside the house. She had just gone back into her bedroom when she heard a quiet but urgent knock on the front door. Apprehensively she walked back through the living room, gathering her wand off of the floor where she had let it drop hours earlier.

Remus waited for a few moments before knocking again. Then the thought occurred to him that maybe Lily was not going to answer the door. Perhaps she did not feel that she owed him the courtesy of answering a few questions. With that thought eating away at him, Remus let out a frustrated growl, then he broke one of the unspoken laws of decent wizards and apparated into the house. It was a good thing that when James had placed anti-apparition spells on the house he had left loop holes that allowed Sirius, Remus, and Peter to pass through.

"Lily, I need to talk to you," Remus called, surprising himself at how calm and perhaps simply grief-stricken he sounded.

Lily jumped as Remus's voice rang loudly through the house. Where had he come from? He was never rude enough to just barge in uninvited. "Remus?" she asked, opening the bedroom door and feigning having just woken up. "Remus, please. Not now. I... I can't. I...I just can't..." Real tears leaked out of her eyes, which were not there for the reason they were supposed to have been, but were real enough none the less. She hated lying to her best friends. She hated to be the cause of their grief, being unable to tell them why this had to be.

Remus watched Lily walk into the living room in her dressing gown. Remus had been her friend since they were in their first year at Hogwarts and he could tell that something was going on with her. Her tears were not for James's death, Remus knew that much. The fact that she would lie to him, as well as what he had just seen, were sending a boiling fury through Remus unlike anything he had ever experienced….in his human state that is.

"You can stop with the fake tears, Lily," Remus snapped, his voice much harsher than Lily had ever heard it. "What's going on here?" Remus demanded, his anger uncharacteristically visible. Lily was one of his best friends, possibly his best friend, but for her to do something like this. James had been…dead…less than twenty-four hours and she was… Clearly this had been going on longer than just tonight.

"W-what?" asked Lily, taken aback. Remus was never like this with her. Never. He looked angrier than she'd ever seen him, and it scared her.

"Fake tears? Remus, what are you saying? You aren't making any sense," she said, hurt and bewildered.

Remus stood deathly still, his blood pounding in his ears, then his eyes widened. A feral growl rumbled through his consciousness and in his mind's eye he saw glowing yellow orbs staring back at him, threatening to take over if he did not assert his own control. He shook his head roughly as though to wake himself from a bad dream. For a moment there he had felt his inner werewolf brush against his conscious mind, and it had threatened to shred him and take over his mind and body. As a man, he did not want to feel the werewolf stirring within him that way ever again. This realization, however, did nothing to lessen his anger, disappointment, and grief, but he doubled his efforts in controlling it better, keeping it in check.

"Lily, I saw you with that man. I was coming to...to tell you how sorry I was about...James," he barely managed to choke out his friends name through a wave of grief and despair. "I can't believe that you would...would…"

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, taking a step back from him. He was not making any sense at all. What man? What did she do? And didn't he have any idea the hell he was causing her, looking at her like that?! Like she had betrayed him somehow… She was doing this because she had to, but he could not have found out about the plan, could he? The only people who knew the truth were her and James.

Remus's attitude suddenly changed and he took a step toward her.

"Lily, please. I'm not going to ask you who he was, or...or how long this has been going on. But...I think you owe me an explanation, since James...will never hear one."

Lily suddenly realized, with a shockwave of anger, just what Remus was on about. How could he even think that?! Cold anger swept through her like ice. How dare he even consider that she had been unfaithful to James? She had no idea where he had come to that conclusion, but one thing was clear. Her face hardened.

"Get out of my house," she hissed dangerously, and turning on her heel she stormed into her bedroom and slammed the door in his face.

Remus was _not_ going to take a door in his face for an answer. How could she have betrayed James like that? Betrayed their own friendship through her actions? The anger that he had fought to control only moments before seemed to boil and sear in his chest. His blood thumped loudly in his ears and a red haze of absolute fury dropped over his surroundings.

"LILY EVANS," Remus hollered as he barged into the bedroom behind her. "You will tell me, what in God's name possessed you to do this!" Remus took two steps and grabbed Lily's shoulders roughly. "You're pregnant for CHRIST SAKE!" As the words left his lips, a gruesome realization came over him and he let go of Lily, taking several steps backwards. A look bordering between disbelief and disgust played over his tired features. "The baby...?"

Lily's eyes widened in shock and fear as Remus grabbed her. He had NEVER acted like this before. She had not thought him capable of being violent. And then it turned ugly. She could tell by the look in his eyes that Remus had begun to question whether her child was James's. And that made her feel sick. She stumbled backwards as Remus let go of her very suddenly, and had to grab the nightstand behind her to catch her balance.

"How could you say that? How could you even think..." she choked, "…even for a SECOND that James wasn't the father of my child?! And how DARE you even THINK of accusing me of being unfaithful to him?!?! He DIED not twenty-four hours ago, Remus Lupin, and you come barging into MY HOUSE at all hours of the morning, accusing me of cheating on the LOVE of my LIFE?!?!?!"

"If that's not what happened then explain it to me Lily, because it certainly looked a whole HELL of alot like you were KISSING some strange older man!!!!" Remus was admittedly very confused about Lily's reaction, but it only seemed to make him angrier. Why was she still saying that James was the love of her life if everything pointed to the fact that she had probably been meeting with this man for some time? Then it occurred to Remus that she could simply be lying. He had never known her to show any deceptive or unfaithful qualities so it had taken him a while to come to this realization that she might just be lying. Remus glared angrily at her.

"I wouldn't have thought that you could do something like that Lily. I don't know...maybe you didn't need me to come over to offer a shoulder to cry on. All you had to do was call your friend and he came over to comfort you straight away," Remus finished bitterly, but as soon as the words had left his mouth he felt sick and he hated himself for saying them. He hated that they might be true.

"So you think a good round of FUCKING some other man would cure all my grief about my DEAD HUSBAND?!?!" Lily nearly yelled.

"Well it certainly SEEMS that way, YES!!!" Remus yelled back at her.

"I know what you saw, and you have NO idea what you're talking about!!!" Lily cried. God, she didn't know how she was going to get out of this. Remus was not going to give up. She knew him too well to think that.

"You're right. I don't know what I'm talking about. The Lily I knew would never do something like that. I really thought you loved him, Lily. Looks like you fooled us all," he spat.

Lily couldn't handle this. "I DID love him! More than anyone else in the world!" she said, dissolving into tears and sinking down onto the bed, her face in her hands. She couldn't keep this from him. Not after he had seen James leave.

Remus stood there for a moment breathing heavily and watching as Lily dissolved into tears.

"Look, Lily, I...I just...I don't know what to think anymore. You and James...you two were a constant, something that I could always count on...true love. Now...I just don't know anymore." Remus turned, intending to leave, but one question tore to the front of his mind and had tumbled from his lips before he could stop it.

"Why? Why would you…did you...?" he trailed off, shaking his head not knowing what to think.

"Remus," shouted Lily, sobbing. "That _was_ James!" She could not speak for a few extraordinarily long minutes. She could only sit there and cry, her head in her hands. Oh god, what had she done?! This could ruin James's opportunity to move around unnoticed. Remus stood there, staring blankly at the woman who sat crying on her bed.

"What?" he asked after several long moments. It was all his brain could make him say. He was completely and utterly confused. Lily looked up at him.

"That was James," she choked through her tears. "He... he's alive." She closed her eyes tightly and braced herself for the outburst he was bound to throw her way for not telling him James was alive.

Remus took a few dazed steps and sat down next to Lily on the bed. What had his friends gotten themselves into that made it so that James had to pretend he was dead? Remus turned to look at Lily. She was crying harder than ever and she looked as though she was just waiting for him to blow up at her.

"I'm really sorry, Lily," Remus whispered. "But I don't understand. Why did you feel that you needed to fool your friends? Sirius is driving himself crazy with trying to find out exactly what happened and...I..." Remus let the sentence die unfinished. James and Lily must be in real trouble to do something like this.

"We couldn't trust anyone!" Lily sobbed. "James and I have information, information that Voldemort wants to make sure dies with us," she said, shuddering. "He used... used Invertias on James, and nearly killed him. Now he thinks James is dead, and once he finds out I know what I know, he'll be after me as well!" Lily looked up at Remus, her face streaked with tears.

"He had to leave! We can't be seen together for, oh, God knows how long! I don't know whether we'll ever see each other again! He might be walking toward his death right now and there's NOTHING anyone can do!" She collapsed against Remus's chest, sobbing and completely overwhelmed.

Remus hesitated for only a fraction of a second before wrapping his arms around his friend.

"Shh, It'll be okay," he muttered brushing Lily's mussed hair out of her face and then rubbing her back comfortingly. "If James is half as brilliant as he thinks he is, he'll be fine."

Remus found that he was terrified. He was afraid for James, for Lily, and for their unborn child. If Voldemort was after them, they would need every ounce of resourcefulness that Remus knew they had.

"Just tell me if there is anything I can do," Remus offered, trying to help in anyway he could. "And...I'm so sorry, Lily, about...what I said."

"You had every right to be suspicious," Lily said, wiping her eyes and looking up at him. "We shouldn't have kept it from you, or Sirius. I hated doing it, but James made me swear..."

She sighed and got up slowly, then she took a closer look at Remus.

"You look half-starved!" she said in surprise. "Come into the kitchen and I'll fix you something. And I'm not taking no for an answer!" she added fiercely, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the bedroom toward the kitchen.

Remus opened his mouth to protest but he could see that it was not going to do any good. Lily was going to feed him whether he liked it or not. Remus smirked, what a good mother quality. He followed her into the kitchen and took a seat at the table.

"So, James really is alright?" he asked after a moment, not daring to hope that it was actually true.

"Yes, well, 'alright' is a relative term," she said, putting a saucepan on the stove and starting to make a thick, creamy soup, stirring it with her wand and letting it simmer, while handing Remus a bottle of butterbeer. "Physically, he's fine. Mentally, we're both... very shaken."

Remus accepted the butterbeer and set it down un-opened on the table. As the stress, anxiety, grief and anger from a few minutes ealier faded, he was left feeling drained and exhausted. His own problems also returned to him, now that he was fairly certain that James was alright for the time being. He put his face in his hands and, resting his elbows on the table, he muttered something unintelligible. The owls and the recruitment tactics, though not as frequent as one might have expected where always present in Remus's mind. He may go almost a month without hearing from a Death Eater trying to recruit him, or he may only have a two day respite from them. Remus wondered if there was really anything any of them could do to stop this, but then, he reasoned, if anyone could stop Voldemort it was James and Lily.

"What?" said Lily sharply, whirling around on the spot. She had heard the words 'Death Eater' and 'recruit'. "Remus?" she asked, striding over to the table.

"It looks like James and I aren't the only ones who are keeping secrets from their friends," she said rather angrily, pulling his hands away so he was forced to look her in the eye.

"No, Lily. Don't worry about me. God knows you have enough to worry about without my problems," Remus said, giving her a slightly horrified look, how could he have let that slip?

"Remus," Lily pleaded, her eyes full of concern. "I want to know what happened. Please," she added, pleadingly. "I told you our problem, now it's your turn. No more secrets." She reached over and placed a hand over one of his, squeezing it gently.

Remus met her gaze for an instant before turning away and taking a deep, steadying breath. "I...I'm being actively recruited by them. I'm considered an asset because of...my condition, and they... I keep refusing, but...they're very persistent people, Lily..." Remus trailed off, still resolutely looking away from her.

Lily gazed at him, fear in her eyes. She knew he would never go over to their side, never in a hundred, thousand years. But she feared for his safety. If he refused them one too many times...Lily shuddered.

"Remus," she said, "You're spending the night here. And that's final. They won't be able to track you here."

"What?" Remus asked, surprised. "No, Lily. I don't want to intrude...at least, not anymore that I already have," he gave her an apologetic look, "Besides, I have to get back to my flat. I've got loads of work to do." Remus finished with somewhat less conviction than he had started out with. He knew that it was useless to argue with Lily once she had made up her mind.

"I can easily bring that here. Just tell me what you need," Lily said obstinately, "and I'll summon it. And yes, Remus Lupin, I CAN do cross-country summoning." She smiled smugly at him. "You might be in danger, and damned if I'm going to let another person I love put themselves at risk more than I absolutely have to."

Remus sighed and leaned back in his chair, defeated.

"Fine," he sighed, "You're going to do it whether I consent to it or not." The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as he met the stubborn look on her face. "I just need any of the mail that I've received and a change of clothes..." Remus said, part of him wishing that Lily was not so obstinate and the other part loving her for the pushy person that she could be sometimes.

"I won't be able to stay here forever though, Lily. I know you want to, but you can't protect me forever."

Lily nodded solemnly, but now was not the time to discuss the future. Now was the time that she wanted to do anything in her power to help one of her dearest and closest friends. She went into the drawing room, leaving Remus sitting in the kitchen and shaking his head. When she returned, she was holding a change of clothes and a stack of letters.

"Here you are," she said smugly, laying them in his lap. "Let me go make you up a bed. And I think I'd better tell Sirius. God only knows what he'll do if we don't tell him..."

He accepted his things and gave her a grateful smile that did not even begin to tell her how grateful he was that he did not have to spend another night alone in that God-foresaken flat.

"I'll tell him," Remus interjected shortly, "You've had enough trauma for one evening I'm quite sure." He gave her another highly apologetic look and went into the living room.

"Thank you, Remus," Lily said, making her way to the hall. Lily opened the closet and pulled out some bedclothes. She headed into the living room and transfigured the couch into a small bed with a wave of her wand. Then, with another wave, she fitted the bedclothes to it with ease. With that finished, she went back to preparing a very early breakfast. Although, the sky was beginning to lighten a bit as Lily glanced up out of the window over the sink.

Once Lily was finished making up his bed, Remus picked up a small mirror that was always on an end table in the living room. He took a deep breath and prepared himself to confront Sirius about what was going on.

**A/N (again): Lol. Oh yeah, if you watch/like Bleach, you should definitely check out my new fic, ****Je m'en Fiche****. Review!!! ;-D**


	13. Incognito

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter. Okay, so, finals are this week and next week, but I definitely have had this almost finished for like a month now and I felt REALLY bad about not getting it posted. So here we are! I hope you enjoy and remember to review!**

"That's really not necessary, Sirius," Remus found himself saying into the small mirror. Sirius was taking this very hard, just as Remus had feared he would.

"Oh yes it is, Moony! I'm gonna kill him!! I can't believe he'd keep something like that from us!" raged Sirius from the other side of the mirrors.

"Oh, calm down, Sirius!" said Lily loudly, bustling back into the kitchen. "For heavens' sake!"

"Calm down?? CALM DOWN!?!?!? I THOUGHT MY BEST FRIEND WAS DEAD, LILY!! DEAD!!!!! WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?!

"LOOK, Sirius," Remus said loudly, trying to get Sirius's attention and break the tirade that had been going intermittently for a solid fifteen minutes already. "It was what James felt had to be done. I'm sure he didn't _want_ to make us think he was dead. But...you know as well as I do that it takes some serious guts to stay ahead of…_them_." Remus did not know what else to say, he could not claim that he had not expected Sirius to act this way. Sirius sighed in frustration.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I still resent that you two thought you couldn't trust me," he said, looking over Remus's shoulder at Lily and scowling.

"We didn't know if we could trust ANYONE, Sirius, although if we HAD agreed to tell someone, you and Remus would have been first on our list, I can assure you!" Lily snapped.

Sirius still seemed very miffed at her to say the least. Remus sighed and gave Sirius a stern look.

"Listen, it's late and I think we could all use some sleep," he said, noting the dark circles under his companion's eyes and knowing that he seemed to have perpetual dark circles anymore. "Good-night, Sirius," Remus said pointedly, placing the mirror face down, back on its end table, ending the discussion for the night.

"Thanks again, for all of this, Lily," Remus said, gesturing toward the fold out couch. "And I really truly am sorry that I ever doubted you."

"Don't worry about it," Lily said, wiping down the countertops and stove.

Remus caught Lily's wrist as she made another sweep over the countertops with the rag. She looked up at him, slightly surprised.

"I am worried about it," Remus countered in a low tone. "You're one of the only people I trust in the world, Lily, and I almost threw that trust away. Thank you for…for always being there for me," he finished in a husky tone, a hint of pink working its way into his pale face.

Remus was not used to letting people see his emotions so freely. Anytime he opened up (and it was usually to Lily) he always felt somewhat ashamed for relying on someone else. He knew that he needed the support of friends though; knew he needed her support.

Lily smiled warmly at her dear friend and, without a thought, wrapped her arms around him in a reassuring hug.

"You're welcome, Remus. And…we'll get through this, all of us."

And with that, she released the young man who had always been there for a shoulder to cry on, especially during their school age days. Then she added, "And really, don't worry about it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. Now, you look like you could really use some sleep. There are pajamas in that pile of clothes I summoned, I do believe," she said, wringing out the rag in the sink.

Remus watched as Lily busied herself with household tasks and shook his head slightly. After a few moments he walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Lily. You need sleep more than any of us. If not for you then...for James Jr.," Remus's lips twitched into a rather uncharacteristic mischeivious smile.

"I'm DEFINITELY not naming him James. The James I have now is more than enough for me!" Lily laughed. "Actually, I was thinking about Harry. What do you think?"

Remus thought about it for a moment, then smiled, "I think Harry is a great name, Lily." With that, Remus left the room to change into his pajamas that Lily had indeed summoned.

Lily smiled after Remus as he went to change for bed. She poured herself a glass of water from the tap and sat down at the small kitchen table. Looking out of the window, she sighed. She hoped James would come back soon, and in one piece. She yawned hugely, but couldn't bring herself to get up. She was so tired. She laid her head down on the table, and was asleep in minutes.

Remus walked back into the kitchen, intending to tell Lily to go to bed again, but found that she was already sound asleep; her head resting on the kitchen table. Smiling warmly at her, Remus gathered her up in his arms and walked back to her bedroom. He settled her into bed and pulled the blankets up over her sleeping form.

"Good-night Lily," he whispered as he stood up. He hoped that James would be back soon. He could see what a toll James's absence was taking on Lily already. Closing the door behind him, he yawned hugely and was sound asleep as soon as he laid down on the small, but surprisingly comfortable, little bed in the livingroom.

* * *

James, or as he was now going to call himself, Gareth Naxen, slipped easily into the small, cramped and dingy office of a small, cramped and dingy apartment building in the slums of Morocco. After speaking to the man at the counter in a fluent French dialect, James managed to secure a small flat that would serve as an inconspicuous place for him to lay low for awhile. Taking the key, James, or rather, Gareth mounted the stairs that led to apartment number 210. He opened the door and immediately jumped back as a rat skittered out of the apartment. Giving the room a very cross look, he closed the door behind him and cast a few charms to at least make the flat livable.

* * *

When Lily woke up in the morning, she found that Remus had already gone, but not before leaving her a note of thanks and telling her that he would be glad if she would join him for dinner sometime that week. Sipping at her tea and reading it, she smiled at the parchment fondly. He really was wonderful. 

By the time eight o'clock had rolled around, she was fully dressed and ready for work. She apparated to the ministry to take care of some paperwork she had been meaning to file and once she was finished she headed down the long fourth floor corridor, which was widely deserted, since it was a weekend. Lily sighed and rubbed at her temples, she had a pounding headache and her morning sickness was really beginning to seem like all the time sickness. She turned to leave, hoping to stop at her favorite café and get some tea before going back to work.

Mary-Ann heard a loud crack issuing from Lily's office as she walked by. Mary-Ann was a young woman of about 19, and she was reasonably attractive with curly blonde hair and ice blue eyes. She was a bit short, only boasting 5'0" at her tallest barefooted self, and she had a little more curve to her than some taller skinnier women; women like Lily. Oh, how she hated Evans...Potter, that is. Lily was so perfect. She was beautiful, smart, talented, and, as far as Mary-Ann was concerned, she had been married to the sexiest man she had ever met. Mary-Ann knocked lightly on the door then, without waiting for a response, walked into the office, a simpering smiled plastered on her boney face.

"Oh, Lily, I just heard. I'm so sorry about what happened to Mr. Potter."

Lily sighed and smiled sadly at Mary-Ann.

"Thank you," she said. "That means a lot to me." She could tell that the woman didn't really mean what she said, but then again, James wasn't really dead, so that didn't matter.

Mary-Ann forced a sympathetic look.

"Yes, I know how hard it must be, especially with...the little one on the way. I know some of us are wondering whether you're going to keep the baby. I mean, I know a baby is a huge responsibility for two people…I wouldn't go through with having the baby if my husband died. It's just not fair to the baby." Mary-Ann gave a sympathetic smile and eyed Lily appraisingly.

She knew that the other woman would sense the mean intent in her words, and she was almost looking forward to unsettling the perfect Lily. Of course, she reasoned, it was almost too low; picking on a pregnant woman whose husband had just died, but Mary-Ann found that she _did_ want to cause Lily pain. Why should Lily have had that perfect life; even if only for a short time? And why didn't she, Mary-Ann, have someone like James? A loving husband who would stop in for a quick shag in your office any time...how could anyone compete with that? Unfortunately it was not much of a secret that James occasionally made visits to Lily's office, although more frequently Lily took rather extended lunch breaks and no one seemed to know where she went. Mary-Ann, however, had a very good idea as to where the lovely Lily was during those times.

Lily pursed her lips.

"I'm keeping my child," she responded coldly. "It's the only thing I have left of him, and I wouldn't give that up for anything."

She glared at Mary-Ann. What a horrible thing to say! Even if the woman did not particularly like Lily, that was a really low thing to say.

Mary-Ann narrowed her eyes, no longer pretending that she was sympathetic.

"Well, I hope you two will be very happy together," Mary-Ann said, not at all trying to be civil. She turned and headed back towards the door of Lily's office.

"It really is a shame about James," she called over her shoulder, "he was soooo good at what he did."

Mary-Ann gave Lily a downright evil look, and knew that the other woman had understood her innuendo. "At the ministry, I mean," she added, her lips curling into a tight smile.

"My husband would never have given you the time of day," said Lily scathingly. "And pretending that he would have is really quite pathetic. I almost pity you, Mary-Ann. Almost," with that, Lily waved her wand, and her office door closed with a loud snap and locked itself.

Mary-Ann stormed away from Lily's office seething anger and hatred. She would get back at that Lily Evans if it was the last thing she did.

* * *

James walked steadily down a street near his flat. The sounds of loud, drunken voices and laughter reached his ears as he came upon a seemingly popular tavern. He weaved in and out through a few people that were mingling on the side-walk and made his way into the tavern. After placing an order for dinner with the owner, he walked to an empty table by the fireplace and sat down. 

As he watched the people in the tavern for suspicious qualities, his mind began to wander and his thoughts landed on Lily. She was probably working on something and forgetting to eat supper. With a pang of guilt he wished that he had not left her by herself. Thoughts of Lily were abruptly chased from his mind however, when a rather pretty tavern wench boldly walked up and straddled his lap, leaning in suggestively as she poured beer into a glass and set it by James' hand on the table.

James silently cursed the arrogance that had made him disguise himself as a relatively attractive man. For the duration of his underground spying, James had adopted the name, Gareth Naxen and the looks to go with the name. His alter-ego was the same height as he was, had cinnamon colored skin with bright, gray-green eyes, as well as lightly graying, dark brown hair that achieved an elegance that his own hair could never reach naturally. He had decided that about thirty-years-old was a good, inconspicuous age and had tried his best to stick to his disguise and not let too many of his own personality quirks show through.

James looked the pretty blonde squarely in her clear blue eyes, and raised an eyebrow questioningly at her. She smiled and leaned forward, pressing her body close to him, before whispering, "What's a handsome gentleman like yourself doing all alone? Wouldn't you like some company tonight?"

The woman pulled slowly away, but not before giving her hips a seductive twitch.

"No, thank you," James replied coldly, grabbing the woman's wrist and half dragging her off of his lap.

"And here I thought such an attractive man would be looking for a good time," she replied slightly disappointedly. She put both hands on the arms of James's chair and leaned in until there was barely an inch between their faces.

"Are you sure?" she asked, moving in what was surely a strategic way to make her breast more prominent.

"I said "no", now leave. Before I make you leave," James' magically deeper and rougher voice growled. This woman was causing a lot of trouble for someone who was not worth a second glance. He continued to glare at the blonde woman and she finally walked away, looking rather disappointed. James sat back in his chair and looked around the tavern. Hopefully that wench had not drawn too much undo attention to him, but it seemed as though most of the people in the tavern were occupied with their own affairs and they paid the stranger little attention.

A waitress brought James's food. Setting it down on the table she smiled and winked at him before walking back to the kitchen, a little extra swing in her hips. James shook his head, this really was all his fault, and he could not very well change his face now that he was trying to blend in. He sighed and ate his food, his thoughts wandering back to Lily, even as he kept his eyes peeled for something worth noticing.

* * *

Lily slumped in her chair. She had such a headache. Every bit of this day had been far too long. Once or twice, she had thought about popping in on James, but then she remembered that he was not at his office. 

She sighed and got up. Grabbing her coat, she disapparated and reappeared inside her house. And then it hit her. Her necklace! She took it off hurriedly and looked into the stone, picturing James.

A man she'd never seen before (obviously James in disguise) sat in a pub, a blonde woman on his lap. Lily felt her blood boil, but a surge of fierce pride welled up inside her when she saw her husband flatly refuse the woman's company. She kissed the image of her husband in the stone, hoping vainly that James might feel it. She felt like singing. In fact, she did, humming to herself as she put the tea on.

* * *

James grumbled tiredly as he rolled out of bed. It was just growing dark outside his window as he walked into the sorry excuse for a bathroom that was in his flat. The man that looked back at him from the mirror was beginning to become familiar and it was not quite as shocking every time he looked into a mirror to see this face looking back at him. 

In a few minutes he was dressed and ready to spend another night, his third so far, collecting information on anyone that might be involved. He had already discovered that the Death Eaters had a new recruit. The young man bragged a little too loudly about his new position as a small group of people gathered around him in the tavern. James had decided that tonight he would follow Mr. Martin to his home, and see what he knew.

* * *

Lily finished her letter and sealed it with her wax seal. She then sat it on the desk in front of her and concentrated on James' face, willing the letter to go to him. And after a moment, there was a faint 'pop', and the letter had vanished. Lily was elated. She just knew that her modified apparition would work. She reached for her necklace. Sure enough, there was James, in a squalid little flat, and there was her letter, newly arrived, on his pillow.

* * *

James stuck his head out of the bathroom, staring around the room his heart beating wildly in his chest. He'd heard a faint 'pop', which could only mean one thing. Someone had apparated. Then he saw it. A letter was lying on his pillow where there had been nothing before. James sighed, trying to calm his frantically beating heart, for a second there he had been ready for action. Walking over to the bed, he set down his wand, which he did not remember picking up and he lifted the letter from his pillow smiling. He really did have a brilliant wife. Opening the letter, he scanned its contents, hoping that everything was alright. 

**James,**

**You're going to kill me, but Remus came over the night you left, and saw us, well, say goodbye, and then you disguised yourself, and he thought I was kissing someone else, and that I was cheating on you. Let me tell you, I've never heard Remus yell in my entire life the way he did that night. So I just couldn't keep it from him. And of course Sirius was going spare trying to track down all the Death Eater's he could find and torture them to death, or something along those lines, I'm sure, so Remus told him. I really miss you. It's so lonely in this house without you. Please come home soon. I love you.**

**With all my heart,**

**Lily**

James smiled in spite of himself. He should have realized that somehow or another the other Marauders would find out what was going on. Thinking hard, James tried to figure out a way to send a letter back to Lily. After several minutes it came to him and he nearly hit himself for not thinking of it sooner.

He wrote a short letter, he really did not have time for everything that he wanted to say to her, and sealed it in an envelope. Afterall, Death Eaters never intercepted muggle mail.

Dearest Lily,

Listen to me, I sound like a damned Dickens character. Anyway, I really miss you too, and I think about you all the time. I hope you're okay and that you're taking care of yourself. The baby needs you to stay healthy and strong. I need you to stay healthy and strong. I have a lot of work to do, but I hope to be home soon. I love you, with all my heart.

James

**A/N: Oh, and I tried really hard to use a font other than whatever the heck this boring ugly font is coughTimesNewRomancough. But won't let me. So...the letters are totally boring. However, they are saved on my harddrive with the fonts that I think look most like James and Lily's handwriting. Maybe one day I can post this somewhere that does not stifle font-like creativity lol. Oh...REVIEW plz!**


	14. Betrayal

**A/N: Hey all! I know its been a really long time since I've updated. The reason behind this is the story itself. I know that I said earlier that most of this story is already written (was co-written awhile ago). Well, I just hit a point in the story where the girl that I was writing this with decided that she'd like to make this story pre-pregnant with Harry. Unfortunately we'd already written quite a bit of story with her being pregnant. So yeah, I had to tweak some things to keep it consistent. But anyways, I hope that this is in fact pretty consistent. ENJOY!! And please review! ******

A few days later, Lily smiled at James' letter, sipping at her tea, sitting at the kitchen table in her bathrobe. She had the day off, and she intended to spend it resting. Her thoughts often drifted to James; where he was, how he was doing, if he was in danger, what she was going to do to him when he came home... She blushed at the last thought.

Getting dressed an hour or so later, she thought about popping over to Hogwarts to check in with Professor Dumbledore, but the idea quickly lost its appeal after she realized how often he was away these days. And then, James would KILL her if he found out she had made herself vulnerable to attack by venturing out beyond the house or work. But it was so pretty out today, and she felt the need to be out in the rare sunshine. Being under James-imposed house arrest was not a pleasant thing for anyone, but especially not for Lily.

Lily thought that she might as well go back to work. She could use the overtime to work on the Invertias case, spend time trying to ID the body. She threw a set of black robes on over her casual muggle attire. It was her day off; she had dressed how she pleased.

Apparating into her office with a _pop_, she sat down comfortably at her desk and pulled out the case file, skimming through the pictures she had Gouche take of the marking on the victim's back. It was very definitely a basilisk. She was thinking about heading over to the Dept. of Magical Law Enforcement to check their profiles when she noticed something else. There was more than a basilisk on him. There were scars as well. Many of them were obscured by post-mortem injuries, but now that she took a closer look, she was startled at how many there were.

Mary-Ann strolled down the hall. There was an extra spring in her step today. She had a very important task that would certainly bring her great honor. Knocking on Lily's office door, Mary-Ann waited for a reply.

"Enter," said Lily without looking up from the photograph. When the door opened, however, she did look up. Mary-Ann. Oh, good Lord.

"Yes, Mary-Ann?" she asked somewhat snappishly. "I'm rather busy, so this had better be important to bother me with on my day off..."

"Well, yes it is important," Mary-Ann replied not too politely. "There has been another attack. The attackers used some strange curse on the victim and we were told that you were to be informed of the situation. Though, I really have no idea why they want an ordinary healer with ordinary skills like you." Mary-Ann finished eying the other woman beadily. How she hated the beautiful red-head who looked graceful even in her rising irritation. How badly she wanted to be that beautiful red-head. Oh, but soon...she would be.

Lily stood up quickly. "Where is it?" she asked sharply, suddenly very business-like. "I'll go now."

"Just outside of Ottery St. Catchpole," Mary-Ann replied in a not too concerned voice.

Lily nodded briskly and turned on the spot, vanishing. She knew that a squad of aurors would be near the incident and so she did not think to worry about her own safety. The vacuum of apparation pulled her right into the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole. 'Please don't let it be one of the Weasleys,' she thought to herself. She then noticed she had apparated rather near the burrow, but there was no sign of a murder or an attack anywhere. She had apparated into the wrong spot. Breathing a sigh of relief, she started walking in the opposite direction, headed toward the other out-bounds of the village, looking for the disturbance.

Mary-Ann watched Lily apparate, a cruel smiled twisting her lips. She too, turned on the spot and apparated to a small clearing on the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole.

"She's on her way. Let me talk to her first. I'll use the potion and then you can come and help me restrain her. Why we need her alive, I don't know.."

"Because that is what the Dark Lord commands," a cold voice cut her off. Mary-Ann sniffed and glared at the man with cold gray eyes who stood concealed at the edge of the wood; she turned and walked into the clearing.

"Help!" she called loudly in a slightly disguised voice, seeing Lily walking from the other side of the small village. "Please someone, help!" Mary-Ann stood silently, waiting for Lily to enter the clearing. She waited for the other woman to do the expected, play the hero. Good people were always so easy to predict.

Lily heard someone calling for help. She immediately dashed into the line of trees to her left. She barely registered the fact that there was not another soul in sight. The voice hadn't been far in. She reached the large clearing, and saw, to her astonishment, Mary-Ann. And then, a moment too late, she understood. This was a trap!

As soon as Lily came to a quick stop about twelve feet away, realization dawning on her, Mary-Ann threw a small vial full of a black potion at Lily's feet. Lily knew it was a trap, but she also knew that she had realized what was going on far too late. She briefly considered how angry James would be with her if she died in such a simple trap. The black potion pooled on the ground in front of Lily, before tendrils of black, shimmering mist snaked through the air. They wrapped around Lily, like an affectionate cat. The tendrils felt cold on her skin, as they wrapped tightly around her legs and arms, curling like vines until one tightened almost painfully around Lily's neck. This potion, Mary-Ann had been told, would bind Lily's wandless powers. She would not be able to use them. Voldemort would however, be able to use her powers once she was delivered to him. Mary-Ann stood there watching the shocked look on Lily's face, and soon, half a dozen other Death Eaters had gathered around, their wands raised.

Lily gasped, panicking as the potion curled around her neck like a boa constrictor, but as far as she could tell, she could still breathe. Yet it felt like something was missing from her body, something integral, something very close to her disappeared. Lily did not know what the potion had done to her, but she was surely going to make Mary-Ann pay for her betrayal. Lily looked up at Mary-Ann and drew her wand.

"YOU TRAITOR!!" She shot several curses at the foul woman, one of which left a nasty cut across her cheek. But there were too many Death Eaters for Lily to handle by herself.

Mary-Ann screamed and clapped a hand to her neck as she began to bleed freely. She shot a curse at Lily, which was immediately deflected, but as Lily was blocking Mary-Ann's curse, Malfoy cast a charm that sent ropes snaking all around Lily's slender figure, digging deeply into her pale flesh. Mary-Ann felt certain that she could not wait a moment longer to be able to live Lily's life.

"I don't think you'll be getting away so easily this time, filthy mudblood whore," Malfoys voice cut through the warm summer air like ice.

Lily struggled against the ropes. She managed to land a good hard kick to Malfoy's shin that was sure to leave a good-size bruise before she over-balanced and hit the ground heavily. The air was knocked out of her and for a moment she had to work to breathe again.

"Goddammit! When James gets hold of you HE'LL KILL YOU!" she yelled at the group at large. "But YOU," she spat at Mary-Ann, "YOU are going to wish you'd never MET me."

"Oh, it gets better Lily, dear," Mary-Ann said, crouching down so that she could leer closely at Lily, who's face was flushed red with fury. "Because, dear Jamie isn't even going to know you're gone."

Mary-Ann reached down and ripped out several strands of Lily's long red hair. Pulling out a small vial, she placed the hair in it and drank deeply. She felt for a moment as though she was going to throw up, but she did not, and as a gasp escaped a few of the onlookers, Mary-Ann knew that it had worked.

"No..." breathed Lily. "No!"

She felt tears fill her eyes.

"Don't you hurt him!" she screamed at Mary-Ann. "DON'T YOU DARE HURT HIM! If you do, I'll, I'LL..."

She trailed off as tears fell down across the bridge of her nose to the dusty ground. "If you touch him," she hissed, anger and fear evident in her voice. "If you even touch him..."

Mary-Ann laughed lightly, in a voice that was not her own, and yet it did not seem familiar either. The cruelty that tinged the voice made it...skewed. She would have to work on that. Reaching out, Mary-Ann took the necklace off of Lily's neck and placed it around her own. She had watched Lily and knew that, for whatever reason, Lily _always_ wore this necklace.

"Oh, don't worry Lily, I won't hurt him. I love him," she smiled, "And I plan on showing him just how much."

Lily managed to crane her neck and sank her teeth into Mary-Ann's hand until she could taste blood. She didn't let go until Malfoy and several other Death Eaters pried her off. She spat onto the ground, still glaring defiantly at Mary-Ann.

Mary-Ann screamed as Lily's teeth sank into the flesh of her hand.

"You bitch," she spat vehemently.

Standing up quickly, she backed away nursing her hand. Malfoy sneered indignantly at the entire scene.

"You should not have gotten so close, Mary-Ann," he chided coolly, "This one is fiesty." He reached down and hauled Lily to her feet by pulling on the ropes that bound her.

"And you," he said darkly, "will have to be taught more respect."

With that, Malfoy slapped Lily smartly across the face.

"To the Dark Lord," he said quietly, though all of the Death Eaters heard him. They disapparated in unison, and Malfoy followed with Lily in tow.

Lily pulled on the ropes the entire way, during the apparation and all. Twice she pulled Malfoy off his balance, and the final time, she threw her weight backwards and pulled him off of his feet entirely. With a defiant glare, she watched as he angrily got to his feet.

Malfoy glared at her as he picked himself up off a cold stone floor. Pulling back his foot, he kicked her roughly in the stomach.

"Stop squirming, mudblood," he hissed.

Lily yelped and then nearly cried. She prayed that the baby had not been hurt. If it had, she knew she would die. She began to wonder if she should not just submit and play nice.

"Lucius, is that anyway to treat our guest?" a cold voice issued from a dark corner. Voldemort stepped into the light that was cast from a torch on the wall. Lucius dragged Lily to her feet again, before turning back to Voldemort, his eyes downcast. Voldemort seemed to approve of their work as he looked Lily over and sensed that her power was now trapped where she would not be able to access it. He ran one exceptionally long, pale finger down the side of Lily's cheek and laughed, a high-pitched cruel laugh, at the look of defiance in her eyes.

"Please show our guest to her room, Lucius," Voldemort said before turning around and fading back into the shadows. Lucius nodded and led Lily down a narrow corridor. He walked her into a small cell on the left side of the corridor and removed the ropes that were binding her. He had already pocketed her wand and the cell was not just a cell made of iron bars, but of magic as well. Lucius stepped out of the cell, locked the door and then turned an icy look in her direction.

"Don't worry, Mary-Ann won't be able to bed him too many times. Voldemort is going to see to it that he is exterminated within the next two weeks."

And leaving her with that lovely image, Lucius strolled back down the corridor.

Lily glared at him all the way down the hall, but when he disappeared, she sank against the rough stone wall, sobbing into her hands.

"James," she said quietly. "I'm so sorry. So sorry..." There was nothing she could do. Without her wand, without her use of wandless magic, she was totally defenseless. But she didn't care about that. James. James was totally unaware of all of this...

Her sobs redoubled and she let her forehead touch the cold hard floor of the cell. Her necklace was gone, there was no way she could even see him. She didn't care about herself anymore. They could do almost anything they wanted to her. James was going to die, and it was all her fault. Her only hope was that Voldemort would kill her soon afterwards.

James had promised Lily that he would only be gone a couple of days, but it had already been two weeks. He smiled unintentionally at the thought of Lily. He had gotten all of the information that he could out of the Death Eaters he had encountered and he was looking forward to seeing Lily later that afternoon.

Of course, what he had found out was not going to make life easier in the least. The Death Eaters had something huge in the works and they were guarding whatever it was carefully. Voldemort had only told his closest cohorts about this plan and it had been nearly impossible for James to find out anything. But he had had a chance to think. Why would the Death Eaters turn their victim inside out? To make him unrecognizable. But why? James mulled these thoughts over as he packed his things.

Looking in the mirror he gave a grateful farewell to his disguise and smiled charmingly at his familiar old face.

"Aahh, that better." With that, he apparated back to the small house in Godric's Hollow.

He had apparated into the bedroom and was slightly dissappointed not to see Lily there but, after stowing his suitcase in a closet, he made his way out into the house.

"Lily, I'm home," he called, a happy smile finding it's way to his lips. He found her, sitting in the drawing room, reading over reports from the hospital.

"Please don't tell me that's what you've been doing the whole time I was gone," he said, smiling lovingly at his wife. She looked up and after a moment of what looked like bewilderment, she returned his smile.

"Are you okay?" James asked, eyeing her carefully. She looked worried.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm so glad to see you," she replied, smilingly lovingly at him. James could not put his finger on it but something in her eyes was different. However, he continued to smile just the same. She walked slowly up to him and put her arms around his neck.

"I've missed you so much, James," she whispered, before kissing him gently.

"I've missed you too," James conceded, losing himself in the feel of her soft lips on his.

It had to have been at least two days since Lily had been captured. Two days huddled against a stone wall in a dank, cold room. Lily hadn't given up her determination; there was still some fight left in her. So when Lucius Malfoy came walking back up the corridor, she stuck her chin out proudly, getting to her feet and crossing her arms over her chest.

Malfoy stopped and glared hatefully at her.

"I know I shouldn't care, but what are you looking so proud about?" Malfoy walked over and let himself into her cell, locking the door behind him.

"You're all alone, no powers, no hope, no...," he paused cruelly, "James."

As he spoke he backed her up against one of the cold stone walls. "And...no one to here you scream," he said darkly.

Lily's eyes widened in fear as she felt her back hit stone. "There's always hope," she said defiantly. He was far too close, her mind was screaming at her not to, but she couldn't obey. She hauled back and spat right in his face.

"Bastard," she hissed, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

Malfoy calmly wiped his face on a sleeve of his black robes.

"You really are beautiful," he said, taking her face in his hand, "It's a shame you are a mudblood." He watched her for a moment, a greedy look sneaking into his eyes. "Malfoys have never married mudbloods, but that doesn't mean that we haven't had our share of...entertainment...from them."

"You wouldn't dare," she said quietly, although a good deal less confidently. Her heart was pounding in terror. She knew he would. She was as worthless to him as the stone wall she was backed up against.

Malfoy answered her with a glare as he snaked a hand up to close around her throat, pinning her head to the wall.

"You don't know what I _would_ do," he hissed very close to her face.

"Does Narcissa know you have fun with your prisoners?" Lily choked. "I don't think she'd like that very much."

The pressure he was exerting on her windpipe was nearly choking her, and she could not move, for fear he might actually do just that.

"What Narcissa doesn't know...," he said grinning evilly at her. He leaned forward pressing harder on her throat, and ran his tongue lightly up the side of her face.

Lily shuddered and gasped for air, trembling in fear. Thoughts were racing through her head, horrible thoughts that should never have had to be there. She tried to push him off her with the last of her strength, but couldn't.

An evil glint found its way into Malfoy's eyes as Lily began to tremble in fear. He continued to press firmly on her throat, as he ran his tongue up the side of her face again. Malfoy pulled away and looked at her fear stricken face. Glaring malevolently, he pulled her away from the wall by her throat and threw her from him.

"You aren't worth my time, filthy mudblood whore. Besides, I don't want something that's been used by that blood-traitor Potter." He strode out of the cell, locking the door behind him, and reveling in the pain and fear that he had inflicted on Lily. Truthfully, he did not want her, she was sickening to him, but he enjoyed that look of fear on her young, mudblood face.

Lily hit the wall as Malfoy threw her forcefully from him. Her hand hit a jagged edge jutting from one of the stones that made up the wall. As she fell against it, the sharp edge cut into the palm of her hand. She let out a whimper of pain as she hit the floor. Clutching her hurt hand to her chest Lily scrambled over to the corner and huddled into it, still shivering and sobbing with a combination of relief and fear.

"James," she whispered, taking in a shuddering gasp. "Please be alive..."

**AA/N: Again! Please remember to review. I love to hear what you think! I also might be in the market for a beta reader. If you are a beta reader on this site and would like to beta for me, then please send me a message.**


	15. Retreat

**A/N: Okay, so here is the new chapter!! Yay! Lol. This is probably a record for how quickly I've updated this story. Anyways, it looks like there was a little bit of confusion as to whether or not Lily is pregnant. So, I'm going to clear things up. She **_**is**_** pregnant. Just, in the original draft of the story, my co-author felt like we should change right in the middle of the story. So I'm having to write in some extra stuff that we didn't originally have in here, just to keep her consistently pregnant. Wow…that's really confusing. I hope that sort of clears things up. She IS pregnant. Okay. Lets see…oh yeah, I hope you enjoy this chapter and please REVIEW! :-)**

James sank deeper into his wife's increasingly passionate kisses. They had not seen each other for over two-weeks and he was just as glad to be back in her arms as she seemed to be in his. Lily pulled away and gave him a seductive look.

"I've really missed you," she said, smiling and trailing a hand down his cheek. James smiled in return and kissed her thoroughly. This time it was James's turn to pull away.

"So, what should we have for dinner?" he asked, turning to walk toward the kitchen. He heard Lily make a disappointed noise and she too headed into the kitchen.

Voldemort strode down the passageway to Lily's cell, followed closely by three of his Death Eaters. He unlocked the door and walked over to the small, huddled mass of robes that was Lily Potter.

"Stand up you silly girl," he hissed dangerously.

Lily looked around and saw him. Hideous, red, slit eyes, white skin; he looked demonic and unnatural. She got to her feet at once and pushed her hand into her robes for her wand, but it wasn't there. Malfoy must have taken it from her.

"What do you want?" she spat at Voldemort. Throwing caution to the wind and letting her anger guide her words and actions.

Voldemort made a small motion with his hand and the three Death Eaters stepped forward. Two of them grabbed Lily by the arms and legs and held her quite still, while the third took a handful of her hair and pulled her head back so that she was looking straight into Voldemorts red, snake-like eyes.

"Just the power that you can offer me," he replied quietly. "You won't be so feisty after this." He pulled a vial out of a pocket in his robes and uncorked it.

Lily struggled with all her might, but the one holding her hair wrenched her head back so far it hurt.

"No!" she shouted, trying to wrench herself free again. She couldn't let them do it…it might hurt the baby... she'd never she James again if they did it...

Voldemort let out a high-pitched laugh that echoed off of the cold stone walls. Then, reaching out, he took hold of her face and forced her mouth open, pouring the contents of the vial into her mouth and making sure that she swallowed. Almost immediately a light that Voldemort recognized as her power could be seen hanging loosely around her. It was a bright shade of green, with a very slight darker green pulsing close to her body as the three Death Eaters stared at it. Pulling out his wand, Voldemort muttered a long stream of words and the light began to move towards him. As it did so it's color changed from a bright green to a murky brown and then to a brilliant shade of blood red, before it came to rest around Voldemort. He breathed deeply, letting out an invigorated sigh. She was more powerful than he had dared to hope.

Lily felt an immensely draining feeling spread through her body as the potion hit her throat. Every ounce of energy, all of her magical power, seemed to drain away. She fought to regain her strength. Lily knew what he was doing now, and she struggled desperately to hold on to the sliver of magic that she could feel belonged to her baby. She looked up through her blurry vision and saw her power flowing around Voldemort, but at least she had managed to hold on to a shred of power and buried it deep within her, where the Dark Lord could never grasp it. She let out a groan. Her entire body was sore and spent.

"You... bastard," she gasped at Voldemort.

Voldemort chuckled darkly, spinning his wand between his fingers. He pointed his wand casually at her and muttered, "Crucio"

Lily screamed. Pain seared through her body as though she was being burned from the inside out. It was pain beyond imagining. She couldn't survive this. It was too terrible. Every fiber of her body was screaming, and so was she. By the time the curse was lifted she went limp in the Death Eater's arms, gasping for air and trembling.

"Now...perhaps we can work on your manners. Afterall, you will be staying with us for awhile. Mr. Potter, on the other hand, will only be staying with us for a short time tonight," Voldemort leered at her, before leaving the cell and beckoning for his Death Eaters to follow him.

Lily's head snapped up from where she had been dropped roughly to the floor.

"No, please! Kill me instead! Not James! Please!" she begged, pulling herself shakily onto her knees, tears coursing down her face.

"I'm afraid that Mr. Potter would be far too much trouble to try to hold captive. As it is, the death of a loved one is integral to making our plan succeed," Voldemort grinned evilly and knew that Lily had understood what he meant.

"Otherwise, he just has too much will to live." And with that Voldemort walked quickly back down the corridor, his Death Eaters in tow, leaving Lily alone, with her thoughts.

"No..." said Lily quietly, pressing her hands over her mouth. Mary-Ann... they were going to kill her and...and she looked like Lily! James would think she was dead!

"NO!" she yelled, sinking to the ground, her tears falling onto the cold stone. For the first time in her life, she felt very, very alone. Lily sobbed, curled in on herself for what seemed like hours. The Cruciatus curse had surely killed the baby. Lily could imagine no way that something so small and innocent could have survived the onslaught that her body had gone through. She continued to sob, hands pressed over her abdomen. Yet, as she lay there, she began to feel the tiny stirrings of power that she recognized as belonging to her baby. It was very small, but somehow seemed very strong. Lily closed her eyes and tried to feel whatever she could from the baby. The baby was still very small, Lily had only been pregnant for a little over a month, but sure enough the little bit of power that she did feel had a new and interesting feeling. The baby's power was a wonderful mixture of her own cool tangy power and the fierce warmth that was the essence of James's magic. With these comforting thoughts and feelings running through her head, Lily slowly, very slowly drifted to sleep.

James sunk into a chair at the kitchen table, smiling lovingly at Lily who was standing at the other end of the kitchen getting her plate together. She still had a very odd, disappointed look on her face and James could not understand why she was so upset now that he was home. Mary-Ann grumbled silently to herself as she sat down at the table across from James and began to eat some of the food that they had prepared. In all fairness, it had been the most fun she had ever had making dinner. They had decided what to make and then gone about putting the ingredients together and occasionally tossing bits of half-prepared food at one another. It had been exceedingly entertaining, but she wanted more than that. She wanted him. She tried to keep the look of longing out of her eyes as she nibbled on a green bean.

James frowned slightly at Lily.

"I thought you hated green beans," he commented. She kept her face averted and simply shrugged. "They're not so bad," Lily said as she fiddled with her necklace. James frowned slightly. He had never known Lily to give up a grudge so easily on a vegetable that she did not like. But he let it go, just happy to be in her presence. When they had finished eating, James helped Lily to clean the dishes and put them back in the cupboard.

"I love you, Lily," he muttered, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist. He was so close. She could feel his breath on her neck as he leaned in and kissed trails down her skin. It made goose-bumps erupt on her arms and legs. Mary-Ann wrapped her arms around him, letting her eyes fall closed, and letting herself enjoy the sample of what was to come.

Then, suddenly, she felt the dark mark sear on her left fore-arm. She was being summoned to the Dark Lord. She screamed curses in her mind. She did not want to leave! Mary-Ann thought that by taking over Lily's life she would be protected from her former colleagues, especially since it was common knowledge that no one could seem to find out where the Potters lived.

Mary-Ann, tried to ignore the burning in her arm, but as she moved to kiss James, she felt a sudden tugging and realized that Voldemort would not patiently wait for her to come of her own accord. He was apparating her to him. James, who was still locked in a tight embrace with her, was also being brought to him. James frowned in surprise as he felt Lily and himself apparating. Had she intended to apparate? He knew that it had not been him. Then who was it? And where were they going to end up?

A million questions flew through James' mind as he felt the ground disappear and they were suddenly sucked into a vacuum. This was all very strange.

Lily had grown weaker and weaker each time Voldemort and his cronies came in to collect more of her power. Luckily she had managed, during the dark and lonely hours between their horrific visits to fortify and hide the baby's magic. She put all of her cleverness and ingenuity into protecting the life that they were threatening to steal from her body. And so far, her protection spell seemed to be working. The baby had survived several visits, with almost no change in its power even though the visits were taking an awful toll on Lily. The last time, only a half hour ago, she had not had the strength to do anything more than feebly protest. It was the worst thing she could imagine; having her body so weak, yet wanting to fight back so badly it hurt.

This time, Voldemort had left her and his Death Eaters behind, saying he had urgent business to attend.

"Make sure our guest is... comfortable," he had said, a cruel, twisted smile on his face. If Bellatrix Lestrange had not shown up when she did, they would have almost certainly forced themselves on her. Lily was terrified by the looks on their faces, and she was so weak that she would not have been able to fend them off. She never thought that she would be so happy to see Bellatrix Lestrange in her life.

Bellatrix had informed the men that they needed "the _Potter_ girl" unharmed, except for the power the Dark Lord was siphoning from her, and had sent them off with a few nasty curses tossed at their backs.

Now, Lily was lying on the floor where they had tossed her aside. She was bleeding from her hand. When the men had realized that she had hurt her hand, they had rubbed something in it that burned horribly. Then they had laughed as they tossed her roughly back and forth to each other.

Bruised, beaten and drained, she no longer cared about herself. She desperately wanted to survive for her baby, but the odds of them making out of this alive seemed very slim. Lily began to feel that she was going to die anyway, if not from a killing curse, then from maltreatment. So then, the worst part was that James was going to die too, and it was all her fault.

Every time she though of it, the idea of James being tricked and murdered brought on fresh sobs, more pain, and more of the agony that she had grown used to by now. Her life was becoming a cycle of pain, humiliation, and fear. She wondered how long she had been here, and she realized that there was no way for her to remember. It surely must have been at least ten days.

Lily crawled feebly back into her corner and curled up there, hugging her knees close to her chest. She would never see him again. Never. That one word, never, brought her whole world crashing down.

But no. She could not give up hope yet. James would not want her to. It felt like her mind was filled with a new strength, even if her body was not. When Lily regained a little strength, she stood, shakily at first, and walked slowly to the bars of the cell. Reaching out a tentative hand, she touched the bars lightly. It was as though she'd touched an electric fence. Yelping in pain, she snapped her hand back to her chest so fast that she almost lost her balance.

There just had to be a way out of here. But with very little strength, not having eaten in at least three days, and her powers drained from her, every attempt ended in failure.

After the fifteenth attempt and another nasty shock, she gave up for the time being. She could not afford to use any more energy or magic in her condition. The baby needed her to stay alive. She lay back down on the cool floor and closed her eyes, trying to think of James, of happier times. Then she fell into a fitful sleep.

James's feet hit the floor and he stumbled a couple of steps away from Lily with the force of their landing. He barely had time to register their dark, cold, stone surroundings before he heard a terrible ripping sound. His wand was out with inhuman speed.

Lily cried out in pain and crumpled to the floor where she lay face down. James' mind reeled with shock and fear. His auror training would not let him break down and run to Lily like every fiber of his being was screaming at him to do. James' bright hazel eyes scanned their surroundings, but he did not see anyone or anything. He had not even heard a curse, though that did not mean that someone had not silently cast one.

James covered the distance between himself and Lily in less than a second. He mumbled something and a thick grayish bubble appeared around them. It looked very much like an upside down bowl. This was a very strong shield and would hold up against most attacks. The diameter was about ten feet, giving James enough room to try to help Lily.

He dropped to his knees next to her, praying that she had just been stunned. However, turning her over, James saw a very deep gash going all the way from below her navel to the middle of her chest. His eyes burned and his throat and chest tightened in panic as a puddle of dark red blood pooled around them.

This could not be happening. It was a dream, a horrible dream; it had to be. But Lily's blood was warm and wet on his hands and soaked through his white shirt and black slacks as he held her trembling form close. He did not know what to do for her. He had some first aid training, but this was a very deep wound, and he knew of no way to stop the inevitable.

She made quiet gurgling noises and looked at him with a shocked and frightened look in her eyes. James could hardly bare to look into her eyes as the life slowly drained out of them, but he knew that he had to. He knew that he must look into those emerald green depths for the last time.

"Lily," he choked, "Lily, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do. If I hadn't moved..." He stopped as a sob broke his sentence off.

She trembled more violently and ran a hand gently down his cheek, leaving a trail of the red liquid where her hand had been.

"Please, Lily," he whispered desperately, tears pouring freely from his eyes. "Please don't go. I…can't… I love you too much." James held her close as her body grew colder from loss of blood. The love of his life, the only woman he had ever loved; her life was draining away and there was nothing he could do.

He wished that he was a healer, that he knew something that would help her. He prayed that he could save her. He had to save her. He could not imagine living without her and he could not believe what was happening.

James looked back into Lily's eyes and pushed some of her hair out of her face as she took a few more gasping breaths and then, she was gone. Her breath stopped and her eyes grew dull.

"Lily. Lily," James whispered, trailing his fingers over her lovely face, as his heart was squeezed painfully by an invisible hand and finally shattered into a million pieces.

"Lily! LILY!" But, no matter how he called, she would not come back. Clutching her body to his chest, James rocked slightly back and forth, tears streaming down his face and choked sobs occasionally pushing past his lips.

Then, from one of the dark corners of the stone chamber, there came the sound of applause. James' head shot up, and he found himself looking straight at Lord Voldemort. The absolute grief and despair that was gnawing painfully at the place where his heart had been, turned quite suddenly into anger, hatred, need for revenge.

James laid Lily back gently and pushed a single remaining strand of hair out of her face, before standing up and facing Voldemort. He dropped the shield that he had placed around himself and his love, his face slowly distorting into a mask of hatred.

James squared off, keeping a firm stance and glaring hatefully at Voldemort.

"You killed her," he growled viciously.

"Yes, and soon I will kill you too," Voldemort replied, reaching for his wand, but James, adrenaline pumping, managed to reach his first.

With a vicious slashing motion, he opened a huge cut in Voldemort's leg. Unfortunately his aim was off, distorted by the tears still clouding his eyes, and it had not slit Voldemort's throat as James had intended. Suddenly, nearly twenty-five Death Eaters appeared, closing in around James in a circle.

"Don't," Voldemort hissed as he frantically worked to keep his leg from bleeding. "I want to kill him myself. Just capture him. I had intended to kill him immediately, but it seems that he has too much fight in him either way. Perhaps we should let him calm down before I attempt killing him."

The fight was over within minutes and predictably, James was now tied tightly in ropes. He had not gone down without a fight however and had managed to kill two of the Death Eaters. Now they were gathered around him and they took turns taking out their frustrations on him. James simply lay there as the Death Eaters kicked and hit him. None of it mattered anymore. As he lay on the stone floor, and the Death Eaters beat him, he could still see where Lily lay fifty feet away in the pool of her own blood. Lily was dead and all he wanted to do was join her.

When the Death Eaters finally ceased their beating and hauled James to his feet, he made no move to walk on his own and they were forced to drag him down a dark side corridor.

James spent the next 28 hours bound and lying motionless in a cell of some kind. After the first hour of reliving Lily's death over and over again, he began to systematically shut out parts of his heart and mind. He briefly wondered if he could retreat far enough into himself to never feel anything again. He liked that idea and began trying to do just that.

When the two men finally came to move him, James was very nearly catatonic. He did not even hear their whispered comments.

"Is he alive," a deep voice asked.

"Hell if I know," replied a rough higher voice.

"Why doesn't the Dark Lord just kill him already?"

"I think he decided that, seeing as Potters thoroughly broken," rough voice answered, as he grabbed a hold of the collar of James' shirt. "that he can use him for power as well. I don't think the Dark Lord expected him to be so thoroughly submissive."

"Hmm," deep voice seemed to ponder this as the two carried James roughly out of the cell. "So, why is that snot-nosed kid having us put him in the cell with that crazy girl?"

"I don't know," rough voice replied, "Black does what the Dark Lord tells him to, and I just follow orders, I don't ask questions."

The conversation was over, and both men continued to drag potter down the corridor in silence.

Lily woke with a start, her eyes opening slowly as she heard a couple of Death Eaters dragging someone into her cell. She did not have the strength to look up. She felt as though she had been trampled over by a herd of horses, bruised and battered, and cold.

With much effort, she rolled herself over to see what was going on, and to try and make an attempt to defend herself if she needed to. But she recognized the person they brought in. It was James! He was still alive! Relief so powerful it overwhelmed her swept across her mind. But it couldn't be...

The Death Eaters threw James none too gently into the cell, grumbling about running stupid errands when there were muggles to torture. James hit the ground and a muffled grunt escaped him. The deep voiced Death Eater threw his glasses into the cell, not caring where they landed, then locked the cell and walked away.

"James?" she asked in a rather frail voice as the Death Eaters started to stalk back up the corridor. It had to be him. It just had to be...

James kept his eyes closed and continued to lay motionless on the cold floor, the ropes biting into his legs, chest, arms and throat. It couldn't be her. He was hearing things. He had…watched her die a mere 36 hours ago. He breathed evenly and simply lay on the ground. James had packed away much of his memories and mind as he had laid in the dark empty cell. He barely even noticed his surroundings. Even Lily's voice seemed like the echo of a memory that he had not locked tightly enough away. James bore down tightly on the sound of her voice, making sure that he would never hear it dredged up from his memories again. It was too painful. The less he remembered and the less he felt now, the better.

After several minutes, James' eyes slid open and yet he saw nothing. Lily crawled closer, her whole body complaining. She gasped and tears started to flow down her cheeks as James' eyes suddenly opened, but there was nothing there. For a moment she was afraid that he really was dead.

Lily reached out instinctively and felt his throat for a pulse. There was a pulse, but it was slow and faint. She had learned that some individuals in trances could almost stop their own hearts, and she knew that was what he was trying to do.

"James?" Lily inquired quietly and with great effort, untying him. She bent down shakily and kissed him gently, pressing her bruised lips to his very cold lips.

"James?," she continued to call, wondering where he was and if he could ever come back to her.

"Please, James," she whispered, placing his arms around her and entangling her own arms around his cold, blood stained chest.

"Please come back. I don't know what happened, and I don't know what will happen, but I know that I need you. I need you to come back, right now…"

Lily continued to talk to James and plead with him to return for the rest of the night. By morning, or what Lily assumed was morning, she did not seem to have made much progress. He did not respond at all, and even her body against his was not warming him up. But she knew that she could not give up.

James stared blankly ahead of him. Nothing had meaning anymore, and he wondered why the hole in his chest, where his heart had been, was suddenly throbbing again. It had been hours of meticulous memory blocking before his chest had stopped aching, but there had been nothing but emptiness since then. Now, however, it ached horribly.

Then he heard something. It was her voice, but so real. Not like the memories he had suppressed. No this was so close, so full of an emotion he had never heard in her voice before. It could not be a memory.

And then his heart gave an awful throb. It hurt so badly that he tightened his muscles, trying to block the pain, but realized that there was something in his arms. More quickly than he could imagine, everything clicked back into place. He glanced down and realized that Lily really was in his arms and now he was holding her _very_ tightly.

James drew a gasping breath and then began panting, trying to think clearly about everything that had happened. Tears flowed down the sides of his face.

"James!" Her own tears were streaming down her face now, as she sat up and brushed her hands over James' face as he lay on the ground finally looking at her, really looking at her. He tears fell onto his face and mingled with his.

"Lily?" he whispered, his eyes searching her face, hoping that this was true. He tried to lift his left arm and discovering that it was broken. But it did not matter, he brought his other arm up and gently ran his fingers down her cheek.

"Yes, James," Lily said, smiling for the first time in days. She brought a trembling hand up to cover his, pressing it to her cheek. She brought her lips down to his in a gentle kiss.

James smiled wearily, the excitement of having Lily alive and with him was almost too much. He had not slept in days, he had simply wished for death. Now he let everything else go and focused on the joy, the miracle of Lily alive.

Placing a hand on his left arm, Lily realized that it was broken. She squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated with all her might. From somewhere deep within her, it welled up, and then, she felt it coming back. Just enough of it to do what she needed to do. Putting all her energy into healing James' arm, she felt her hands grow hot. She borrowed just a touch of magic from the baby, knowing that she could not do it alone. Her cut palm burned worse than ever, but after a moment, she felt the break in James' arm vanish. Then, trembling and exhausted, she collapsed back to the floor, breathing heavily.

James felt Lily's palm grow hot and the fracture in his arm heal. It was her. But how could that be?

"How can it be? I watched you...die," he finished after a long pause. Lily had collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily, and James scooted closer to her, his whole body screaming in agony from the kicks and punches of the Death Eaters and the lack of circulation from the ropes.

"That... that wasn't me," Lily said, still gasping from the exertion of healing him. Her body was still trembling, and she tried to hoist herself up on her hands, but fell back down, crying out as pain shot through her arm from the wound inflicted on her palm.

"It's really you? You're really...alive?" he asked dumbly, just barely stopping himself from reaching out to her as she lay exhausted on the floor. He could not bear to touch her. She would turn out to be simply a dream.

"Only just," she said, smiling grimly at him and wincing again as her hand throbbed painfully. "And now you'll ask me what your pet name for me is, and I'll say I'm your fawn. And I'll ask you where the first place we made love was, and you'll say..."

"Oh, Lily," James breathed, crawling over to her and gathering her in his arms, the sound of his broken heart echoing through his voice as he said her name. Fresh tears came to his eyes as he held her tightly to his chest, despite the fact that he was still covered in drying and sticky blood.

Lily felt her eyes burn, welling with tears as James held her close. She never thought she would ever be this close to him again. But she was. She wrapped her uninjured arm around him and gently, tenderly, kissed his neck and collar bone (the only place she could reach) again and again.

James held her close and felt her warm breath on his neck as she showered him with kisses. His heart was pounding with a mix of pain and relief. She was alive. But he could not get that horrible picture of her dead eyes out of his mind.


	16. Helpless Desperation

**A/N: Okay, first let me apologize profusely for taking soooo long to update. I will be including the reasoning behind this at the end of the chapter if anyone is interested in my lame excuses. X-( Besides that, WARNING this chapter gets very dark and is very much Mature in content. Also, sorry about the cliff hanger, but I will do my best to update soon. Okay, so, without further ado, Chapter 16!! Yay!!**

"Awww, isn't this a lovely reunion," a cold voice sounded from outside the cell. James let go of Lily, letting her sit back on the stone floor, and struggled to his feet, his whole body screaming at him not to move.

"Let her go," James growled, as he approached the bars.

"I'm not going to let go of such a great source of power just like that," Voldemort responded coolly.

Lily's eyes went wide with fear and hatred as she heard that terrible, high-pitched voice. It was him. That horrible monster that had stolen her magic and nearly sucked all of the life away from her and her baby, and let his followers harass her and do terrible things to her.

"James, don't... don't touch... the bars..." she said, leaning forward in her sitting position on her good hand, cradling her cut and bleeding hand to her breast.

James heard the warning too late as he made to grab the bars. A painful jolt of what felt like electricity coursed through his body. He jerked his hands away and bit down on his lip, but continued to glare at Voldemort as though nothing had happened.

"Just let her go. Look at her. You can't get any more power from her, she's completely drained. Let her go," James repeated, casting around for something to bargain with.

"James, no!" Lily pleaded. "No! He'll kill you! Please!"

Tears streaming down her face, she backed up against a wall and used it to push herself unsteadily to her feet.

James ignored Lily and kept his eyes fixed on those soulless red hollows.

"Let her go, unharmed, or I'll summon every Auror for six hundred kilometers."

"Silly boy, I could simply kill you right now," Voldemort stated.

"Not through these bars," James pointed out, seemingly fearless despite the terror coiled deep in his chest, terror that he might not be able to save Lily. "No magic in or out. Quite a useful caging charm really."

Voldemort's eyes narrowed even further as he watched James closely. This young man was becoming a bit more troublesome and demanding than he had anticipated.

"Let her go unharmed and I will give you this," James said, holding up his emergency summoning stone, "But I'll know if you harm her, and believe me, if you do I will summon them faster than it takes you to cast a well-placed Killing Curse."

Voldemort seemed to mull over his options while still glaring hatefully at the much younger man. He could see that the young man was bargaining for the mudblood's life, and this disgusted him.

"NO!" Lily cried, reaching out a hand to him and taking a few quick steps toward him that almost made her overbalance. "No! James! Please! He'll kill you! And once you're dead, he'll kill me, too! James, I can't live without you!" she sobbed.

She over balanced and sank to the floor on her knees, still staring at him pleadingly. Voldemort's lips curled into a wicked smile. The little mud-blood girl did not want to be set free; she would rather die with this blood-traitor than live without him. And no matter how well he disguised it, the blood-traitor wanted her with him. Voldemort's smile widened.

"Let her go," James repeated showing him the stone that held the summoning charm threateningly.

"Very well," Voldemort repeated in a cold voice. Besides it was not like he could use her much more at this point and he would have killed her in a few days anyway.

James nodded grimly and kneeled down in front of Lily. His eyes said everything. Without opening his mouth, he told her how much he loved her, how much he trusted her to find a way to help him escape, and how it was okay if she couldn't as long as she was alive. He could not bear to watch her die again.

"No," said Lily, shaking her head at him. "I'm not leaving you again. I'm not leaving you here to die. If I leave now, he'll kill you the moment I'm out of sight. No. I'm staying right here, where I belong; with you." She brought a hand up to his face, staring into his eyes, her determination unwavering.

Voldemort's grin widened. This was almost worth letting his prey go, just to witness her pain and the strange spectacle of emotion that played between these two. However, Voldemort was far past sick of the little drama that was occurring in front of him. He had better things to attend to, his interest in them dried up. He muttered a few words then waved his hand. The mudblood was immediately disapparated and appeared in the middle of the Indian Ocean. Voldemort vaguely wondered how long it would take the exhausted woman to drown.

James, who was looking into the necklace that he had refused to leave on the fake Lily's body, bit his lip against a stream of curses as Voldemort forcibly apparated Lily.

Lily gasped and inhaled water as she was suddenly ripped from her cell and flung into somewhere vast and blue. She clambered to the surface, and as she broke through it, she spluttered and choked, spitting up water.

Feebly treading on the ocean current, she realized that there was no land in sight, no ships, no anything. Sea and sky were all that she could see for miles and miles. Rage like she had never felt boiled up in Lily. Flaring with newfound strength, she concentrated with all her might on that tiny dank cell, with her husband. It took one very long minute, and then she disappeared.

For some time, she was swirling in compressed space, not breathing, feeling her blurred surroundings pressing in on her, closer and closer, until finally... She landed back in the dark stone room, only a few feet from where she had been taken from in the first place. Even as she fell to the floor in exhaustion and pain, Lily could feel Voldemort trying to force her back there. She clenched her hands so hard that the gash on her palm split open and began to bleed afresh, reinforcing her mental blocks, refusing to let him take her away from her love again.

"Well, it seems that your mudblood...wife, will have nothing to do with being sent away. Oh well, I'll be taking that Mr. Potter," Voldemort said as he summoned the small stone in James' hand. James held tightly to it and gave Voldemort a defiant look.

"I'm sure that you don't want me to kill the mudblood right now," Voldemort said, moving his wand to point at Lily. James tried to suppress the fear that threatened to choke him as Voldemort pointed his wand at Lily. He dropped his defiant gaze and held his hand open.

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," Voldemort cackled as the stone zoomed into his outstretched hand. "Can't have the whole Auror population swooping down on us, now can we?" James had moved to stand in front of Lily, who was sopping wet, spluttering and gasping for air.

"Oh, don't worry, boy. I'm not going to kill her. She'll probably die of dehydration within the next day or so. She's not worth the energy to curse her to death. You on the other hand," Voldemort said menacingly, "I shall enjoy killing you, after I've stolen your power."

And with that, the Dark Lord turned and walked away, laughing in a high-pitched laugh that chilled the two prisoners to the bone.

Lily could not summon the strength to move. She started to shiver as the cold seeped through to her skin, her sodden hair clinging to her face and body. She could taste the salt water on her dry, chapped lips.

"I'm s-sorry, James," she whispered shakily. "I c-couldn't... I c-couldn't..." She had no tears left to cry. Blood ran down her arm, her palm burned from the salt water trickling into it.

James put his face in his hands as Voldemort's echoing footsteps faded. Why had she not just apparated somewhere else, waited it out, and gotten help? Why did she have to be so stubborn? He had asked her to go. Pleaded silently with her to find the strength to leave him, but she had refused and now, James looked at his empty palm, he had no way to even begin to bargain with the Dark Lord.

James finally turned around and sank down to his knees by his wife. She was shivering and drenched and her palm was bleeding badly. He ripped one of the sleeves off of his white shirt and silently bandaged her hand.

"I'm sorry," Lily whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Feeling herself regain an ounce of strength, she sat up, watching him bandage her hand. "I couldn't leave you again. I'm not...not strong enough," she said quietly, her voice wavering. She had been wrong about not having any more tears, she thought, as they threatened to fall again as she stared at the floor. Her heart was squeezed painfully in her chest as she realized that her rash actions, though she had wanted desperately to be with James, had not been the best course of action for either herself or the baby.

James remained silent for a long time fighting his anger at her. Anger that was born out of desperation; that at least she should live and possibly he might get help as well, seeped through his veins. Now it seemed as though they were both doomed to die here, in this small, cold hole. Finally, he nodded. "I know," he murmured, "I know."

Lily looked up into his face. She was not easily fooled.

"You're angry with me," she stated quietly. She could not look him in the eye. Turning away, she got up shakily and walked to the other side of the cell, settling herself beside a wall for support. He was mad at her for not leaving him to die. Her eyes burned. She found that she was angry as well. He had no right to feel angry at her. Hadn't she always done what he asked? Well, with only a few exceptions.

James stayed where he was as Lily moved, his eyes and throat burning with anger.

"Dammit, Lily. God **DAMN** it!" James slammed his fist down on the stone floor.

"We're going to fucking die here, Lily. Why couldn't you just... I wanted to..." he could not finish as he sank to the ground his forehead resting on the cold stone. He was driving himself crazy trying to save her and with guilt at not being able to.

Lily started to cry again. "We're either finding a way out of this together or not at all, James," she said angrily, choking on her tears.

"Don't you dare say I should've gone! Don't you dare say I should have abandoned you! Don't! Because if you say that, I might have to end it right here!"

She didn't really mean that. But in a way, she did.

James lay there; his knees, forehead, and fists resting on the stone floor as her words seemed to reverberate around his skull. He had to find a way to get them out of here. Lily had saved his life on several occasions, now it was his turn.

James sat up, straightening his back as he heard footsteps coming into the corridor. He stood as Voldemort and roughly six Death Eaters approached the cell. Backing up, he stood purposefully in front of Lily where she was leaning against the wall.

Lily's eyes went wide.

"No, James!" she said, standing up quickly, her adrenaline rushing, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't let them... They're going to try to drain you..." she whispered, her hand almost cutting into his shoulder. They were probably coming for her as well. But James was with her this time. There was still hope, so long as James was with her.

James kept his hazel eyes locked on Voldemort's red ones as the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters approached. He did not fail to realize that, in his excitement, Voldemort put the magical barrier back on the cell, but it was not nearly as well constructed as before. James heard Lily whisper in his ear and wondered how she was able to stand up, or to exert so much pressure on his shoulder. Voldemort stopped and eyed the two people standing in front of him.

How was the mudblood able to keep herself alive, much less stand? According to the spell, the witch or wizard would die after all of their power was taken, but Voldemort had been sure that he had taken all of her power the last two times he had come. Yet, here she was, still alive.

Lily looked at the Death Eaters surrounding _him_, and counted six. The last one... Lily gasped slightly and shrunk behind James, her hand shaking slightly on his shoulder. Lucius Malfoy. She had never thought she could be truly afraid of any ordinary man before, but she was afraid of him. And she hated being afraid. But he had terrorized her with threats and blows since she had come here, and had twice come very close to... she whimpered quietly, her hand clutching James' shirt.

James heard Lily whimper and he knew that Malfoy must be in the group, and sure enough there he was, his usual leer firmly in place. Suddenly James wondered if something had happened to make Lily's fear of Malfoy intensify so greatly. He stood straighter, drawing himself up to his full 6'1", determined to show these men that he was just as strong if not stronger than they.

Lily felt a surge of pride in her husband as he shielded her from Malfoy and the rest of the men in the room. Malfoy glared at her still, an evil smile on his face.

"Did you not say, master," he said pointedly, his eyes respectfully averted from his master's face.

"That the mudblood should be made to repay us for our hospitality when you are finished with her?"

Malfoy leered at James, the implications behind his words ringing throughout the room. Lily felt fear and horror rising up in her throat, threatening to steal her breath, but she forced it back down.

James returned Malfoy's leer with a hateful glare of his own and took a convulsive step toward the other man.

"Fuck you, Malfoy," James growled at the other man. His cold gray eyes shone with amusement as they met James' furious glare.

"Indeed, Potter. That is just what we were intending..."

James' hands curled into fists at his sides, but he fought to control his temper. Mafloy was exploiting the situation just to make him loose his head. He continued to glare at the lot of them though, his mind beginning to work on a way to get out of this nightmare.

Lily, unlike James, took a step back against the wall, horrified, disgusted, and, hatefully, terrified. But James would not let that happen. Not now that he was here. They were together, and she was determined to keep it that way. She pursed her lips and glared the Dark Lord down, her eyes never wavering and full of fury. Malfoy was next.

"Go to hell, Malfoy!" Lily shot at him, turning her glare on the man next to Voldemort. She hated being scared, and she would do whatever it took to look less terrified than she actually felt.

James threw Lily a warning look over his shoulder as Malfoy laughed cruelly.

"Ah, Mrs. Potter, for ridding the earth of muggles and mudbloods, I shall be rewarded in heaven. Besides, there is no sin in lying with a woman who is no better than a prostitute," Malfoy finished, his gaze focused on James and not Lily. James ground his teeth together viciously. Malfoy was just trying to get a rise out of him and this was neither the time nor the place to lose his temper.

"What do you want then?" James spat at Voldemort, "I'm assuming that you didn't come here just to harass my wife."

"I pity you, Malfoy," said Lily quietly. "I pity you, that you have to force yourself upon a woman in order to get any satisfaction from one. Tell me, are you gay?" she asked coldly. "Because raping women is not the way to cover it up."

At that moment James could have killed her himself. He did not understand. Did she want to die by the hands of these crazed and angry death eaters?

"You silly little girl," Malfoy said silkily, taking several steps toward her. James started angrily toward Malfoy, but somehow found himself being restrained by the other Death Eaters. He bit, hit, kicked, and despite the occasional yelp or groan from one of his captors, James was unable to make much of a difference to the men who were effectively subduing him.

"You think that I force myself on women because I can not find one willing to consent?" Malfoy continued, effectively pinning the small red-head to the wall. "You are wrong. I do it because, I enjoy the looks on their faces. The fear and pain that flickers behind their eyes," Malfoy drawled, catching Lily's neck and pressing her back against the wall. "My, my. Now, doesn't this seem familiar." James struggled viciously, trying to free himself; a stream of curses tumbling from his mouth.

Lily's eyes widened in fear as the memories flooded into her mind as her back hit stone. She couldn't move. She began trembling, not wanting to have to look into those terrible, cold eyes, but unable to look away from the horrifying, hungry look on his face. And something snapped.

"Let me go!" she yelled, trying with all her might to push him off of her. Her long fingernails dug into the back of Malfoy's hands, raking shallow cuts into them, trying to force his hands from her throat.

Malfoy instinctively let go of her and with a yell of rage, backhanded her roughly. "You..."

"That is enough, Lucius," Voldemort drawled, a small smile lurking around his mouth. "Please restrain our...lovely guest," he continued his eyes shifting to James and a hungry look rippling over his snakelike face. Malfoy smiled and waved his wand at Lily, placing a Petrificus Totalus spell on her, as Voldemort advanced on James with a small vial of potion in his hand.

"No-" Lily yelled, but was cut off mid-sound by the spell that hit her. She fell back against the wall, mercifully balanced on her feet against it.

After restraining James, which took some doing on the part of the Death Eaters, Voldemort poured its contents down James's throat. Then, the battle turned inward. James put all of his concentration into his training, into accessing his power and refusing to let it go. He had hated this part of Auror training and had complained to his commanding officer, but now that he was in this situation he could not have been more pleased for the training.

It took him several moments, but he was able to resist the effects of the potion. Breathing heavily, James met Voldemort's surprised face and smirked.

If Lily could have cheered, she would have. He was resisting it! Her eyes registered movement next to her. Malfoy had not gone to restrain James. He was still next to her. Her eyes, the only part of her body that she still had control over, widened as she realized what he was about to do, but she couldn't prevent it.

Malfoy placed a hand on Lily's stomach and apparated while the other Death Eaters were busy restraining the Potter boy. Voldemort glared furiously at James.

"Crucio." James fell to the ground, every inch of his body searing with pain. Then, it was over. As James lifted his face from the stone floor, he noticed that Voldemort and his Death Eaters had left. He guessed that he must have passed out from the pain. He wondered how long he had been unconscious. Casting around the cell it took him less than a second to realize that Lily was gone as well.

Lily felt sick as her feet hit the ground hard, and the body-binding spell lifted on impact. She stumbled, her knees buckling and hitting the floor painfully. They must be in a different room of the same building, or dungeon, or wherever they were. Lily got to her feet at once. She readied herself to apparate away, but Malfoy was too quick for her.

Malfoy put a magical barrier around the room and watched as Lily tried to apparate. It was still something of an oddity that she was even still alive, much less that she would have the strength to be so resistant. Malfoy's lips curled into an evil smile; he would fix that. Malfoy advanced on the slender figure, undressing her with his eyes. This was going to be fun. Grabbing her neck, he turned her and roughly pushed her toward a raised stone dias. This room had been used for sacrifices thousands of years before and the stone dias would be a perfect place. Malfoy pressed her forcefully down on the dias and grinned evilly.

Lily brought her feet up and pushed hard against his stomach, making him break his hold for only a moment. In that moment, she scrambled out from underneath him and ran for the door. She had almost gotten to it when she was forced backward so hard it was as though she were on the end of an invisible lead that had been suddenly jerked backward. Landing hard on her back, the wind was knocked out of her

Malfoy laughed cruelly as he walked over to the breathless woman. He picked her up by the throat and walked her back to the dias, an eery patience in his actions. He knew that he would get his way, no matter how much she fought. Malfoy pinned her down on the small dias, pressing hard on her throat and surveying her for a moment.

Lily gasped for air. She struggled, tried to push him off of her, her injured hand splitting again. In desperation, she did the only thing she could do. With one swift movement, she back-handed Malfoy across the face with as much force as she could muster.

Malfoy turned his head with the force of the blow, but when he looked back down at Lily he licked the blood off of his split lip and smiled maniacally at her. Pulling out his wand, he muttered a spell and ropes shot out of the end to wrap tightly around Lily's wrists, digging cruelly into her skin.

James beat his fists furiously against the rough stone walls. The outsides of his hands were torn up and bleeding, but he did not even notice the pain as thoughts raced through his head about what was happening to Lily.

"No!" Lily yelled, her scream echoing so loudly that they must have heard it down the hall. She struggled so wildly that the ropes made her wrists bleed. But there was no use for it. The look on Malfoy's face as he looked down at her was the most terrifying thing she had ever seen. Eyes wide in fear, her breathing became ragged, and she struggled harder, squirming as much as she could.

The mudblood witch's screams only seemed to spur Malfoy on. He moved his hands down to her pants drenched in sea water. Pulling them off roughly, he was a bit surprised to find a very sexy pair of underwear. Malfoy gave her a one-sided smirk as he removed those too. As she lay there, pinned to the dias and half-naked, Malfoy felt his desire for her increase exponentially.

Lily shuddered. This couldn't be happening. No. She stared up in horror at the man above her. The hungry, inhuman look on his face was terrible to behold. If he wanted to see fear in her eyes, then she wouldn't look. She turned her head away, her eyes burning, her rapid breathing making her chest rise and fall painfully.

**A/N: Hello again! Thanks for reading the chapter and please REVIEW! So, here is the reason why it has taken so long to get this chapter up. First of all, the material for this chapter was saved on the hard drive on my old computer and therefore it took me some time to be able to sit down and put the hard drive back in the computer (yes I'd taken it out) and then pull the files off of it. Also, this is a very crucial point in the story. This is after my co-author and I had decided to make it so that Lily was not pregnant during this part of the story. However, since I'm really trying for continuity in this story (and I think I explained this a bit in the last chapter) I have decided to keep her pregnant. Therefore this chapter presented numerous problems and originally included more horrible things happening to Lily that I just can't justify putting a pregnant character though, even if this story is TOTALLY AU now. Oh, and finally, I'm in Japan; so finding time to update is very tricky what with learning Japanese and having adventures and everything. So, that's all for my lame-o excuses and I'm truly sorry it took so long. I'm very grateful to those of you who have not given up on this story and I'm looking forward to reading your reviews and hearing what you think about it.**


	17. Fading Hope

**A/N: Hey there! I know it's been FOREVER, but here you go, the next chapter! Please let me know what you think of it. It's obviously been awhile since I've written for this story so I hope everything still flows okay. And again, I'm really sorry for making you wait so long. Enjoy!**

Sirius Black had just gotten back to his apartment in London when he recieved an urgent Floo from the Ministry. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY'RE MISSING?" Sirius yelled at the young woman whose head was floating in the fire.

"They've been missing for the last 48 hours, Black." Her voice was hesitant as she continued, "…And Potter's stone was just de-charmed!"

Sirius was shocked. James was hard-headed about working alone, but he must be in serious trouble. He wasn't stupid enough to cancel the summoning charm on his emergency contact.

"Alright, I'll get right on it, thanks, Janice." The head disappeared with a pop. Sirius grabbed a handful of floo powder and threw it angrily into the flames licking the insides of his fireplace. The fire roared into a towering column of emerald heat.

"Remus!" he called sharply into the fire. He heard a small commotion that sounded like a dish being dropped and broken. Then Remus appeared in Sirius' line of sight.

"What? What's going on?" Remus asked, sounding more than a little shaken. Sirius wondered why his calling would have startled Remus so much, but decided to let it go.

"James and Lily are missing. Apparently no one has heard from them in the last two days! We've got to do something, Moony!"

Remus' eyes widened as he heard the news and he simply nodded in response to Sirius' statement.

"I'll…meet you at Order Head Quarters?" he asked, still looking very preoccupied as far as Sirius was concerned.

"Yeah! Get there as fast as you can!"

And with that Sirius withdrew his head from the fireplace and apparated. It was about ten minutes and twenty apparitions from one place to another, to throw any death eaters off of his trail, when Sirius finally made his way into the Order Head Quarters. There were a few Order members gathered in a room off of the main hallway. These were the members that were currently either in hiding, or seeking refuge until they could find new homes.

"Hey! I need some volunteers for a rescue mission!" Sirius called, not stopping his quick stride to see who would follow. When he got to one of the smaller rooms towards the back of the building that they used as a meeting room on a few occasions, Sirius sat down at the table and began actually trying to think of what to do to save his friends.

He knew he must act quickly if he wanted to save James and Lily, without losing anyone else. Remus arrived a few minutes later looking particularly haggard. Sirius was fairly certain that he saw a bruise on Remus's neck. James and Lily's rescue was the most important thing at the moment, and Sirius decided that he would have to remember to confront Remus later about his recent suspicious behavior.

"Alright," Sirius started without greeting, "here's the plan."

Lily continued to squirm, but there was little she could do with her arms and legs tied to the dais. Silent sobs wracked her body and she could feel the cold stone on her bare legs and buttocks. Malfoy leered over her, eyes cold and cruel as his hot, putrid breath ghosted over her face. She refused to look him in the face, frantically casting around the room for _anything_ else to focus on; something to take her mind off of what was happening.

Lily bit her lip against a terrified whimper, as Malfoy pressed against her and she could feel his erection through his pants. A voice inside her head was screaming at her to do something, ANYTHING, but her helplessness was absolute. She heard Malfoy unbuckle his belt and she squeezed her eyes shut as hard as she could, and tried to think of a place far away.

"STUPEFY!"

Lily gasped and her eyes snapped open as she heard the shout and whipped her neck around trying to identify the source of the spell. It hit Malfoy square in the temple and he fell forward heavily. The weight of his unconscious body crushed down on her making it very difficult for her to breathe. She called out hoarsely to the wizard who may or may not be there to save her.

"Who…who…are you?" she croaked, as footsteps rapidly approached.

"Lily? Oh my god, Lily!"

"Remus!" Lily's voice caught in her throat as relief flooded her system. To say he had come just in time would be the understatement of the century. Tears streamed down the sides of Lily's face as she began sobbing quietly. Remus shoved Malfoy to the ground and aimed a kick at his ribs for good measure. Lily was too exhausted and too relieved to be embarrassed that her entire lower half was naked. Remus said nothing, only cast a spell that made the ropes binding Lily disappear, and then helped her to her feet. After quickly retrieving her discarded clothing, he kept his gaze averted as Lily hastily pulled her sopping clothes back on, cast a quick drying spell on her, grabbed her hand and led her to the door. Remus checked the hallway for any opposition before leading her out and down the hall.

"Remus…what's going on? How did you find us?" Lily managed through silently tears of relief, doing her best to keep up as Remus pulled her to his side and set off at a quick stride.

"I'll explain everything later. First we have to get out of here"

Lily could hear the urgency in his voice and through her cloud of exhaustion she began to hear the sounds of battle echoing through the stone labyrinth. As they turned a corner, a spell shot past Remus's right cheek. He stopped and shoved Lily roughly back against the wall, out of the line of fire. Lily thought she smelled burnt hair. Remus ducked down, then quickly shot a few stunning spells at the Death Eater around the corner. A loud thump sounded, and Lily found herself being dragged to her feet once more.

After several more corridors and another encounter with a Death Eater they met up with a member of the Order. The woman was tall, but very slender and she was biting her lip nervously as Remus and Lily turned the corner and walked quickly toward her, Remus half dragging Lily beside him.

"Oh good! For a second I'd thought…Merlin's Beard! What happened…?"

"Not now. Take her to St. Mungo's, right away!" Remus ordered, passing Lily off to the woman, who nodded once and disappeared with the bruised and trembling girl.

Once he was sure that they had made it out, Remus charged off down another corridor knowing that _Phase II_ was going to be a bit more difficult to complete.

Sirius knelt next to a Death Eater he had just stunned. He could see the extra wands sticking out of the wizard's pocket and grinned triumphantly when he pulled them out, recognizing James's eleven inch mahogany, and Lily's only slightly shorter willow. Stuffing them in his back pocket he continued down the hallway, hoping that the plan would work.

He broke into a run and turned several corners, until he got to what he felt was near the center of the compound. The other Order members were currently drawing the Death Eaters out towards the outer corridors, and Sirius met with little resistance. Once he found the perfect spot, he knelt down and began fumbling with something he had been keeping under his cloak. He placed the small bundle on the floor and waved his wand over it, muttering a few words.

Sirius stood and began to jog. He hoped he could make it in time to where they thought the holding cells were located. As he turned another corner, Sirius found a cell set into the wall on his left. His heart did a somersault as, for a moment, he thought that it was empty and James might never be found. But then, he noticed movement in the corner, a dark heap moaned quietly as it shifted on the floor. Sirius threw a spell at the cell to unlock it and had to duck as it ricocheted into the wall behind him.

Remus came tearing around the opposite corner just in time to see the spell hit the wall and hear Sirius cursing loudly. He ran up to the cell door and cast a complicated unlocking charm on the lock. The door swung open and Remus and Sirius tore into the cell, the latter muttering something about knowing that was the best way to open the cell.

"James?" Remus called as he and Sirius made their way to the corner of the cell. For one horrifying moment Remus felt that this might be a trap, but as Sirius reached out and turned the person over, it was obviously James. He had been severely beaten, and probably had several broken bones. Judging by his light panting and the fact that he had not said anything yet, Remus guessed that several of James's ribs had been broken.

Remus and Sirius picked James up and with one of his arms over both of their necks the three young men began a hasty retreat. They picked up a front and rear guard of more Order members as they got to the end of the corridor. Remus was amazed that James was, for the most part, carrying his own weight. When they reached the outside of the compound, Remus looked around, searching for the secure portkey. Sirius pointed to a place about 150 meters ahead of them. Sounds of battling wizards and witches mostly drowned out James occasional pained groan.

The small group reached the portkey and were magically whisked away. However, the events of this place would stay with them all forever.

**A/N: Sorry it's kind of short. There is more to the story. Hopefully I'll be continuing it.**


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